By registering on our forum, you can view and contribute to more topics on ectopic pregnancy. Your details are confidential and we do not send unsolicited emails. For your confidentiality, you can choose your own forum name to protect your anonymity if you so wish. If you register, there is no obligation to post; you can simply take comfort from the words of others. It is entirely up to you whether you post a message or read others' experiences or do both.

Heart is broken...

This is a welcoming place for you to ask your questions and share your knowledge and experiences of ectopic pregnancy.
Post Reply
Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

Wow, that is a lot of blood, do you actually have any blood left?! I wonder what they test for with all of that blood? better prepare myself for that one then!

Yes, they do, although I've never seen my husband cry so much when they told us there was no heartbeat, i was kind of like here we go again, almost expecting it!

my mum just expects me to be ok, onwards and upwards, but sometimes like you say, you just want to cry.

I think the colouring book sounds very therapeutic, that's a great idea! X x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

My tests were for:

The tests are for
Protein C
Protein S
Anti thrombin
Rheumatoid factor
Auto antibody screen
Thyroid
Coeliac
Cardiolipin antibodies
Rubella
Vitamin D
Homocysteine
TSH
testosterone
Prolactin
DHEAs
FAI
SHBG
PRL
FSH
LH
factor v Leiden

No idea what half of those are but that's what's written on all of the forms I had to take with me. Some I've already had but thought they may as well check again whilst I'm there, although now I wished they hadn't.

It's the hardest thing I've ever been though. We were at our 10 week scan when we found out the heart at stopped at 8+4 and at that moment I didn't think I would ever get over it, I think about it everyday but things have got better and I feel in a positive place knowing things are now being done to find the cause. It's frustrating as I look after myself, I exercise, eat well and whilst I do drink I rarely have more than a couple once a week now (if that) I'm having acupuncture etc and all I can think is why is this repeatedly happening?!

It's our due date next month for that one and I know that will be hard as I felt that pregnancy was real, I saw the baby! With the others I never had that and horrible as it is it made it easier.xx

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

Gosh, that's an awful lot they're testing for, which is good in a way!

I have to say I'm feeling exactly the same with this one, struggling to move on. It has been so hard, as with my other 2 they didn't make it that far either, so was much easier but this one has been cruel!

I look after myself too, don't know what was wrong with me at the wedding i don't normally make a habit of getting horribly drunk but for some reason i just had enough and was so sad and angry. X x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

It sounded like you just need to forget about it all for a while and got drunk. Don't worry about it now.

Yeah it is a lot of tests and I still can't decide if it's better they find something or not.

I have acupuncture again tonight and she has said I seem to be doing all I can and everything appears healthy so it's even more frustrating I can't seem to keep these babies.

Are you back at work or are you having some time off? I had a few days of with the last one just after Christmas and it helped me instead of working through and pretending all was ok which I did with the first miscarriage. Xx

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

My GP has signed me off for a couple of weeks.


I'm fed up of seeing babies and pregnant women, it hurts so much. i hope it's our turn soon Nicola.

Think i might try reflexology, have you tried it as well as acupuncture? X x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

I think some time off from everything will help, it's too soon to be back at work when you are going through something like this and especially with everything else that's happened over the last year or so.

I have tried acupuncture and reflexology and I would say I probably prefer reflexology as I found it slightly more relaxing, I'm alternating them at the moment and trying to have a session of each once a month and I really do feel they are helping me to feel in a positive place at the moment.

I hope it's our turn soon too. I think we've been through enough and I just hope we both get some positive news from these appointments and blood tests we have coming up.

Xx

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

I'm almost wishing my life away, wanting April to be here so i can go and see this specialist. Hopefully the weeks will fly by!

It's going to be quite a journey from cornwall to surrey, hopefully it will be worth it!

I will have a look if there's any good reflexologists in Cornwall, some relaxation would be good! X x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

I know what you mean, I was the same waiting for my blood tests to be done and we had to wait 8 weeks as I couldn't go the first cycle after my miscarriage. Now I'm wanting the results im wishing the time away. I've been planning lots of nice,fun things in with friends and family though so that I can stop focusing on it for a little while and I have things to look forward too.

Definitely give the reflexology a try in the meantime and see what you think. Xx

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

Ok, just found out what the 4 vials of blood were for that the Hospital took. It tested for anticardiolipins, lupus anticoagulation and a coagulation screen which have all come back negative, they have just phoned, and that's all my Hospital are doing, as well as the testing of the baby, hence why we're going private

The thing is they took these bloods whilst I was still pregnant so to speak, the baby was still inside​ me at that point.

Im Getting to the point now, do you think they were valid the ones they have taken and shouldn't they wait for a certain number of weeks post miscarriage before testing? X x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

I was told by my hospital that I had to wait a full cycle after my miscarriage when we were told about the bloods tests and I had to come in CD 2-4 whilst on my period so I'm pretty sure that you shouldn't have had those tests whilst pregnant as the pregnant hormones may make them invalid?! How long do you have to wait for the tests on the baby to come back?

I would probably mention that at your private appointment and see what they say and they can decided if they need to test you again?!

I've been worrying because for some reason I don't seem to be ovulating from my left side anymore and it's always the right where I had my PUL but it seems silly to go to the doctors for that reason but I think I'm going to mention it when I get my referral for the RMC through. Xx

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

They really are hopeless, i thought i was right that i had to be a certain number of weeks post miscarriage, ridiculous place! My GP wants me to contact her between cycle days 2-4 when i get my next period to get a blood test to check follicle stimulating hormone and luteinising hormone, don't think she quite knows why she's doing it! Thank goodness I'm seeing this specialist who knows what he's doing! No-one seems to know much about recurrent miscarriage here clearly! Think I'm going to get him to do the whole lot again.

The baby test can take 6-12 weeks so latest to hear will be June.

Were you ovulating from your left side before? I would mention that to your clinic, I've found GPs have very little knowledge on all of this! I think we should mention everything we're worried about, I've got a right list forming for this poor man in Surrey!

Honestly, my Hospital leave me in absolute despair, this is going to be a long old journey, emotionally as well as the car journey! X x

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

P.s. thank you for always being there for me, i really mean that! You have been a real support to me for nearly a year! Had to look then when i joined the forum which says May 2016. X x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

That's ok. You have done that same for me and others on here and I suppose as we have had a few loses and all at different stages too we can relate for all the wrong reasons. I really hope we get some positive news this year and we can talk about pregnancies and how far we have come since last year. Ive been on this forum since March 16 and it's sad that I'm no further along really: let's hope the next year is much better for us both.

I imagine at your private appointment they will answer any questions you have and you won't feel dishes like you would if you were at the NHS hospital.

That's such a long time to get the other results, sorry it will take so long as you just want a definitive answer don't you. We have had chromosome tests done but not on any of the pregnancies so I've been told whilst they may find something it's likely that if we miscarry again they will have to test the baby to get an idea if there is an issue as they said we might be fine individually but once we make a baby it can cause issues. It's all so complicated.

My pregnancy back in August was from my left side and we made it to 8+4 so I feel like that's my better side as the right has only given me PUl and the last very early miscarriage. I'm sure it makes no difference whatsoever which side it comes from but I feel like it does. Ill definitely mention it.

Xx

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Feel dishes..re read that after I posted and had a giggle to myself. I meant rushed. Fat fingers today. :oops:

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

I can't wait to meet this man, who actually knows what he's talking about! Hopefully he'll be a breath of fresh air!
It's all such a long process, however the Hospital said there's rarely anything wrong chromosome wise when they test the baby, but what do they know, they've already taken my bloods at the wrong time!

Fingers crossed we'll both get there, i keep worrying thinking well what if the specialist doesn't find anything wrong then it really was bad luck after all and how many more bad lucks will we have to go through but then i don't want him to find something which can't be fixed! I think i might be over thinking things!

Think that blast out on the alcohol on Saturday has helped as I'm beginning to get my determination back again, my sister in law who got married came to see me on Monday and said she was that drunk she went nose down on the dance floor and blood everywhere, she got locked in the toilet, lost her wedding ring and had to be carried home, we had already gone before that happened! X x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

I'm sure the specialist will seem amazing compared to what you have had with the hospital and I fully understand the dilemma of part waiting them to find something and part not. I know through Tommys that they have treated people who have had 10+ miscarriages and then gone on to have healthy pregnancies but it's how much can you take and every time it's such a huge effect on you mentally as well as physically. I'm very much at the stage you are though and I'm determined not to give up.

My husband says I seem a lot more relaxed about it all but all I can really do at the moment is wait on your blood tests results.

Ahh sounds like a good party then on Friday :lol: I didn't drink on my wedding day as I had only just had the methotrexate but looking back at least I can remember the day :lol:

I have a spa day with a friend from work tomorrow - I am so looking forward to some relaxation and a bit of a pamper. Xx

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

That's reassuring then from Tommys, can you even begin to imagine 10+ miscarriages! Well if those women can continue, I'm not going to let the side down! I keep saying to my husband we will win this battle, whoever is watching over us is testing us as to how much we want this baby! I will not give up.

But like you say it does really affect you mentally, and i will never trust my body again with this, but however it may make me more relaxed with the next pregnancy, (touch wood it happens) as i will just think it will all end again and maybe that's the best approach to take!

A spa day sounds amazing, enjoy and have a lovely time. X x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

I know I can't imagine going through anymore but like you say maybe you just become immune and expect it to happen so when it finally turns out ok it's so unexpected. We have to keep trying and never give up!

I'm so looking forward to the spa tomorrow. Perfect way to start the weekend! Xx

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Hi ladies,

Firstly Kate I'm so sorry to hear what u are going through. I hope ur getting plenty of rest n support from ur husband. I understand u wanting to wait for ur 12 wks scan before telling people. I know how heartbreaking it is n to get so far in ur preg gives u hope. With my first miscarriage I thought i had got to similar to how far u had got as I was 10+6 wen I had my scan to reveal I'd lost my baby 3 wks prior even though I had only been having pain n bleeding for 6 days.

I know nothing anyone can say can take ur pain away. But just know u are not alone.. We are all here for u. I don't blame u getting drunk... its normal to want to block or numb it all.

I really hope u can get some answers with ur private testing. Don't give up hope as it will all come good for u and Nicola n I can't wait to hear both ur good news. If I can get my rainbow baby then so can u both.

In mean time please get rest n try to let urself grieve n take one day at a time. Im sending u hugs n positive vibes n il pray for u to be ok n to get ur rainbow baby which u will do. Ul be ok.. n ur not alone.

Nicola n Butterfly how are u doing?

Thanks the stay away in Wales wasn't too bad.. The journey was 7 hrs there n 5 hrs bk so it was very long n uncomfortable but Arielle was really good n was either sleeping or in a good mood so she did really well.

I didn't get much sleep while we were away as Elle didn't take to sleeping in travel cot so me n my bf took it in turns to letting her sleep on us on first night n second nite she slept in travel cot but I was up with her some of night.

She was really good n happy to meet her family n I know my bf was pleased his mum got to meet her grand daughter was sweet n I tooo a nice photo of him with Arielle n his mum n step dad n iv just jad it printed n framed for him yesterday as a present. It was just sad that his mum wasn't always aware of who he was n she was happy to see Elle but we had tp be careful with her near her just in case as she can get violent sometimes coz of being ill with her dementia n she sometimes hits her carers but she was gentle with Elle. She was nice to me but didn't know who I was I don't think.

So I'm glad I went for my bf n we got to see his sis n nieces who got to meet Elle..I did find it hard being away from home with Elle to look after without all her things. .. n I did feel like outsider at times but I went for my bf n Elle.least his mum has met Arielle now.. it was a long journey to do over 3 days so I don't plan on doing it again in a long time.

I've started weaning Arielle this week. . At moi im giving her just baby rice once a day n today's day no. 4 and she's doing really well n she was 5 months old on Wed..

Nicola I hope ur acupuncture is continuing to help u....

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Nicola that sounds so painful what u did to ur neck. How are u now. .? I hope its a lot better.

It's great ur trying to stay so positive n I def think having the hospital helping u will def help u to have a healthy preg very soon...

Ur spa day tomo sounfs lovely n I hope u get to relax n enjoy it with ur friend. It will do u good. ;)

Butterfly how are u? I hope ur doing ok n ur preg is going well n ur getting enough rest.

Sending love to u all. X x x

Post Reply