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I can’t get over it

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kaygill
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2020 5:04 pm

I can’t get over it

Post by kaygill »

I recently had an ectopic pregnancy in May 2020. I am 23 years old and it was the worst experience of my life. I was rushed into surgery and had my left fallopian tube removed. They said everything looks great in there i still have bother ovaries and my right tube. But here it is July, and I still think about my loss every single day. I randomly have crying sessions about it. It’s like there’s this huge knot in my stomach and i feel loss and heartbreak. It was so heartbreaking. Is this normal to not be over it yet?? I thought I was okay, but I’m truly not.

Sanwars2206
Posts: 38
Joined: Mon May 25, 2020 11:14 am

Re: I can’t get over it

Post by Sanwars2206 »

Hi Kaygill

I had my 2nd ectopic removed with my left tube in April.
I still cry almost everyday & am nowhere near being ‘over it’.
You’re feelings are your feelings & we have to go with them there is no set time when things will get better.
There is no aftercare for ectopics either which I think makes it so hard.

Take everyday as it comes & don’t punish urself or put timers on urself it’s hard enough.

X

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: I can’t get over it

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear kaygill,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with. It generally takes around 3 months to start to process traumatic events, your feelings at this stage are completely normal.

Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.


If however, the bad days start to outweigh the good, we at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn't our fault.

Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
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During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
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