Nearly three yrs ago I was experiencing bleeding and severe pain. I went to the doctors who dismissed me as have period pain and sent me on my way. I put up with this pain for another 2 days then I felt so bad I took myself to accident and emergency at my local hospital. They put the pain down to having appendicitis and sent me home with painkillers. Next day at home I collapsed on the floor in a heap couldn't move vomiting, fever, basically felt like I was being stabbed from the inside out. Ambulance arrived no IV access due to my body being in shut down mode taken to hospital none the wiser. Waited 6hrs to be put onto a medical assessment ward was then I found out I was actually pregnant but it was ectopic.
No support no nothing.
Last thing I remember was blue lights and a lot of very worried nurses.
After a day I woke up in intensive care I learnt that I had emergency surgery as my ep ruptured. I was lucky to be alive. I was in hospital for over a week developed pneumonia aswell and had no idea what was to come when I was discharged.
Then came the letters the forms the sign here to indicate that if it is found that you were over 16weeks you will be having a funeral form. I prayed and prayed to God I wouldn't be but I wasn't so lucky.
Then the follow up appointments with all the pregnant people around looking so happy. I hated every moment of those so much so I didn't/ couldnt bring myself to attend I got as far as the door and ran away in tears. I couldn't bring myself to be sat there feeling the way I did around so many happy mums.
Instead I concentrated on the funeral May 16th 2014 even tho my loss was 22nd April. The waiting was the worst thing ever still to this day there has been no follow up support no nothing I think it's cruel if I wasn't in the right state of mind I don't think I would have coped but I tend to just block it out most days as it's easier.
I really wish there was more support as if it wasn't for the fact of my children I wouldn't have survived through this ordeal. It should be made compulsory to give people help and support after going through something like this it's horrible. I'm not in any way back to normal and I don't think I ever will be but I have had to learn to not hate myself for going through this. I didn't have any support whatsoever.
Thanks for reading my story x
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Living with grief of ep after nearly three years
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Darkangel666
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:26 am
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Darkangel666
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:26 am
Re: Living with grief of ep after nearly three years
Forgot to state I was continuously bleeding for seven weeks prior to ep and doctors were not remotely concerned got sent for menopause test. I am on blood thinners and in total lost 6ooml and had a blood transfusion
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EPT Host 20
- Posts: 3166
- Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm
Re: Living with grief of ep after nearly three years
Dear Darkangel666,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
Thank you for turning to the Trust for support. It breaks my heart reading your post as I received very little emotional support following my ectopic pregnancy and two years later I too reached out to the Trust and here received the support I needed.
I was advised to see my GP to discuss counselling and I wonder too if this would benefit yourself.
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it's treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense. Following counselling I learnt that although I will never forget my baby, I learnt to accept what had happened and crucially understand that it wasn't my fault. Please understand that the ectopic pregnancy and tragic loss of your baby wasn't your fault.
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask me any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling.
We have information on our website about finding counselling services
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
Sending much love,
Karen x
**********************************************************************************************
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at http://www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
**********************************************************************************************
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
Thank you for turning to the Trust for support. It breaks my heart reading your post as I received very little emotional support following my ectopic pregnancy and two years later I too reached out to the Trust and here received the support I needed.
I was advised to see my GP to discuss counselling and I wonder too if this would benefit yourself.
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it's treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense. Following counselling I learnt that although I will never forget my baby, I learnt to accept what had happened and crucially understand that it wasn't my fault. Please understand that the ectopic pregnancy and tragic loss of your baby wasn't your fault.
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask me any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling.
We have information on our website about finding counselling services
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
Sending much love,
Karen x
**********************************************************************************************
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at http://www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
**********************************************************************************************
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Darkangel666
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:26 am
Re: Living with grief of ep after nearly three years
Hi Karen thanks for the reply unfortunately my GPS surgery are rubbish I can't even get an appointment with them. I don't mind emailing to talk about things as I find writing helps me. I try to stay strong because of my children but I don't know how long I can do that for just wish that the hospitals would put something more permanent into place after this type of ordeal rather than fob you off as it where. And have a centre solely for people experiencing the same things not throw everyone together.
I wish that these type of forums where advertised more than they are
to add to my ordeal I had a medical negligence claim against my local hospital for their lack of care so I couldn't really let things lie till that was over and done with.
Now just to try rebuild myself back to my normal self again could take a while
I wish that these type of forums where advertised more than they are
to add to my ordeal I had a medical negligence claim against my local hospital for their lack of care so I couldn't really let things lie till that was over and done with.
Now just to try rebuild myself back to my normal self again could take a while
