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Heart is broken...

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Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Hi Toni,

That's ok - I don't add anyone I don't know either. Arielle is just so gorgeous!

I had so many Easter eggs but they don't last 5 minutes in my house. I love chocolate and I gave it up for lent so I have been binging on it a little this week.

I think you're right though and we are going to have some good news soon - I really think the reflexology is helping me to stay quite positive.

Butterfly1. - wow, can't believe you didn't have any pain relief? I think I would like a water birth (if possible) I imagine it just makes you feel more relaxed.

I'm feeling good thank you. Actually feeling quite positive about everything and hopefully should get my hospital appointment though in the next few weeks.

Hope being a new Mum is as amazing as you hoped it would be. I know I'll be joining you soon. Xx

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Hi Nicola,

Thank you :) Arielle is starting to be on the move more... she don't keep still for long. She hasn't learnt to crawl yet but she rolls over n wen sits up trys to lunge forward n can push herself up on her front so she doesn't like to lye down for long.

Me too I'm a chocoholic n always have some in the fridge. I especially eat it more since I quit smoking last yr.

Oh yea I remember u said u were giving it up for lent.. it must of been hard n I bet u couldn't get enough of it.

The reflexology sounds like it's doing so well for u. Yep good news will definitely be coming ur way soon :)

Im about to get me n Arielle ready to go to the clinic to get her weighed n I feel stressed about going as she's gaining weight n eatin well but I know how negative they usually are about her weight n I don't know why they can't just accept that she is a small baby.

I hope ur ok n ur weeks going ok.

Butterfly I hope u and bubba are well n ur getting some rest when u can. Xx

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Hi Toni,

Arielle is so gorgeous, she just looks like a little doll. Hopefully your appointment goes ok today.

I'm still enjoying the reflexology and it's been so good for me I think.

Was really hoping that we would have had our letter from the hospital now with out appointment as it's been 8 weeks and I was hoping we could start TTC again this month, my husband wants to but I'm scared they won't treat me if I go and end up pregnant as it says if you are pregnant before your appointment then you need to cancel and follow yp with your GP - so frustrating as I've you waited so long to get the appointment.

Hope everything is going well for you Butterfly1 xx

Butterfly1
Posts: 115
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2016 5:13 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Butterfly1 »

Hi ladies,

The waiting for your appointment must be so frustrating Nicola. You must feel a little in limbo at the moment but it will all be worth it in the end I promise. Sounds like the reflexology is working very well.

I hope you got on well at clinic Toni. I'm already dreading the monthly weight clinics as they seem to put a lot of pressure on you. We were discharged by the community midwives today which was good.

I am loving being a mum although the house is a mess as I am literally spending all day just cuddling Jack and I worry when he is quiet and I worry if he cries :roll: !!!!

I hope you have lovely bank holiday weekends. I am sure we will be reading some happy news from you soon Nicola :)

xx

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Hey Ladies, I hope u are both well. Sorry Nicola iv been meaning to reply n then keep just being busy n then forgetting.
How are u? I hope ur ok...

Thanks Nicola :) Awww it's funny how people keep saying Arielle looks like a lil doll.

Thanks it actually went well at the weighing clinic. .. I was dreading it n the health visitor we see there isn't that friendly & is usually so negative towards me but she weighed Arielle n said she's doing well and has gone up on her centile n is now 12 lbs & 7 & half oz. So I was pleased with that n think Arielle eating solids has helped & like I said to the health visitor she always does well with her breast n bottle feeds n now loves all foods I give her. Hv still wants me to take her to be weighed monthly so they can still keep an eye on her weight n I still have to take her to be weighed at docs sometimes. ...

I'm really pleased yoyr reflexology is going so well for u :)

I'm sorry to hear ur still waiting for ur appointment after all this time must be so frustrating. I really hope it comes through u very soon hopefully in a matter of few days.
I understand ur hubby wanting to just start ttc now.. but I agree with u that if u can it be good if u can wait til u have ur appointment coz uv waited so long already n u don't want them to refuse testing u... even thou u could just ttc now n everything go perfectly well wen u concieve but it would be good to have ur appointment first to put ur mind at ease if u can both wait just a bit longer. . I understand it must be so hard for u guys to have to wait so long.

Thank u Butterfly yes we got on well this time at the clinic as ul see I mentioned about hv now bein finally hsppy with Arielle's weight gain.
She's always done well with her feeds from day one wen I use to mainly breastfeed until she was about 3 months old wen I started giving more bottle than breast feeds n now I do just one breast feed in the morning n rest our bottle n solid feeds. Arielle has always been petit n me n her dad both have fast metabolism. . He is small build m I have always been aswell up until before I had Arielle n now im two stone heavier n trying to stil loose it..

Oh that's really good that uv been discharged by the midwives now. Try not to worry about ur monthly weighing coz not everyone's goes on as long as Arielle's are. Most importantly is that ur baby feeds enough n is happy.

Oh bless u... its hard not to worry but I think u learn to relax a bit more the older they get. That is lovely to hear.. im glad ur enjoying being a mum n having cuddles.

Its best to try not worry to much about hse work is what I need to try to do coz I can get a bit ocd with it.. iv always been like it but im not as bad as I was yrs ago with it.

I hope you both having a nice weekend :)

Mines ok.im just been in a lot n bit worried re Arielle got sore bum again n I don't no if its from teething which she is at moi or food allergy as she recently tried scrambled egg n cheese.. jus little bits but we going docs on Thursday to have her weighed so il mention it to him.. shes fine with in herself thou.

Nicola I too think ur good news is coming very soon n il continue to pray for u.

Im sending u both love n hugs. X x x

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

I forgot to say I took Arielle to stay & play at the same clinic right near my flat. It was for under 5's and all the other kids looked about age 2, 3, 4 so Arielle was the youngest n it was a bit overwhelming n scary going on my own. There was one other mum with a 1yr old daughter n she was very friendly n talked to me so that helped. They did refreshments there for the kids n songs n and story time so I think it was good for Elle that we went coz usually its just me and her in the day at home alot so mayb il try go back another time xx

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Hi Both,

I'm ok thanks, still nothing from the hospital. It was 8 weeks on Monday and they have said up to 12...I will be ringing them when it gets close to 11 weeks if I haven't heard anything.

Glad the weigh in went ok though and hopefully now you won't worry so much when you have to go to the monthly ones. It's good you went to the stay and play too and we're able to meet other mummies.

I have my reflexology next week and I've ordered some fertility crystals - I want to feel fully prepaid for once we've had our hospital appointment, I'm keeping my fingers crossed it comes through for sometime this month. Just want to be able to focus on trying again and not just waiting around. I've got a baby shower this weekend and I was really hoping I would be pregnant when it got planned in December - I didn't know I was pregnant then and would lose it so hoping I feel ok when I'm there on Saturday. I'm making the cake too so need to be there.

Hope you are both doing ok? Butterfly1 - gave you managed to do any housework yet or are you still cuddling Jack? :D xx

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Hi Nicola, sorry for taking long to reply. I'm sorry to hear ur still waiting to hear from hospital about ur appointment must be so frustrating for u. That's a good idea to ring them when u have been waiting 11 weeks but hopefully ul get ur appointment through before then.

Thanks n yea I just hope Arielle's keeps going up as much as doctors n hv think are healthy enough for her.

That sounds great idea re fertility crystals. I believe in spiritual things n crystals. I've even had ann angel reading done before with my twin sis n both of ours were right about stuff n the lady told my sis she was pregnant which she was with her now 2& half yr old daughter n at the time she had only known for couple days n wasn't showing as was only few weeks gone.

Yeah of course you want to try start ttc again. . n u really hope you can very soon.

Oh really a baby shower. .. that sounds like it will be tough for you to go to. Only go id u can handle it n wen ue there just try to think how the next baby shower u go to will be ur own :)

Oh I'm so sorry I just realised coz iv taken so long to reply u must of already been to the baby shower. I hope u were ok as much as u could be.

Ur turn is so coming very soon :)

Thanks I think it's good to try get Arielle to groups when I can. I took her to baby group on Monday morning for under 1's which was good for her to be around other babies. She is so active moving around alot n really trying to crawl.

Iv found it really tough last few days well more so at the weekend coz iv been up with her so much in the night so im not getting much sleep where she's either waking up crying n wanting a cuddle or she's just moving around her cot n even if I wanted her to she won't sleep with me in my bed coz she never has done. Only when she was tiny sometimes shed fall asleep on me. It's probably good in long run. Shel sleep in my arms but then u can't sleep. So I have to rock her back to sleep n put her back in her cot.

I think she's been getting over tired as she hadn't been napping much in the day either. So I think all that added to me feeling down at weekend n I couldn't help crying.. I don't know where it all came from.. I tried to explain to my bf to just sometimes find things really hard n feel really lonely too.

I'm starting to feel much more better this week. Iv started bathing Arielle every night where I only use to twice a week n iv got a sensory night light which puts different coloured stars on wall n celling n plays soothing music for half hr n if baby wakes up crying it comes on. So hopefully it will work. Its helped her to sleep the first night n I only had to get up once for her so im hopefully it keep working n iv started to use sling to help her nap in the day if I need to.

On Friday it would of been when my first baby I was pregnant with would of been age 2.. think mayb that has been on my mind too. Me n my bf are going to light a candle.

My 18 yr old nephew who is my twin sis boy who lives at uni is coming on Friday for the day n staying over n I didn't realise the date but hopefully it be a good thing to distract me.

Nicola I hope ur ok & Butterfly I hope ur ok too n that lil Jack is doing well n ur getting some sleep.

Sending hugs to you both. X x x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Hi Toni,

That's ok, I know you are busy and I haven't been on for a few days as we had some bad news this week. My husbands brother committed suicide on Tuesday evening, it's been absolutely horrendous. My husband fell out with his brother a long time ago because his brother was into drugs, drink etc and we got a call Tuesday night to ask him to go around and sit with his Mum. I won't go into detail but it took place at their house where he was staying with a two year old there (his sisters boy) my husband has been there pretty much day and night since as his Mum just isn't coping well at all. They had him on life support which they had to turn off Wednesday morning and he passed shortly after.

Still no update from the hospital, it's 10 weeks Monday so I'll give it a week and then I'll give them a call. My friend who was seen there got her letter around 10 weeks for an appointment 4 weeks after that.

The baby shower last week was ok actually and there was only one moment I got a bit upset but no one saw so it was ok.

I hope you are doing ok today with the date and it's lovely you can light a candle tonight and just look at Arielle and see why you had to go through all that you did.

I like the sound of the sensory light too, I could do with one of those :D

I'm enjoying having my crystals, I was supposed to have reflexology on Wednesday but I cancelled it with all that was going on so hopefully I can book in for that again. I have a mini spa with a friend tomorrow which will be nice to get out and relax, I'm trying to be here to support my husband and make sure he is eating and sleeping but he said I should go out for a few hours tomorrow and try to relax.

Xx

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Hi Nicola,

I am so sorry to hear about ur husbands brother.. That is so sad & heartbreaking to hear. It must be even more painfull for ur husband being that you said he fell out with his brother. Life is so sad like that & I understand how you can fall out with family members especially where drugs n drinking is involved as I haven't spoken to my eldest sis for 14 yrs for different reasons but she's always drunk too much.

It's so hard to loose someone you love & harder to deal with when it's suicide.... (I lost my cousin to suicide when I was in my 20s & he was only 26 so I know how hard it is to deal with)

But I can't imagine what ur husband is going through & you & his family.. To loose a brother like that. I'm deeply sorry for you guys. I'm not surprised ur husband mum is not coping well.. I hope ur all going to get through this... I'll pray for you all.

Well done with ur friends baby shower.. I'm glad u were able to cope as it can't of been easy.

I really hope u get ur appointment through soon... hopefully this week.

Thank you... Friday wasn't too bad n I was busy most of the day & I had my 18 yr old nephew come up in the afternoon to stay was nice to have him stay over. Me n my bf lit a candle for our baby n said a little pray was sad but nice too & ur right even thou I still find it sad of course I'm happy to have Arielle.

Yea the sensory light is good n works sometimes but Arielle still wakes up a lot is exhausting.. I was up for 3 hrs with her last night is so hard n we had baby group at 10.30am but I didn't go as was too tired to go. I'm going to have to start going to bed earlier to get more sleep if she's going to wake up. Its just taking time for her to he use to her big cot.

I'm glad ur crystals help you... I'm not surprise u couldn't go to ur reflexology.. There's always next time.

That's nice of ur hubby n I'm sure he knows how much ur there for him. I can't imagine how hard it is for you both.. Its so sad n must still be a huge shock.

How was ur spa weekend with ur friend? I hope u were able to relax n enjoy it.

My backs really hurting last two days so iv been icing it... I think iv just over done things at home n from lifting Arielle n coz iv been bathing her every night to help her sleep.

Sending you hugs Nicola n I'm thinking of u and ur hubby n praying for u both. Xxx

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Thanks Toni,

We are doing ok. I'm worried about my husband as he's there such a lot trying to support them and I just worry it will all be to much for him. Just hope once the funeral has happened then things start to get better. It's so difficult to deal with as you just don't have answers and you are angry at them for doing it but sad to because they felt it was the only option.

My spa day was lovely: I am really glad I went as it took my mind of things for a while and helped me to relax. I have booked in for reflexology tonight too. My husband isn't at home so I thought I might as well. I've been cooking most nights so my husband has good to come home too and he's taking it over to family too.

I am not good on little sleep so I would definitely have to go to bed earlier if I was getting up in the night: my poor dog was sick on our bed the other night so I was up changing bedsheets, I thought this is what it will be like when we eventually have a baby.

I hope your back gets better soon too. It's not nice having back acne at all. Xx

Butterfly1
Posts: 115
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2016 5:13 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Butterfly1 »

Hi ladies,

I'm sorry I haven't been on here for a while but our internet has been broken again :(

I am so so sorry to read what you have experienced Nicola. My thoughts are with you and your husband and your families. It must have been a terrible shock and your husband must have a lot of mixed emotions to process. I am sure once the funeral has taken place things will start to slowly get better. I think before that you feel a bit in limbo and are dealing with so many emotions :(

I am glad you have recently enjoyed a spa day with your friend- the timing couldn't have been better after all you have been through. I hope the reflexology the other night was good. Are you also having acupuncture? The fertility crystals sound really positive and good too. Have you received your appointment yet as it must be close to 11 weeks now?

Toni I am glad to read you are feeling better. There is nothing worse then sleep deprivation. Hopefully Arielle has started to sleep better for you. How old is Arielle now? I have read that babies sleep can become more challenging around 8 months due to their development but it is supposed to improve again soon so hang in there (easier said then done I know, especially at 3 in the morning when you still haven't slept and your partner is laying next to you snoring!!).
How is your back now? I hope it is improving. Are you able to find any time for warm baths to try and help with the back pain. Mine aches from bending over changing all the nappies but I can imagine its much harder when they are older as on top of the bending over they are much heavier to carry !! Take care of yourself.


All good here although Jack will only settle if cuddled (hubby blames me for that!!) so the house is a mess and dinner is often late :wink: !!!

Take care and hope you are both ok xx

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Hi Butterfly1, lovely to hear from you.

Still nothing appointment wise - it will be 11 weeks Monday so if I haven't heard anything by the end of next week I will be giving them a call and having a good old moan. I'm still having the reflexology as I find it so relaxing. I knocked the acupuncture on the head as I wasn't feeling any benefit and I thought so many people get pregnant without it so am having a few months of from it. Might go back once I get the all clear again.

Jack sounds so cute and he will only want cuddles for so long so enjoy it whilst it lasts. The dinners and the house can definitely wait :D

We have had 3 house viewings this week so I am hoping we get an offer and have some good news as it seems to all be bad at the moment, be nice to have that this month and maybe a pregnancy next- worked out if I did conceive next month my due date would be our wedding anniversary. Just hope the break has done me some good if nothing is found. Xx

Butterfly1
Posts: 115
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2016 5:13 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Butterfly1 »

Ohh Good luck with the house Nicola. Hopefully you will receive a good offer Monday morning ! You know what they say- new house, new baby!

I'm sure the break will have done some good. How perfect it would be if you conceived next month! I have a good feeling......

Take care xx

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Hi Ladies,

We sold our house!!! Couldn't be happier and it was the good news we needed after the nightmare few weeks we have had. Chain isn't long either so we could be in as early as July. I have been told new house new baby so keep your fingers crossed for me although I did call the hospital yesterday and said I hadn't heard anything yet and it was 12 weeks on Monday. They have said only two of my results are Bach and it could be another 6-8 weeks before an appointment is even generated and then another month before I get seen so we've decided to try in the meantime because I can't wait another 3 months. It's been nearly 6 since the miscarriage in January. If something does go wrong again they have assured me I will get any tissue tested and they will monitor me with two weekly scans up until 12 weeks so feel like we might as well - it may not even happen straight away anyway. An anniversary baby would be lovely though.

Hope you are both doing ok? Xx

Butterfly1
Posts: 115
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2016 5:13 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Butterfly1 »

Yay !! Congratulations on the sale of your house, that is great news!

That is so frustrating that it could take another three months for an appointment but I am so happy and relieved to hear the hospital will support and monitor your pregnancy should you conceive in the meantime. I would absolutely start trying again :D . I have a really good feeling :wink: Does it feel like it is all falling into place now? I hope so. No one deserves it more than you and your husband.

Have fun trying !!

Jack and I have everything crossed!!!

Toni I hope you are ok.

xx

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Thanks @butterfly1. My AF is due this weekend so will start trying after that as I know if I do get pregnant they will at least support that whilst the results are pending. I'm guessing they are expecting them all to come back ok but I won't take anything for granted.

At least I feel like I'm somewhat in control again now and of course I will keep you both updated. Xx

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Hey Girls, sorry for late reply.. I been meaning to reply but been busy... Don't get as much time to come on here especially as Arielle is so active, she started crawling a few days ago and just has so much energy.

Nicola Congratulations on the sale of ur house :) that is fab news. This defiantly must be the start of positive things to come for you after all you have been through you deserve happier times.

I'm glad you were able to enjoy your spa weekend with your friend.. You defiantly needed it with all your hard times you have been having. I hope you and your hubby are OK what with everything that has been happening. I hope once you go to the funeral it will help you to be able to grieve and focus on your futures together more.. But I know when you loose a loved one it's not that easy and it takes time to deal with it.

I can not believe you haven't had ur appointment yet n they are saying i t could take 3 more months for all ur results to come. I defiantly agree and can see why you and your hubby are going to start TTC again now especially with the hospital telling you theyl monitor your next preg. I will keep praying for you that this will be ur lucky rainbow baby on his or her way which I truly believe it is. Wow that would be double celebration if you have your baby on your anniversary date.

I hope you and your hubby are doing OK n able to support each other. I'm sure ur good news on ur HSE sale has lifted your spirits I hope.

Butterfly how are you? I hope you are doing well and that your lil baby Jack is well. How's it all going? I hope you are getting rest and sleep which I know is hard to do. Cuddles are def better than HSE work.

I wish I could chill more re HSE work cause I can be a bit ocd about it.. Iv always been like it. My back is not as bad now thank you.. Iv got a bad foot now lol I don't know what happened to it as I don't remember hurting.. It just aches a lot so I just ice it wen I get chance.

Other than that I'm OK just busy looking after Arielle n I been taking her to baby groups n under 5groups when I can.

Sleep deprivation is the worst... Some nights she sleeps through n other nights like last night I'm up with her for a couple hrs in the night.. Plus she's teething n has been for a while. I just have to try go bed earlier when I can to try get more sleep.

I hope both you ladies are enjoying the weather.. I can't believe how hot it's been. It was nice to take Arielle to the park other day. I did feel bit loner as I could see other people with babies n kids in groups. But Arielle enjoyed it was main thing.

Nicola I'll say a big prayer for you tonight n I too have heard about new home n new baby :)

Sending love n hugs to you both. X x x

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Hey, just realised I didn't reply to ur earlier msgs. Butterfly Arielle is 7 months old now.. Really I didn't know that about when babies are 8 months old but I have heard that when they are learning a new skill for their development like crawling they will wake up more so I think its that along with Elle's teething that makes her wake up plus she's still getting use to her cot I think.
Sorry to hear u have been getting backache too... I hope you get help with napy changing from your hubby.

I usually have to have quick baths or showers n have Arielle in same room as me so I sing nursery rhymes to her. X x x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Hi Toni,

Thanks - we are really excited about the new house. We should be in for the beginning of August so that will be good.

Hope you are both enjoying the bank holiday weekend. It's so lovely and sunny. I do think the sunshine makes everything feel better.

Glad Arielle is enjoying her groups and you are getting out. Do you plan to go back to work? I vaguely remember you saying you didn't want to?

Butterfly1 - hope you are doing ok and enjoying this lovely weather with Jack. Xx

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