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I’ve been meaning to come on and share what’s happened to me it’s been horrendous and pretty hard to come to terms with!
I found out I was pregnant end of feb this year me and my fiancée were over the moon. At first everything was normal sore boobs then about 6 weeks gone I started spotting blood And pain on my right side not too severe I was taken Into hospital and given an internal scan where they seen the sac in my womb they also seen something in my right tube but assumed it was just a cyst and sent me home. That night I started bleeding heavily and passed large tissue this was confirmed as a miscarriage we were gutted but tried to get on with things.
2 weeks later I was in agony with stomach pains and was rushed into hospital (alone my fiancée wasn’t allowed in at all due to covid) where they discovered my HGV levels were still really high I was scanned and they could see something in my right tube and some free fluid first consultant I seen stated I had to go for surgery in morning,
Morning comes I see a different consultant she says it’s near impossible for it to be an ectopic she described a heterotopic pregnancy which is twins one in the womb and one in the tube but she said it’s far to rare and she didn’t want to take me straight to surgery because it was likely a cyst, 3 days passed before they took me into surgery and I was told afterwards that it had been a heterotopic pregnancy the sad thing about that is in a lot of cases the one in the womb survives but I lost both my babies they also removed my right tube I was sent home the next day with no after care and no blood checks etc.
5 weeks later in the middle of May I was rushed back into hospital in agony again my fiancée was left standing outside the ambulance whilst I was rushed away sirens blazing the doctors discovered I was pregnant and sent me straight for a scan in this scan there was 6 medical staff a specialist a consultant , a doctor and 2 midwives all in total disbelief as they gave me the bad news that nothing was in my womb and That in the previous op they left part of my tube in and that either tissue had been left and grew and ruptured or I had a fresh ectopic pregnancy in the stump left over, they told me I was going straight to surgery the specialist said this was impossible yet here I was alone and it was happening to me one midwife who I will remember for the rest of my life took my hand during that scan and she stayed with me right until my surgery comforting me crying with me.
The surgery was a success and I received amazing aftercare I was back and fourth to the hospital for blood tests and the staff were amazing. Sadly the trauma hit me big time I never slept for 5 days after the surgery and began having panic attacks for the first time.
2 weeks ago I get a phone call from the head of the hospital asking me if I understood what had happened to me I said yes I had a heterotopic pregnancy then either a fresh ectopic or left behind tissue in the part of tube they had Left behind. She said no you didn’t have a heterotopic I don’t see that in the notes that’s far too rare it was prob just a blood clot you passed from the womb!!!!!!! The tissue was verified by midwives as a baby she then proceeded to argue it with me and completely changed the story of what happened to me even though she never once seen me!
I’m left with not a clue how many babies I have lost I know for a fact I had a heterotopic but no one has told me if it was another fresh ectopic it’s so frustrating
I’m 5 weeks post op and Im still quite up
And down no period yet and I am absolutely terrified at the thought of getting pregnant again.
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancies and losses. To experience one loss is difficult to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you, especially in such a short time frame.
Less than 1% are heterotopic pregnancies, so yes they are rare, but we have heard from ladies on the forums who have sadly experienced them as well.
I can completely understand you being confused from what you have been told whilst you were in hospital and the following telephone call. I understand you having questions about what happened. When you are ready, I would advise getting in contact with the Patient Advice Liaison Service (PALS) within the hospital you received your treatment who will be able to review your notes and any documented scans and discuss all of this with you.
Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with.
You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body's signals and pain and feeling tired are your body's signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.
After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women find that they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and symptoms can include anxiety and not being able to focus on everyday things like work. There are a number of avenues that you could look into to get the help that you need.
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.
It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We experience a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget but we can learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process that might be weeks or months ahead. In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes.
Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.
As a gentle reminder regarding conceiving again, we and many medical professionals advise waiting for two menstrual cycles. It is important to allow time for your body to recover and emotions to surface and be worked through. This is so that you have some comfort that your body is returning to its natural rhythm and you have a last menstrual period date from which to date a new pregnancy - key information in checking you are not suffering from an ectopic pregnancy in the future. The first bleed soon after surgery for ectopic pregnancy is not classed as a period as it is the body's response to falling hormone levels.
Above all be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally. We will be here for you for as long as you need,
Sending much love and warm hugs,
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.
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