By registering on our forum, you can view and contribute to more topics on ectopic pregnancy. Your details are confidential and we do not send unsolicited emails. For your confidentiality, you can choose your own forum name to protect your anonymity if you so wish. If you register, there is no obligation to post; you can simply take comfort from the words of others. It is entirely up to you whether you post a message or read others' experiences or do both.

Heart is broken...

This is a welcoming place for you to ask your questions and share your knowledge and experiences of ectopic pregnancy.
Post Reply
Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Hi both,

Toni - I will add you on Facebook. Typically I've given it up for lent because I was seeing pregnant announcement after pregnancy announcement so decided a break would do me good. I've also given up chocolate - crazy I know.

With the scratch being a trial I was put into one of two groups so one group gets the actual scratch and the other gets a placebo but I don't know which. I've not had any after effects either so just got to hope I did get it.

I hope your dream is right and it's me sharing good news with you all soon.

Glad to hear Arielle is ok and I bet it's such an exciting time now that she is starting to interact, it's good you are getting out too.

Butterfly1 - I can't believe you are due next month. Please keep us updated every step of the way I'll be think of you and waiting to hear baby has arrived safely and then you can keep us posted on the joys of motherhood.

I'm sure I'll be asking lots of advice from you both when it's my turn and all through pregnancy.

I have some final blood tests on Monday and then we've been told we can TTC again. I'm scared and excited at the same time. I feel I have good support from the hospital this time which really helps and I feel mentally and physically positive at the moment.

Speak soon. Xx

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Hi ladies,
I hope everyone is doing ok.

Nicola I understand u not wanting to see pregnancy anouncements on fb.. I was the same before. Oh wow that is determination giving it up and chocolate too. That I would find really hard to give up... so wel done for doing it. Kool just add me on fb when ur ready to go back on it.

Oh I see.. well I hope u did get the scratch even though uv had no side effects. Surely there's still a chance u could of still got it.
When will u know if u got the scratch?

Me too I hope my dream was right n I'm really sure ul be sharing good news with us any day now ;)

Thank u ;) Yea its good Arielle is doing well n its lovely to see the changes in her. She is a right cheeky baby n has started to keep pulling her bib over her face. . She likes the feel of the material so im having to keep pulling it bk down.She ddoesn't understand that she shouldn't do it.. I get worried coz of her breathing. Im trying to put a bib less on her bit reason she wears one alot is she's always dribbling. . and her clothes get really wet from it. I think its coz she's been teething a bit but not to point she's in lotsa pain.

Yea its good to get out sometimes when I can. It just takes longer with Elle. My sister n baby niece visited on Fri n my bruv came over on Saturday. My friend should be coming over tomo.

I can't believe Elle will be 5 months old on March 15th only 9 days away. Going to start weaning her slowly wen she's 5 months old. .. starting with baby rice.

She's starting sleeping through the night some nights is good so she can go a long stretch with out a feed n then I feed her just before she goes to sleep wen she's awake altho some morning's I have to wake her to feed her n some nights I get her u in the night to feed her while she's asleep. Like other night she had last eaten about 9am n was still sleeping so I got her up n fed her while she slept at 2am n put her back to sleep. She's feeding ok but she's still a small petit baby.

Me n my bf Dave are going to Wales on Thursday eve until Sunday to see his family. So his mum n other sis n other niece can meet Arielle. Glad for him n Arielle to see family but im dreading the 5 hr train journey n all the stuff will have to take n staying in his family homes for few days with Elle. I hope it ain't stress n that I can feel more at ease this time about sharing Arielle with his family n not feel stressed like I did wen his other sis n niece came to stay with us for few days.

I understand why he wants to go now coz his mum has been ill for a long time with Dementia so he wants to see her while shel still hopefully know who he is n for him to meet her grand daughter.

I have Arielle most nights now instead of her dad having her in front room coz I told him I want her to get in more of a routine n she's started sleeping longer through nite wen with me.

She's still in a moses basket so we are going to get her cot ordered this week.

Nicola we will be happy to give u advice throughout ur pregnancy n wen u have ur lil baby. Im always asking friends for advice n my sis but most of them say they don't remember coz their kids are all big or grown up now.

I hope ur blood tests go ok today n thsts brill news u can start to ttc again. Fingers crossed for u this month ;)

Its great u feel positive n have support from the hospital n u always have our support here... We are with u ever step of the way.

I hope u are doing ok. X x x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Hi Ladies,

Well it's been an eventful day. I had 18 vials of blood taken and got to 15 and had to ask her to stop as I thought I was going to faint, managed to get the other 3 from the other arm when I felt better. My husband has one too but he fainted and kept fitting and wasn't coming around properly for ages which was really scary, never seen him like that. Luckily he's ok now, took him home and he's gone to bed for a sleep. He looked so poorly and I had to drive back from the hospital (which was fine) I feel ok now and was fine pretty much straight after...it didn't help that they were fasted blood tests and we had to wait in the maternity unit for them all. I'm back at work now but keep messaging my husband as I just want to knows he's ok. Good job he doesn't need anymore. I'm ok giving blood but even 18 was a little too much for me. They have said it will be 12 weeks before we get our blood results back.

I will definitely add you on Facebook when I'm back on - I'm trying to stay off it until April, the break is doing me good although I think I deserve chocolate after today but think I'll have some sweets instead.

I can't find out about the scratch until September and I'm hoping I'll be pregnant by then but I would like to know either way if I got it.

I can't believe Arielle is nearly 5 months that's crazy. Will you continue to breastfeed whilst weaning or do you go straight into that?

That's nice you are going to Wales, although I agree it's a long journey especially with a baby and all the stuff you need to take. Hopefully you will feel ok once you are there and Arielle won't feel unsettled being somewhere new.

Will you try and settle her in her own room when you get a cot? Hopefully she will get used to it quickly.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Nicola xx

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Wow Nicola that sounds so painful all the blood u n ur husband had taken especially all the blood u had taken. I hope u are ok now. It must of been so draining n especially having to wait in the maternity part for results can't have been easy.

I hope u are preg before yr blood tests com back.

Oh I see September is quite far away for scratch results. .. im sure u will be preg before September thou... fingers crossed for u n il keep praying for u.

Yea I know it's gone fast Arielle being nearly 5 months old. At moi I only mainly breast feed her in morning n then she has bottles rest of day. I will continue to breast feed her n bottle feed her wen I ween her as il araet slowwwith just baby rice n then eventually as she eats more food il cut down her bottles. Don't know when il stop her breast feeds completely.

Thanks we are going Wales this morning n im dreading the journey iv packed most stuff n ita so much but I need her things n the steriliser.

Thanks I hope she settles too. I hope it goes better than last time sharing Elle with Daves family. .. I don't know why I find it so hard to.. I think coz its just ne b Elle most time n I have her every night now as trying to get her in routine n she's sleeping through the night most nights now from about midnight after last feed usually but sometimes she won't sleep till about 1am but still sleeps through the night. I feel bad waking her this morning to feed her early as usually she would still be asleep bit longer.

No il keep her in her cot when we get it in our room until she's bit older maybe a yr old she can have her own room then.

I hope ur ok n I hope you other ladies are ok. X x x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Hi Toni,

I hope you have a nice time in Wales, I'm sure one you're there and settled you will all be fine. Hope the journey was ok too.

I've not had a great week. Woke up in the night and turned over and think I've torn a muscle in my neck. I couldn't move it at all this morning and had to call work to say I wouldn't be in as I couldnt look left or right to even drive. Pain has eased up a little but I think that's the strong painkillers. Not looking forward to seeing how bad it is in the morning.

We are staying positive about trying again and I know if something happens again we have the support of the hospital and they will test any tissue so if that's something wrong with chromosomes then we will find out. Hopefully nothing will be found and it's just one of those things

Hope Kate and Butterfly1 are doing ok too? Xx

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

I'm so​ sorry I've not been on here, been through a very difficult time. I found out i was pregnant early January, didn't say a word to anyone as didn't want to jinx it, but no need anymore. I had a bleed at 8 weeks, the baby miraculously was ok, heartbeat found. Got to what i thought was 11 weeks, thought am nearly past this first trimester, had another bleed, baby died at 10+3. The baby has been sent for testing, had it removed on the 1st of March. We are now paying privately to get recurrent miscarriage testing as the Hospital have let us down not doing things properly, so we are seeing a specialist in recurrent miscarriage. Got to phone them tomorrow to arrange my first appointment.

We had to attend a wedding yesterday , 10 days after the baby was removed, my husband's sister got married, i shouldn't have gone really as i got so drunk, i thought drinking alcohol would help but just ended up really drunk and in tears, feel so embarrassed about that and don't know how to feel ok about me crying, just want to put a bag over my head! X x

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

P.s. I'm sorry again for not being in contact for ages, just been really struggling with this loss as the baby was alive and growing, they've given me scan pictures to have of the baby, could see it's arms and legs beginning to grow and now it's gone. I just want some answers now. x x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Ok Kate I am so very sorry. I know how difficult it is seeing a heartbeat at a scan and then losing it at a later stage. I think once you see that heartbeat you believe that things will be ok.

I did wonder if you might have been and you were trying to get past the 12 week mark which is totally understandable. Seems as you will go down the same process as me then with the blood testing etc. We have been referred to the NHS RMC in our local hospital, however, we've discussed going privately next time if things go wrong again because the hospital have no compassion and the wait between appointments and for blood results etc is so lengthy each time. We've been told it will be 12 weeks before we get any results from our blood tests.

I really hope you get some answers and you can go into your next pregnancy with a little hope that things will be ok. I really am so sorry to hear this.

Don't worry about what people think - you need to grieve and people will understand. Have you had some time off work?

I'm thinking of you and we are here to chat whenever you need to. We all understand and I wish I could give you a hug xx

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

You know me so well, you're absolutely right, wanted to get past 12 weeks and then say, as i didn't want to jinx it but again wasn't meant to be. I think this loss has been the hardest as it was there and growing, i don't know what I'm doing wrong.

The baby has been sent to Bristol and the private clinic we've chosen is in Surrey, bit of a trek but i need to do this now, my Hospital is hopeless, and i just don't have the patience to let them mess around with this.

I'm drained i really am. I don't know what to think or feel. X x

Butterfly1
Posts: 115
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2016 5:13 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Butterfly1 »

Hi ladies,

princess- I hope the journey wasn't too bad and that you are having a nice time in Wales.

Nicola, I hope your neck is better. I know how painful that can be! I cant believe it is going to take 12 weeks for your blood results to come back and why did they need to take so much?!! All the waiting for results is awful but come September and the scratch results I am confident you will be pregnant. Keep positive.

Keeponhoping- I am so sorry to read what you have been through. It devastating and I can only imagine the scan pictures offer a mixture of emotions which must be hard to process. I hope you have a lot of family/friend support around you. You was very brave to go to the wedding so soon after what you and your partner had been through. Please do not feel embarrassed about getting drunk- I think that is a very understandable response. I hope you get the answers you want and need.

Take care everyone. I am thinking of you. xx

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

Thank you Nicola and butterfly for making me feel better about my outburst of emotions!

I phone the clinic tomorrow to make our first appointment. I just hope at some point we will get our happy ending, got to try and get some positivity back, cant lose it now, we will not give up, those that give up are the ones who fail, I'm sure I'll feel a bit better once we have a date for the clinic, something to work towards. X x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

You're not doing anything wrong, I felt the same and I questioned everything I had done in the days leading up to when I was told I had lost the baby. I coped so much better this last time and I think it's because I couldn't allow myself to get excited until I had been for a scan and seen the heartbeat, which sadly we never got to this time.

A friend of mine has recently had her test results come back for inherited sticky blood after losing 3 pregnancies, she is now hopefully going to be given injections in her next pregnancy and they hope she will go on to have a normal pregnancy.

There really is hope so don't give up. You are doing all you can having the tests done privately. Take the time you need to grieve and I promise it does get better.

I would highly recommended acupuncture and or reflexology. I think they have really helped me rebalance after my losses and I find the talking to someone a bit therapeutic. My acupuncture lady gave me some herbs after my last lass as they helped rebuild the womb and promote blood flow and she said my energy is better than it's been the whole time she knows me...anything that helps you relax is definitely a good thing.

Butterfly1 - I know. 12 weeks is ridiculous just to get results from some blood tests, I then have to get an appointment at the clinic so only knows how long that will take. Hope you are doing ok and getting ready to have your previous bundle in your arms soon. I'll be excitedly awaiting your news next month. Xx

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

The hospital told me next time I fall pregnant, touch wood i do! To take 75mg of aspirin, but i said we have no results back yet so why do i take this, they just said it keeps the blood thin, whether they have a suspicion that i have this clotting blood disorder i don't know, but I'm bypassing them now and seeing this man, I've had enough, the hospital have told me they are testing for the blood clotting disorders too, but after researching it, it clearly states that you should not test for this while a woman is going through a miscarriage as the results are not valid due to hormones, they took the blood for this a day before removing the baby, so that's wrong already, it also took them a week to actually send off the bloods and the baby, I'm fed up with them not doing things correctly, so my husband said we'll let them come back with their results whenever that may be, and in the meantime we'll see this specialist and get things done properly.

This loss for me has been the hardest as the baby made it so far this time, the PUL and blighted ovum losses weren't as difficult as i never saw the baby with either of those, but this one is in a league of it's own! However i knew things we're going to go wrong with this one, something wasn't right even though it made it to over 10 weeks, i still held myself back from getting attached as i knew it would end, it was the Hospital who get your hopes up saying you've done it this time. X x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

I took baby aspirin last pregnancy and didn't even make it to 5 weeks - that was self prescribed as I had read so many articles about it but it didn't work for me and it probably won't for people unless there is a clotting issue.

I hope you get some answer when you go to the clinic. Let us know what they say today when you speak to them. It will all work out. I know it's so hard to think like that at the moment but it will, like you say, don't give up.

We have just been given the all clear to start trying again, it's so scary now though because I feel in allowing myself to open up to the fact that it could all go wrong again and I feel like I'm in a good place at the moment and with no definitive answers at the moment as to why we have had the losses I don't know how I feel about it all. My husband just says we will be fine next time. It's tough.

Xx

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

I don't understand why hospitals tell people to start trying until all the results are back, our hospital told us we could start trying after my first period, but isn't it going to happen again until we get the results back and they know what to treat? i thought their idea of aspirin taking was too good to be true! and like you, i thought is pointless unless there is a clotting issue. When I first emailed this specialist, i told him about everything and his words were do not fall pregnant until ive got all of the test results back, as he puts you on a treatment plan of medications to sustain the pregnancy, if you fall pregnant before, it will be too late. Obviously, the results may come back clear of course. The hospitals advice was wait for first period and get back to trying, continue folic acid, take aspirin and early scan at 6 weeks, great! It is tough. xx

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

It's all conflicting advice isn't it and you just don't know what to do. On our original letter from the hospital we were told not to fall pregnant between having the tests and getting an appointment at the RMC as they said we may need treatment prior to getting pregnant, however the, hospital said one cycle and go again when we were there and Tommys told us two so they could do the scratch in between cycles and then try as the scratch is only effective for 3 months but I don't think I even got it.

I guess going privately you will get your results much quicker though and hopefully a better follow up and care plan. Have you managed to speak to them and get booked in? I know part of me wants something to be found so it can be fixed but then of course I don't want something to be wrong.

Take Care xx

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

I've contacted the private clinic and I'm booked in for April 24th even his private clinic has a bit of a wait, at least though by that time I'll be in a better frame of mind! I then get the blood results back in 2 weeks and then by early may I'll know what we're playing with. I suppose it's not too long to wait in the big scheme of things, but im taking their advice and have been told to hold off trying to conceive until all of the results are back which is sensible i suppose otherwise no point in going in the first place! X x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

It does seem a while but you're doing the right thing. Will they have to do more blood tests when you go on the 24th or have you already had those done?!

Its probably only one or two cycles in the scheme of things and you would have to wait at least one anyway but at least this way you are hopefully getting some answers. How is your husband doing?

I can't believe I have to wait 12 weeks for my results. Well 11 now as it was a week ago. It's so frustrating. Xx

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

The hospital took bloods the day before my surgery which is to check the blood clotting one, but nothing else has been done or referred for which is why we're going private as they seem pretty useless and don't really know what they're doing! So i expect i will have a load of tests done at this clinic as nothing else has really been done by my own Hospital.

He's been really supportive but both feeling fed up with this keep happening and the lack of support from our Hospital. He's very quiet and not sure what to make of it all really! Nor do I, there is no guidance from the NHS whatsoever! Hope your husband is doing ok.

So do you have to wait for these results to come back to get the all clear to try again so you know what you're dealing with if anything?

It's times like this I wish I lived nearer to you so we could have a good chat! My family are not the most supportive, never have been really, luckily my husband's family is! Difficult to talk to friends as noone i know has been through this so feel quite lonely with it all really. X x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Ahh so you will probably get all your bloods done at your appointment on the 24th then, although you should get them back a lot quicker than the NHS. Just be prepared they might take a lot. I had 18 and felt awful afterwards, luckily I recovered quickly but I never want to have that many again.

My husband is ok, he's always saying he just wants to know I'm ok so I imagine it's the same for your husband. They feel like they have to be strong for you don't they?!

Sorry to beat you don't have the support of your family, I'm lucky that my Mum and Sister are so supportive, however, they don't know what it's like and sometimes I just need to be alone and have a cry.

A friend of my mums has had 3 miscarriages and is going through the same process I am (she's the one who has been diagnosed with inherited sticky blood) so as sad as it is we've been able to speak to each other: all my other friends who have been through struggles are now pregnant and just don't ask me any more which upsets me.

It is a shame we don't live closer isn't it. It would be good to have a proper chat. This might sound silly but my husband brought me an adult colouring book and it's really helped me to switch off from things for a little bit (makes me feel like I'm 5 again) I just found keeping busy helps.

Xx

Post Reply