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Should I go for counselling?

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Mimiema
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Jul 15, 2020 4:25 pm

Should I go for counselling?

Post by Mimiema »

I’m 2/3 weeks post ectopic pregnancy (unplanned but wanted pregnancy) at 5+4 weeks. It was initially treated with methotrexate but had more pain when discharged so ended up going for laparoscopic surgery later in the week. The tube was removed.

I returned to work today as a midwife. I found myself ok with seeing patients (although I didn’t feel like my head was in it- struggled to concentrate but it was a quiet shift). However, seeing two pregnant members of staff in my area talking about maternity uniforms really upset me. I didn’t expect this at all.

I don’t know if I’m back at work too soon, if I need to speak to someone or if this is just normal. I’m finding myself upset about the whole situation as well as other aspects of my life. I experienced really awful depression in the past linked with my job and finding that I’m thinking about those feelings more and just hating myself and my life generally. Anyone else felt like this afterwards? I don’t know if I need counselling, more time off or to just get on with it. My mood is so up and down right now. I’m also getting pain on the opposite side to the ectopic. Is this ovulation pain or something else? I’m definitely not pregnant.

Sorry, my head feels a mess right now and I don’t know what’s normal and what isn’t.

Lost_in_emotions
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Jul 20, 2020 7:12 am

Re: Should I go for counselling?

Post by Lost_in_emotions »

Sorry to hear what happened to you. I am also 3weeks post salpingectomy for an ectopic at 5wks, and also a midwife who went back to work this week. Unplanned pregnancy here also (have two kids already).
My head has been all over the place, the first week I was an absolute mess, and cried constantly. I am in a better place now and glad to have some normality back in my life again.

The pin could be ovulation, I read it can be more painful following an ectopic... it’s a worry not knowing what is going on in there. I’m worried about bleeding at the moment. Had a week following surgery then nothing for another week then a day of bleeding, now 8days clear of nothing and started again today. Also had HCG checked again yesterday as consultant who caught me on shift said she wanted to make sure everything had gone.

Counselling could be a good route for you to go down although it’s still very early and fresh. Maybe some more time off work? For me I needed to get back but we all respond so differently

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: Should I go for counselling?

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear Mimiema
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
I in no way ever tell people what they should be doing, but you have returned to work quite soon after the ordeal of your ectopic pregnancy.
We often need a little longer to process what has happened and that can mean longer off work. Especially so in the job that you are doing.

Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with.
You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body's signals and pain and feeling tired are your body's signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.
After six weeks you should be able to return to most jobs from a physical point of view, but many women need to take more time off to help them deal with the psychological (emotional) impact of the loss of their baby and the frightening experience they felt being diagnosed with and treated for an ectopic pregnancy.

It generally takes about 3 months to start to process a traumatic event and you are still in the very early stages of your recovery. Do speak to your GP if you feel you need further time off for the emotional impact of recovery from surgery and loosing your baby.
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services. If you belong to a union, they may also have counselling services and this can often be accessed quicker than any NHS services.

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

Above all please be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally

Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
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Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
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