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3 and half Years and still grieving

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emmat1981
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2017 11:51 pm

3 and half Years and still grieving

Post by emmat1981 »

I don’t know what to do !! I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy and died twice due to the amount of blood I lost and I am still grieving I still feel numb I cannot find enjoyment in my everyday life, tired all the time crying at anything and also still asking the question why it happened and cannot seem to forgive myself can anyone help me? Please.

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: 3 and half Years and still grieving

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear emma,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. From your words, I can imagine how frightening the experience must have been and I am sorry you had to go though this.

Thank you so much for having the courage to talk about how you feel and contacting the Trust. Posts like these always touch me as I too suffered in silence following my ectopic pregnancy. It took me two years to be honest and face my feelings and like you, I reached out to the Trust. I found comfort in reading other people's posts. People understood how I felt and I didn't feel so alone. I was also advised that although my feelings, like yours were completely normal, hanging onto those feelings does not help us recover. I went for counselling as advised, and in time learnt that we will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn't our fault.

After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women find that they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and symptoms can include anxiety and not being able to focus on everyday things like work. There are a number of avenues that you could look into to get the help that you need and I cannot recommend counselling enough.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

I know that when I had my ectopic pregnancy I also looked for a reason and almost automatically we tend to blame ourselves. From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame. Please be kind to yourself and I send you gentle hugs,

We will be here for as long as you need,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
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During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
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Araappjumpr
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2021 5:36 am

Re: 3 and half Years and still grieving

Post by Araappjumpr »

Thank you for sharing. I am 5 months after my ectopic pregnancy and like you I almost died. It also destroyed my marriage as my husband would not face the grief he was dealing and still is dealing with. I cry most days and just feel like I lost so much. Being that I am almost 35 I feel like my window has closed for a second child. My daughter is 16. It just feels like my last chance slipped away. I don’t know how to deal with the emotional pain. Being a single mom having the funds for a Councelor is out of the question. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s a pain I don’t know if it will ever go away. Much love from SC

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