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Scared to try but scared to wait?

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geerudd96
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Jul 15, 2020 10:07 pm

Scared to try but scared to wait?

Post by geerudd96 »

Hi everyone,
Unfortunately i have just experienced an ectopic pregnancy. I found out last week I was pregnant which was very strange as I just had my period & using contraception.
I went to hosp with pain and bleeding and hours later was in theatre. Being a midwife myself I am awfully scared I won’t have children. I am only 24 but the dr said to me ‘don’t wait too long’ what does that mean? I now only have one tube which appears healthy to the dr.
I am off work for a couple of weeks but I am so nervous to go back - congratulating couples (who I am thrilled for) but also wishing this was me?
The doctors were fab in the hospital but it all happened so quickly I didn’t ask all my questions. How long should I wait until trying?
Although I wasn’t planning on having a baby yet I feel my fertility is like a ticking time bomb and I shouldn’t wait? Does anyone else feel this way. I’m scared to try but then I’m scared to not try. Unsure how I’m meant to feel -

BSaunders1993
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2020 4:11 pm

Re: Scared to try but scared to wait?

Post by BSaunders1993 »

Hey,

I saw your post and it really caught my eye. I hope I can help and give you some of the answers you want as I find myself in a similar situation.

I found out I was pregnant (my first pregnancy) on 12th June. On the 30th it was a confirmed ectopic and I was in surgery within a few hours having my right tube removed. Everything happened so quickly that finding out I was going to become a mum never really kicked in. Me and my partner only actively started trying 3 weeks prior to finding out. I'm not the healthiest of people, I didn't have a break from contraception for 10 years and have other health complications so to find out it happened so quickly was an absolute shock to the system!

I'm only 26 and I also feel that my body clock is ticking and sometimes the fear that I'm not ever going to be able to have children plays on my mind. I've done a lot of research and spoken to a few people. You still have a high chance of conception and I know telling you this might not help right now as it's all a bit soon and truthfully these worries still come into my head but you are not alone and there is still a BIG chance it can/will happen.

Only a week and a half after the procedure I was back to work and like you I have a similar career. I work in a private pregnancy clinic. How you are feeling is normal. I find myself drifting off into my own world asking "why couldnt this be me?" Or "why did my pregnancy have to go wrong?" I'm happy for the couples but sometimes it's hard to show positivity and enthusiasm especially after experiencing something like this. I personally think I went back to soon but me as a person I like to pick myself up as quick as I can. The best advice I can give is to take your time. Dont force yourself into anything you arent ready for.

When it comes to trying again professionals say to wait for two menstrual periods, so all in all 3 months. You try again when you are emotionally and physically ready.

I think the doctor made a passing comment and didnt mean anything by it. I want to try again as soon as possible but at the same time if I fall pregnant again I know im going to be extremely anxious and fear the worst of history repeating itself which again is a normal feeling to have. None can tell you how to feel, I've noticed that it all comes in waves. One day I'm completely fine and the next I can have a really down day.

I hope this helps a little. I honestly wish you all the best and time is a healer xxx

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