Hi all,
I've never posted to a forum before. My names Hayley, I'm 24. My partners name is Jack, he's 28 and has a 5 year old daughter from a previous relationship.
Jack and I were trying to get pregnant for around 4 months, then on Christmas day I was rushed to hospital as I was bleeding. The doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong, then a week or so later, I went to the doctors and we found out we were pregnant, we were so happy, the docs handed Jack the pregnancy test and showed him, we were both scared but so excited, I Burst into tears of joy instantly. Then the doctor told us that we may be losing the baby. Tests and tests later, we were told that we were going through an eptopic pregnancy.
We tried the expectant management which didn't work, so they gave me the medication, which was emotional and physically draining. So many different types of pain. We got a call today saying the medication hasn't worked and they want me to go back in the morning for another dose of the treatment.
Jack and I feel so exhausted. I feel like crying ALL the time. I just wondered how every body copes with their pain and heartache? People keep saying, you'll get pregnant and have another baby. But all I can think about is, "I wanted that pregnancy, I wanted that baby". It just feels so lonely, like nobody understands.
Sorry for babbling, I guess typing is easier than saying it out loud if that makes sense
X
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How do we cope?
-
EPT Host 22
- Posts: 662
- Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2015 10:26 am
Re: How do we cope?
Hi HayleyandJack,
It’s heartbreaking to hear that you have suffered an ectopic pregnancy and loss. You have gone through so much in a short time, and it is natural to have all of the emotions to match. These boards are full of women and men who have been through similar and I hope you will know that you are not alone in what you are experiencing.
You have been through both a physical and emotional trauma, and these are still very early days. It’s extremely important to look after yourself and each other right now. You will be grieving. Your partner will also be grieving. Often these can look different. It is very important to keep your communication open. Sometimes, a journal might help you to record your thoughts and feelings, so that you are able to share them when you are ready.
Our friends and family know that we’ve been through a devastating event and they want to support and to help. Unfortunately, as they have not been through it, it is often hard to know how to find the right words. They do not want to see us sad, but sometimes the phrases they use do not sit right.
Please be patient with yourself and give yourself the time to heal. Take all the time you need. There is no set time for which to move through these emotions, and every woman and couple go through at their own pace. As well, If you think it may help, we can certainly arrange to speak to you about what you have been through and be a shoulder to lean on. My colleagues and I have also experienced ectopic pregnancy and understand how heartbreaking it is. You can ask any questions or simply tell us about the horrible time you have been through. You can also look at counseling services and emotional recovery support on our website under Patients/Emotional recovery.
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis (you pay what you can afford) or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too:
http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
These boards are a safe space for you and are here whenever and as long as you need.
With good wishes,
Michele
***********************************************************************************************
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at http://www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
***********************************************************************************************
It’s heartbreaking to hear that you have suffered an ectopic pregnancy and loss. You have gone through so much in a short time, and it is natural to have all of the emotions to match. These boards are full of women and men who have been through similar and I hope you will know that you are not alone in what you are experiencing.
You have been through both a physical and emotional trauma, and these are still very early days. It’s extremely important to look after yourself and each other right now. You will be grieving. Your partner will also be grieving. Often these can look different. It is very important to keep your communication open. Sometimes, a journal might help you to record your thoughts and feelings, so that you are able to share them when you are ready.
Our friends and family know that we’ve been through a devastating event and they want to support and to help. Unfortunately, as they have not been through it, it is often hard to know how to find the right words. They do not want to see us sad, but sometimes the phrases they use do not sit right.
Please be patient with yourself and give yourself the time to heal. Take all the time you need. There is no set time for which to move through these emotions, and every woman and couple go through at their own pace. As well, If you think it may help, we can certainly arrange to speak to you about what you have been through and be a shoulder to lean on. My colleagues and I have also experienced ectopic pregnancy and understand how heartbreaking it is. You can ask any questions or simply tell us about the horrible time you have been through. You can also look at counseling services and emotional recovery support on our website under Patients/Emotional recovery.
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis (you pay what you can afford) or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too:
http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
These boards are a safe space for you and are here whenever and as long as you need.
With good wishes,
Michele
***********************************************************************************************
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at http://www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
***********************************************************************************************
Re: How do we cope?
Hi Hayley and Jack
Me and my partner went through it too. We were told our pregnancy was ectopic (mid December) exactly a week after we found out we were pregnant. It's such a difficult time as we hadn't even told parents we were expecting and then you had to tell them the good and bad news in the same sentence!
My second dose of medication worked but endured Complications anyway through what ever reasons. I'll of had my surgery 3 weeks ago on Tuesday and it does get better. We're looking into booking a holiday to focus on something other than what has happened. And with every do you do feel better and you do start to come to terms with what you've actually gone through.
As for family and friends just let it go over your head. I had plenty of "you were lucky I know someone blah blah blah" not what you want to hear but people think that's a way of making you feel better.
Chin up and try and think to the future xx
Me and my partner went through it too. We were told our pregnancy was ectopic (mid December) exactly a week after we found out we were pregnant. It's such a difficult time as we hadn't even told parents we were expecting and then you had to tell them the good and bad news in the same sentence!
My second dose of medication worked but endured Complications anyway through what ever reasons. I'll of had my surgery 3 weeks ago on Tuesday and it does get better. We're looking into booking a holiday to focus on something other than what has happened. And with every do you do feel better and you do start to come to terms with what you've actually gone through.
As for family and friends just let it go over your head. I had plenty of "you were lucky I know someone blah blah blah" not what you want to hear but people think that's a way of making you feel better.
Chin up and try and think to the future xx
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HayleyandJack
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2017 4:11 pm
Re: How do we cope?
Thanks for your replies. I had my 2nd injection a few days ago, but now the doctors are unsure as to whether or not the treatment is working. So I have to wait until Thursday for them to test my levels again. All in all a completely exhausting process 
.
The holiday sounds like a good idea.
We are trying to look forward and plan for future pregnancies, I just worry that there will be problems again.
Xx
.The holiday sounds like a good idea.
We are trying to look forward and plan for future pregnancies, I just worry that there will be problems again.
Xx
