What a year! My husband and I had been trying to conceive for 5 years. After all the tests we were told we have no fertility problems, just unlucky to not conceive yet but it will happen in time. Jan 2020 arrived and we decided to start Clomid to help and it worked straight away! Couldn't believe it, our luck had changed! But not for long.
At 8 weeks I had pain and bleeding so went to the EPAC. Miscarriage. I was so upset but we decided to look at this little blip as a good sign - we were able to get pregnant and it will happen again.
And it did, a couple of months go by and I am pregnant again. We are over the moon and this time all seems well, until the 12 week ultrasound scan arrives and I'm told there was no heartbeat and the baby had only grown to about 9 weeks. I was in shock. I had never even heard of a missed miscarriage before and now I have to have an operation to remove my baby from my body. I was heartbroken, how did I not notice anything? I was carrying my dead baby for 3 weeks and didn't even know.
We gave ourselves a few months to just be together before trying again. Then in November of 2020, after we passed the babies due date, we started trying again and the Clomid worked its magic.
It felt different this time though. I couldn't get excited and every little ache and pain got me anxious. I wanted to ask for help, especially as I noticed the pain was to one side but I talked myself down, not wanting to be the annoying over-reacting woman who panicked over every tiny niggle just because I missed the signs last time, however, when I started to bleed I decided it was time to go back to EPAC. The right tube had ruptured and was removed.
I'm losing all hope that my husband and I will ever have a family of our own.
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Losing hope
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NovemberRain
- Posts: 22
- Joined: Mon Nov 30, 2020 2:19 am
Re: Losing hope
Louise0908
Your story is heartbreaking. What you've had to endure, particularly 3 losses in the last year or so is more than any woman should have to suffer in a lifetime.
My story is a bit different. I was in my 30s when I met my hubby and over 35 when we got married and started trying. It took around 16 months to conceive our daughter who is 1 now. Our second pregnancy happened much quicker, on the 5th cycle of trying but it was ectopic. I had surgery to remove my left tube in November, just short of 6 weeks into the pregnancy. It was detected prior to rupture.
We are trying again but having experienced a loss, it's hard for me, like you, to be positive all the time. We just have to do our best to fight the fear, stop it from taking over and keep believing that our happy ending will come.
Apologies that I don't have any other words of wisdom. I don't have personal experience of Clomid.
Thinking and praying that everything will work out for you next time!
Take care xx
Your story is heartbreaking. What you've had to endure, particularly 3 losses in the last year or so is more than any woman should have to suffer in a lifetime.
My story is a bit different. I was in my 30s when I met my hubby and over 35 when we got married and started trying. It took around 16 months to conceive our daughter who is 1 now. Our second pregnancy happened much quicker, on the 5th cycle of trying but it was ectopic. I had surgery to remove my left tube in November, just short of 6 weeks into the pregnancy. It was detected prior to rupture.
We are trying again but having experienced a loss, it's hard for me, like you, to be positive all the time. We just have to do our best to fight the fear, stop it from taking over and keep believing that our happy ending will come.
Apologies that I don't have any other words of wisdom. I don't have personal experience of Clomid.
Thinking and praying that everything will work out for you next time!
Take care xx
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EPT Host 20
- Posts: 3166
- Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm
Re: Losing hope
Dear Louise,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and losses. To experience one loss is difficult, to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.
It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We generally feel a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget, but we learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process that might be weeks or months ahead.
In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes.
Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.
There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn't our fault.
There is also a specific Trying to Conceive board for you to look at whenever you feel ready.
Above all be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve, to both physically and emotionally. We will be here for as long as you need.
Sending much love,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
**************************************************************************
During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
***************************************************************************
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and losses. To experience one loss is difficult, to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.
It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We generally feel a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget, but we learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process that might be weeks or months ahead.
In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes.
Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.
There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn't our fault.
There is also a specific Trying to Conceive board for you to look at whenever you feel ready.
Above all be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve, to both physically and emotionally. We will be here for as long as you need.
Sending much love,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
**************************************************************************
During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
***************************************************************************
