Coping with ectopic due date

[Jesska555]

Hello,
I just wondered how other people coped when their ectopic due date was approaching? My first baby (ectopic) would of been due December 22nd and all weekend I have been feeling so emotional! I have been coping well over the last 6 months but it has suddenly just hit me that my baby would of been born in a month! How do I overcome this date? I'm worried I'm going to ruin Xmas for the people around me. I really thought I would be pregnant again by now and could focus on that but unfortunately it's not happened : ( any advice welcomed xx

[EPT Host 20]

Dear Jesska555,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
I can truly relate to your feelings and many women who have experienced ectopic pregnancy find dates such as due dates and anniversary's very difficult to deal with.
It is very normal to struggle around these special dates. It has been 6 years since my ectopic pregnancy and I still get very emotional around the time of the anniversary.
My friends and family, although well-meaning, have never truly understood how I've felt and I found great support from reaching out to the Trust. Here I found that my feelings were normal and gained support from women who really did understand how I felt.
In time I have learnt to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn't my fault, above all I have learnt that I will never forget my pregnancy and baby.
If you are worried about Christmas and you feel you are able, discuss your emotions with family, it maybe that they have unintentionally forgotten that it is your due date and by reminding them gently you may find an added support network at this time.
Give yourself the time and space you need to grieve.
We are all here for you,

Sending much love,
Karen x


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[Keeponhoping]

Hi, I know the feeling, my due date for my ectopic is the 7th of December, and I'm beginning to feel quite angry and sad about it, then I'll have another due date approaching on the 9th of April, as had a recent blighted ovum too, 2016 has been a terrible year for me. I don't have any advice to overcome these feelings, just wanted to say you're not alone just know what it's like. Just trying to stay as positive as I can and will fall pregnant when it's meant to happen and the same will happen for you too. I have worn myself out with longing to be pregnant again, I'm having a bit of break from it and start again in the new year, so scared of going through a third loss, so if I don't try it can't happen, then when we do start trying again and if I'm lucky enough to fall pregnant I will not do early pregnancy testing or scans as none of it changes a good or bad outcome anyway. I had really faint lines on my test with my ectopic, with my blighted ovum the test lines were so strong and therefore thought had to be a sticky one, was wrong again so that proves to forget doing endless early testing! And wasting money!

The people around you will understand that it will be a hard time for you, think it's important to just let your emotions out the way they need to and you need to. Think when my due date in December is here, I will light a candle and also sing a song which meant an awful lot to me at the time, I find singing really gets my emotions out and makes me feel better.

Hope you're doing ok, sending love and hugs. X x P.s. sorry for the ramble! X x

[Jesska555]

Thanks ladies, it is nice to know you're not alone.
I will just have to try and stay positive.
I know what u mean about getting warn out ttc, I have such hope every month and am devastated every time af comes, it is very exhausting!!
I know when the time is right we will concieve I just hope it's sooner than later!
I have reminded family about the due date so hopefully they will be able to support me over Xmas, luckily my oh is absolutely amazing!
It's also nice to know I can speak to people on here that understand my feelings completely : ) x

[sian123]

Hi,

This is the first reply I've posted on here. I hope I can offer you as much support as the many ladies who helped me.

I am undergoing counselling to help me come t terms with my ectopic pregnancy, which happened in July this year. An idea I had to help me was to light a candle or release a lantern on my due date as tribute to my baby.

I think it's completely normal to be a motional around that time, as you're probably wondering about what 'could've been'

Hope this helps a little bit. Sending big hugs your way on the 22nd

Sian xx

[TommieBoland]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Today was actually my due date and I can tell you it was tough. Luckily (or unluckily however you want to look at it) I was able to spend most of the day with my family. Being surrounded by people who loved me really helped and not sitting around my house crying all day. It hit me in the evening so I went online and bought a memorial Christmas ornament to help me honor them.

Overall, I just have to have hope that I will get pregnant again soon. Hopefully we will all have success stories to tell soon enough.

[tryingtoheal]

Sending you lots of warm hugs! I know exactly how you're feeling, my due date was Dec. 13 and I too was counting on being pregnant again by now but besides a chemical pregnancy last cycle I haven't managed to get pregnant. At this point I honestly just want to skip Christmas. I haven't really done anything yet in memory of our baby so I think I'm going to do something on my due date. Hopefully you get your rainbow soon