Going back to work

[Upbeat753]

Hi, I was wondering when ppl went back to work.

I had my keyhole surgery operation bout four weeks ago. Still got a bit of pain. I was 7 weeks pregnant. Went for scan got told I had miscarried. Got bloods done they were going up. Had bleeding and pain. I ended up in a and e in agony. After a scan the pregnancy had ruptured had to get op.

I don't know if I am emotionally ready to go back to work. I'm a very happy person normally and I know if I go back and in not ppl will ask questions. Any advice appreciated x x

[Laura123b]

I was quite lucky, my surgery was 2 weeks before the Christmas break. I had those two weeks and the 2 week break for Christmas so when I went back everyone was so preoccupied with catching up I didn't have to suffer too many questions.

Just take whatever time you need, if you don't feel ready - you're obviously not ready. At the same time it may help to try to get back to normal. Do you not have anyone at work that you can confide in and ask them to spread the word not to ask too many questions?

[EPT Host 20]

Dear Upbeat753,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with.

You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body's signals and pain and feeling tired are your body's signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.

In general, after six weeks you should be able to return to most jobs from a physical point of view, but many women need to take more time off to help them deal with the psychological (emotional) impact of the loss of their baby and the frightening experience they felt being diagnosed with and treated for an ectopic pregnancy. Please do not hesitate to contact your GP to ask for further time off work if needed.

We are all here here for you for as long as you need,
Sending much love,
Karen x

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[Amyg1]

Dear upbeat753.

Sorry for your loss.

I went back to work after 2 weeks. I felt fine physically and most days I am fine emotionally. I have days now when something will upset me and I am now 9 weeks post op.

I think being at work distracted me and nobody really asked to many questions.

Everyone is different and you have to go back when you are ready.

Amy

[Virgo]

I'm in the same boat. Had surgery a week and 2 days ago (laparoscopy and left tube removed)...planning to go back to work in 5 days. Physically I get better everyday but emotionally I just can't describe what a wreck I am...This was my first pregnancy...To make things worse I'm a primary school teacher. Everyone had been asking what happened to me. Afraid to face people. Hope I will not cry if someone asks me how am I. Aways loved my job but now I'm even considering quitting! Professionals encourage me to go back to work. Can't see how my job can help me in my recovery. The job is stressful and seeing all those children and thinking I might never have mine makes it even worse!

[lisa_28]

Hi,

I am also a teacher (but secondary) and when I went back to work after my ectopic in May 2016 I had exactly the same feelings. My head was great and let me come back slowly- I did one lesson a day for a few days before going in full time. It was hard the first time I saw each class as they asked questions but I just changed the subject and they quickly forgot I had been away (I missed most of a half term). I saw a councillor at my hospital for about 6 months and I found this really helped. I went into a long period of avoiding social situations as I found baby talk etc so differcult to deal with- talking about these feelings with her really helped me. I just wanted to share what helped me as the feelings you describe are exactly how I have felt.

I have since been blessed with a baby which I had started to think would never happen (I had a miscarriage prior to the ectopic). Returning to school was the start of a long journey for me and I remember driving home from work crying most days but it very slowly started to get easier and I am testament to the fact it can happen. Sorry for rambling on. Sending love x

[More2come]

I didnt have surgery. I was treated with methotrexate. I took 2 weeks off as well. I was so worried people would ask lots of questions. I was ready with a generic answer. Noone knew why i called out 2 weeks in a row. So my coworkers just asked if I was ok. I said yes and we all just kept on moving doing our work. You are probably thinking it will be worse that it will be. Best of luck

[Virgo]

Thanks for your replies I ended up going to work...this has been my third day. I am doing quite well. Have a lovely class but I feel so sad when I come back home. Always crying and having a headache. Can't stop thinking about having another ectopic in my remaining tube or never having children...can't stop thinking about harmful adhesions that could form...how can I teach children when I can never have my own? If a child holds my hand I'm heartbroken thinking how I wish it was mine...will I ever be able to have mine? I really don't know how I can carry on not only at work but in life in general!

[More2come]

I goggles success after ectopic, bfp after ectopic, etc and seen that many women went on the have successful pregnancies after ectopic. Thay gave me hope although i dis spend time ask myself and my doctor those same question you ask yourself. My ectopic was treated in Aug. I have not yet been given the all clear to try again. After my cycle (hoping comes by oct 29th) i can start trying again.
Hope others stories can give you hope. Statistics are on your side for conceiving again.

[More2come]

Look at Lisa's store a few comments back. She had ectopic in may 2016 and has already had a baby. Most concieve (80ish percent) within 2 yrs

[Virgo]

Thank you dear. I really wish you a bfp xxxx i have to wait for 5 more weeks for a follow up maybe then I can ask the questions and feel better. I hope so....

[princess pink]

Sorry for all u ladies have been through on here... Please don't give up.. I had a miscarriage in October 14, then a ectopic /miscarriage (doctors weren't sure which one it was) in March 15 & then in October 16 I gave birth to my healthy daughter at 42 wks pregnant n she's just had her 1st baby. She was my 3rd time lucky rainbow miracle baby girl. I really started to think I would never have a healthy baby but I was lucky to at age 39 have my daughter (2 months before me n my bf turned 40 yrs old) please don't give up hope. It can happen for u too. X x

[princess pink]

I meant she just had her 1st birthday on 15th October 17 x