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3 years tomorrow since my ectopic

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sallytomo
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu May 28, 2020 12:52 pm

3 years tomorrow since my ectopic

Post by sallytomo »

Hi everyone. Glad to have found this board, but sorry that any of us need it!

Tomorrow is 3 years since my ectopic pregnancy. It was found fairly early, and was successfully treated with methotrexate. Grateful to have avoided surgery, but gosh methotrexate hits you like a train!!

Just feeling sad about what happened to us; this was loss #6, and we have had 2 since. We also lost our son in June 2015, so the next few weeks hold particularly difficult memories for us.

I am just struggling with what is coming, and it makes it harder that my husband's son has his birthday on Tuesday - 3 years since I had to have the methotrexate injection. The jealousy can sometimes be all consuming, and I feel so incredibly guilty for it.

Just wanted to talk to somebody who understands more than anything. Baby loss is hard, whatever stage or circumstance, and I just needed to get this out.

xxx

Brill88
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Sep 10, 2019 3:03 am

Re: 3 years tomorrow since my ectopic

Post by Brill88 »

Sorry to hear that you have had such a hard time, feelings really do hit hard at the most unusual times too. We will be 1 year since surgery on 6th September. We are both finding it hard and we have struggled to bond since.
Thinking of you

cbm5125
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu May 28, 2020 2:29 am

Re: 3 years tomorrow since my ectopic

Post by cbm5125 »

I really feel for you. When the day comes back around (and on many other days)... it hurts like [heck]. Sending you love.

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: 3 years tomorrow since my ectopic

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear sallytomo,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
Although the pain does get a little easier with time, the memories can be just as hard, especially around anniversaries. Tomorrow marks ten years since my ectopic pregnancy and I am still incredibly sad when I think about our loss.

You are not alone in feeling this way and these posts always hit home for me. Thank you so much for having the courage to talk about how you feel and contacting the Trust. I too suffered in silence following my ectopic pregnancy. It took me two years to be honest and face my feelings and like you, I reached out to the Trust. I found comfort in reading other people's posts. People understood how I felt and I didn't feel so alone. I was also advised that although my feelings, like yours were completely normal, hanging onto those feelings does not help us recover. I went for counselling as advised, and in time learnt that we will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn't our fault.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and I will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.

Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x


The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
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During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
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Fertility-tales
Posts: 36
Joined: Thu Mar 29, 2018 9:33 pm

Re: 3 years tomorrow since my ectopic

Post by Fertility-tales »

I’m so sorry to hear this and for your losses. Sending hugs and strength to help you get through this time x

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