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Do I tell my other children?

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Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2020 9:23 am

Do I tell my other children?

Post by sammy86 »

I was feeling very unwell and thought I had an infection. A few days ago it got terrible and I felt awful. I went alone to A & E and hours later had a scan and then into surgery for a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. I didn't know I was pregnant, they removed my right fallopian... my boyfriend has a 12 year old boy and I have an 8 year old. He has been struggling with how to deal with me and the stress at times he seems resentful. I am pretty traumatized and struggling physically and emotionally.. we had told the kids I was unwell and needed surgery to make me better. I don't know if we should give them more clarity, do we tell our other children why I had surgery?

EPT Host 20
Posts: 2012
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 9:58 pm

Re: Do I tell my other children?

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear sammy86,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it's treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
Every family is different, but if your children are worried about you, you could explain in simple terms what happened.
I too found that my family and friends didn't truly understand how I felt and didn't quite know how to react around me. Keep an open dialogue with your boyfriend and you could show him posts on here to help him understand how you feel.
You will need space to process what has happened and it can feel isolating. With us here at the Trust, we have been through similar experiences and I can understand how lonely it feels. You have friends here and please do continue to lean on us for as long as you need.
Sending much love,
Karen x

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