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I could have died? anyone else struggling with this?
I could have died? anyone else struggling with this?
I'm two months past my ectopic pregnancy/ruptured tube and surgery. Being told I could have died, I still can't process that. When I think about it I burst into tears. I can't believe I was so close to death and the only symptoms I had was a bit of bleeding and the feeling of trapped wind. It's made me question, how could I be that seriously ill and not feel it? The night before my scan I was lying in bed feeling bloated and had no idea what was going inside me. I just keep thinking, what if I had just bled to death in my sleep. I've had two periods since and every time I see that blood it takes me right back to the day I went for my internal scan, thinking I was miscarrying, not bleeding to death. I just don't understand. Is anyone else having the same feelings?
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Re: I could have died? anyone else struggling with this?
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss.
I completely understand how you feel and feeling this way can be very commonly felt by many women.
When we experience an ectopic pregnancy, we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency, it's treatment, reduction and for some, loss of fertility, the loss of our babies and concerns about the future. Any one of these is hard to contend with and putting it all together is immense. After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women find that they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and symptoms can include anxiety and not being able to focus on everyday things like work. There are a number of avenues that you could look into to get the help that you need.
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. If you feel you need to, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling.
We have information on our website about finding counselling service.
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
We are also here for you whenever you need us,
Sending much love,
Karen x
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Further information is available at http://www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
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Re: I could have died? anyone else struggling with this?
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- Joined: Tue Nov 10, 2015 3:01 am
Re: I could have died? anyone else struggling with this?
I am sorry for the trauma.
Re: I could have died? anyone else struggling with this?
Re: I could have died? anyone else struggling with this?
When I try talking to my boyfriend about it he tries to help but just makes things worse and therefore I shut down again. Saying things like 'being anxious isn't going to help' and ' your not ready to think about trying again because you have these fears'. I tried to explain that I will never forget how close I was to death and that the scariest part of all this is that I am going to put myself in a vulnerable position again, potentially the same position, when I'm ready to try again.
Even when I am ready, no matter how long I wait, all those memories, fears and anxieties will come flooding back. That doesn't make me 'not ready'. How many people have a near death experience then put themselves in exactly the same position again? Well, I am going to and I don't know if that makes me brave or stupid.
KellyLynn and roshMC: It's so still so recent for you guys. I looked a bit at Post Traumatic Stress Disorder on the net and one of the things they talked about on there is avoidance. I did that for weeks, the day I came out of hospital I was planning work and sending e mails so the teacher taking over from me had everything she needed. I just switched off, didn't cry or talk about it, I just said /it is what it is'. With school and the physical recovery I manged to put the actual trauma somewhere in the back of my head. The fact that you guys are confronting your feelings and fears at this point is amazing because I wasn't strong enough. I can't say it gets any easier because I'm struggling but I hope in the future we can all find a way of moving forward and organise our experiences in our head. I'm realistic, I don't there's a quick fix and there's no right of wrong way of feeling. This forum has honestly been my savior,
Re: I could have died? anyone else struggling with this?
Re: I could have died? anyone else struggling with this?
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Re: I could have died? anyone else struggling with this?
I posted earlier this evening about PTSD and I wanted to suggest you think about it. What we have been through is so traumatic. I don't even understand why women are told this- what is the point of telling me i 'nearly' died? If I had died, I'd be dead. As I didn't die, why tell me about it? I really HATE the NHS and the way they treat women,
Anyway I just wanted to say, PTSD is a common and normal reaction to a traumatic event and help is available. If your feelings don't go away or if you feel it is too much to cope with, please consider going to your GP and asking to be referred to a counsellor who specialises in PTSD. Why this is not done routinely and we are sent home alone with no advice and no help and no follow up I have no idea. Well, I have the idea it's because the world is still run by men. That's my idea. If men had ectopic pregnancies they would be treated properly.
Re: I could have died? anyone else struggling with this?
Hi Im currently recovering from emergency open surgery I had on he 11/11/16 from a cornual ectopic pregnancy..... I also lost a huge amount of blood due to internal bleeding 4 litres, so I'm very lucky to be here thanks to the surgeon blood transfusions and my uterus being repaired. I was fortunate to keep tubes but haven't had my follow up app yet it's next week I am going to question the extent of damaged that was made to my uterus due to the rupture. Very scary experience for myself as was on a ward in hospital and was literally left to bleed to death, surgery ended up being emergency after finally being listened to about the increase of pain was examined and suspect of internal bleeding due to ectopic pregnancy. Was a whirlwind as it happened really quickly..... was also in alot of shock as we'do had our 12week dating scan the day before and nohing was picked up, baby was well with heartbeat and wriggling away.. I am fortunate u like some women on these forums to say I'm lucky to be blessed with a daughter with my partner and have decided because of such a traumatic ordeal and me almost losing my life we won't be trying again..... I guess it's beacause it's the 2nd baby we've lost this year and quite frankly I'm scared too. Losing baby hasn't really hit home yet as I've had to focus on recovery it's felt like just more of a medical procedure, but my permanent scar will remind me otherwise I know I'm only earlying into my recovery but like you the trauma and almost losing my life is hard to process.....
I can't belive how many women have suffered due to negligence this shouldn't be happening.
Re: I could have died? anyone else struggling with this?
I'm new to this website but I am finding comfort from reading that so many people are experiencing the same emotions and pain as me. It's been 16 days since my ectopic pregnancy ruptured and I almost died as result.
My husband I found out 2 weeks before that we were pregnant with our first and we were thrilled! I
Unfortunately the happiness and the excitement was short lived and before I knew it I was in hospital, rupturing and very close to death.
I'm really struggling with all of this as firstly I don't know why this happened, secondly, in the most selfish sense, why me and thirdly will we ever be parents!
My family have been a pillar of strength but now time has moved on everyone is back to their normal lives, including my husband and I feel like I'm stuck in sadness and being unable to move forward and just scared of what the future holds. I don't feel like I can speak to anyone as I'm just repeating myself all the time and I'm trying to be strong but I'm not sure how long I can keep up the facade.
Did anyone feel like this? Any advice on how I can slowly move forward would be much appreciated.
x