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What next? A lot of anger and confusion.

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BSaunders1993
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2020 4:11 pm

What next? A lot of anger and confusion.

Post by BSaunders1993 »

Hi everyone,

It's been 4 weeks since I had my right tube removed and physically I'm feeling a lot better than I did. Unfortunately I cant say the same for the emotional/mental pain. I feel like I'm driving my partner, family and friends insane with how upset I am. I'm constantly looking for a reason as to why this happened. I dont feel at peace/cant accept "it just happens" or its "bad luck".

I've been thinking this morning and something just clicked. (This may contain a lot of TMI) but I'm so desperate for help and advice. The care I received in the hospital was appalling and the after care is nonexistent.

Since the age of 14 I have been quite prone to urine infections. As I got older some of them resulted into being admitted into hospital as this would spread into my kidneys. The Drs put it down to bad bacteria due to intercourse. I actually cant remember the last time I went to the doctors and I've had an ok urine sample with no trace of infection! Unfortunately at 23 I caught chlamydia. I found out as soon as the other person got their result and had it treated straight away. A while back I had a dominant smell to my urine and discharge, as a results I called the doctors and had some tests along with internal examinations and surprise, surprise I never heard back. This has recently started happening again and I dont doubt its going to be the last. I am suspecting PID and I know this can cause ectopic pregnancies.

I'm concerned that if this is the case my remaining tube has no hope. I feel like I'm destined not to have kids. Everytime I'm out with my friends I look at myself as a statistic. Everyone can carry their babies or have had children but I'm the one who isnt "normal" I hate my body at the moment and all my other health complications. I dont know if theres any services out there that can help me but I'm so angry and just want to understand what the [heck] is going on with body?

Sorry for the rant but I feel so alone and just dont know what to do next. I want to contact my GP on monday but I'm so hesitant as I feel really let down by the NHS at the moment. :(

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: What next? A lot of anger and confusion.

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear BSaunders1993,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss and for the lack of support you have received.
It generally takes us around 3 months to start processing a traumatic event, you are still in the early days of recovery and your feelings are completely normal.
If the bad days start to outweigh the good however, we at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

I would speak to your GP surgery about your emotions and symptoms of offensive urine and vaginal discharge. If you find you get an unsupportive GP, you can always ask to speak to another within the surgery.

Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.

Sending you much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
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During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
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