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Heart is broken...
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- Posts: 424
- Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 10:11 pm
Re: Heart is broken...
Toni - I will add you on Facebook. Typically I've given it up for lent because I was seeing pregnant announcement after pregnancy announcement so decided a break would do me good. I've also given up chocolate - crazy I know.
With the scratch being a trial I was put into one of two groups so one group gets the actual scratch and the other gets a placebo but I don't know which. I've not had any after effects either so just got to hope I did get it.
I hope your dream is right and it's me sharing good news with you all soon.
Glad to hear Arielle is ok and I bet it's such an exciting time now that she is starting to interact, it's good you are getting out too.
Butterfly1 - I can't believe you are due next month. Please keep us updated every step of the way I'll be think of you and waiting to hear baby has arrived safely and then you can keep us posted on the joys of motherhood.
I'm sure I'll be asking lots of advice from you both when it's my turn and all through pregnancy.
I have some final blood tests on Monday and then we've been told we can TTC again. I'm scared and excited at the same time. I feel I have good support from the hospital this time which really helps and I feel mentally and physically positive at the moment.
Speak soon. Xx
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- Posts: 896
- Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm
Re: Heart is broken...
I hope everyone is doing ok.
Nicola I understand u not wanting to see pregnancy anouncements on fb.. I was the same before. Oh wow that is determination giving it up and chocolate too. That I would find really hard to give up... so wel done for doing it. Kool just add me on fb when ur ready to go back on it.
Oh I see.. well I hope u did get the scratch even though uv had no side effects. Surely there's still a chance u could of still got it.
When will u know if u got the scratch?
Me too I hope my dream was right n I'm really sure ul be sharing good news with us any day now
Thank u Yea its good Arielle is doing well n its lovely to see the changes in her. She is a right cheeky baby n has started to keep pulling her bib over her face. . She likes the feel of the material so im having to keep pulling it bk down.She ddoesn't understand that she shouldn't do it.. I get worried coz of her breathing. Im trying to put a bib less on her bit reason she wears one alot is she's always dribbling. . and her clothes get really wet from it. I think its coz she's been teething a bit but not to point she's in lotsa pain.
Yea its good to get out sometimes when I can. It just takes longer with Elle. My sister n baby niece visited on Fri n my bruv came over on Saturday. My friend should be coming over tomo.
I can't believe Elle will be 5 months old on March 15th only 9 days away. Going to start weaning her slowly wen she's 5 months old. .. starting with baby rice.
She's starting sleeping through the night some nights is good so she can go a long stretch with out a feed n then I feed her just before she goes to sleep wen she's awake altho some morning's I have to wake her to feed her n some nights I get her u in the night to feed her while she's asleep. Like other night she had last eaten about 9am n was still sleeping so I got her up n fed her while she slept at 2am n put her back to sleep. She's feeding ok but she's still a small petit baby.
Me n my bf Dave are going to Wales on Thursday eve until Sunday to see his family. So his mum n other sis n other niece can meet Arielle. Glad for him n Arielle to see family but im dreading the 5 hr train journey n all the stuff will have to take n staying in his family homes for few days with Elle. I hope it ain't stress n that I can feel more at ease this time about sharing Arielle with his family n not feel stressed like I did wen his other sis n niece came to stay with us for few days.
I understand why he wants to go now coz his mum has been ill for a long time with Dementia so he wants to see her while shel still hopefully know who he is n for him to meet her grand daughter.
I have Arielle most nights now instead of her dad having her in front room coz I told him I want her to get in more of a routine n she's started sleeping longer through nite wen with me.
She's still in a moses basket so we are going to get her cot ordered this week.
Nicola we will be happy to give u advice throughout ur pregnancy n wen u have ur lil baby. Im always asking friends for advice n my sis but most of them say they don't remember coz their kids are all big or grown up now.
I hope ur blood tests go ok today n thsts brill news u can start to ttc again. Fingers crossed for u this month
Its great u feel positive n have support from the hospital n u always have our support here... We are with u ever step of the way.
I hope u are doing ok. X x x
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- Posts: 424
- Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 10:11 pm
Re: Heart is broken...
Well it's been an eventful day. I had 18 vials of blood taken and got to 15 and had to ask her to stop as I thought I was going to faint, managed to get the other 3 from the other arm when I felt better. My husband has one too but he fainted and kept fitting and wasn't coming around properly for ages which was really scary, never seen him like that. Luckily he's ok now, took him home and he's gone to bed for a sleep. He looked so poorly and I had to drive back from the hospital (which was fine) I feel ok now and was fine pretty much straight after...it didn't help that they were fasted blood tests and we had to wait in the maternity unit for them all. I'm back at work now but keep messaging my husband as I just want to knows he's ok. Good job he doesn't need anymore. I'm ok giving blood but even 18 was a little too much for me. They have said it will be 12 weeks before we get our blood results back.
I will definitely add you on Facebook when I'm back on - I'm trying to stay off it until April, the break is doing me good although I think I deserve chocolate after today but think I'll have some sweets instead.
I can't find out about the scratch until September and I'm hoping I'll be pregnant by then but I would like to know either way if I got it.
I can't believe Arielle is nearly 5 months that's crazy. Will you continue to breastfeed whilst weaning or do you go straight into that?
That's nice you are going to Wales, although I agree it's a long journey especially with a baby and all the stuff you need to take. Hopefully you will feel ok once you are there and Arielle won't feel unsettled being somewhere new.
Will you try and settle her in her own room when you get a cot? Hopefully she will get used to it quickly.
Hope everyone else is doing ok.
Nicola xx
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- Posts: 896
- Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm
Re: Heart is broken...
I hope u are preg before yr blood tests com back.
Oh I see September is quite far away for scratch results. .. im sure u will be preg before September thou... fingers crossed for u n il keep praying for u.
Yea I know it's gone fast Arielle being nearly 5 months old. At moi I only mainly breast feed her in morning n then she has bottles rest of day. I will continue to breast feed her n bottle feed her wen I ween her as il araet slowwwith just baby rice n then eventually as she eats more food il cut down her bottles. Don't know when il stop her breast feeds completely.
Thanks we are going Wales this morning n im dreading the journey iv packed most stuff n ita so much but I need her things n the steriliser.
Thanks I hope she settles too. I hope it goes better than last time sharing Elle with Daves family. .. I don't know why I find it so hard to.. I think coz its just ne b Elle most time n I have her every night now as trying to get her in routine n she's sleeping through the night most nights now from about midnight after last feed usually but sometimes she won't sleep till about 1am but still sleeps through the night. I feel bad waking her this morning to feed her early as usually she would still be asleep bit longer.
No il keep her in her cot when we get it in our room until she's bit older maybe a yr old she can have her own room then.
I hope ur ok n I hope you other ladies are ok. X x x
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- Posts: 424
- Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 10:11 pm
Re: Heart is broken...
I hope you have a nice time in Wales, I'm sure one you're there and settled you will all be fine. Hope the journey was ok too.
I've not had a great week. Woke up in the night and turned over and think I've torn a muscle in my neck. I couldn't move it at all this morning and had to call work to say I wouldn't be in as I couldnt look left or right to even drive. Pain has eased up a little but I think that's the strong painkillers. Not looking forward to seeing how bad it is in the morning.
We are staying positive about trying again and I know if something happens again we have the support of the hospital and they will test any tissue so if that's something wrong with chromosomes then we will find out. Hopefully nothing will be found and it's just one of those things
Hope Kate and Butterfly1 are doing ok too? Xx
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- Posts: 170
- Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 9:40 am
Re: Heart is broken...
We had to attend a wedding yesterday , 10 days after the baby was removed, my husband's sister got married, i shouldn't have gone really as i got so drunk, i thought drinking alcohol would help but just ended up really drunk and in tears, feel so embarrassed about that and don't know how to feel ok about me crying, just want to put a bag over my head! X x
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- Posts: 170
- Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 9:40 am
Re: Heart is broken...
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- Posts: 424
- Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 10:11 pm
Re: Heart is broken...
I did wonder if you might have been and you were trying to get past the 12 week mark which is totally understandable. Seems as you will go down the same process as me then with the blood testing etc. We have been referred to the NHS RMC in our local hospital, however, we've discussed going privately next time if things go wrong again because the hospital have no compassion and the wait between appointments and for blood results etc is so lengthy each time. We've been told it will be 12 weeks before we get any results from our blood tests.
I really hope you get some answers and you can go into your next pregnancy with a little hope that things will be ok. I really am so sorry to hear this.
Don't worry about what people think - you need to grieve and people will understand. Have you had some time off work?
I'm thinking of you and we are here to chat whenever you need to. We all understand and I wish I could give you a hug xx
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- Posts: 170
- Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 9:40 am
Re: Heart is broken...
The baby has been sent to Bristol and the private clinic we've chosen is in Surrey, bit of a trek but i need to do this now, my Hospital is hopeless, and i just don't have the patience to let them mess around with this.
I'm drained i really am. I don't know what to think or feel. X x
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- Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2016 6:13 pm
Re: Heart is broken...
princess- I hope the journey wasn't too bad and that you are having a nice time in Wales.
Nicola, I hope your neck is better. I know how painful that can be! I cant believe it is going to take 12 weeks for your blood results to come back and why did they need to take so much?!! All the waiting for results is awful but come September and the scratch results I am confident you will be pregnant. Keep positive.
Keeponhoping- I am so sorry to read what you have been through. It devastating and I can only imagine the scan pictures offer a mixture of emotions which must be hard to process. I hope you have a lot of family/friend support around you. You was very brave to go to the wedding so soon after what you and your partner had been through. Please do not feel embarrassed about getting drunk- I think that is a very understandable response. I hope you get the answers you want and need.
Take care everyone. I am thinking of you. xx
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- Posts: 170
- Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 9:40 am
Re: Heart is broken...
I phone the clinic tomorrow to make our first appointment. I just hope at some point we will get our happy ending, got to try and get some positivity back, cant lose it now, we will not give up, those that give up are the ones who fail, I'm sure I'll feel a bit better once we have a date for the clinic, something to work towards. X x
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- Posts: 424
- Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 10:11 pm
Re: Heart is broken...
A friend of mine has recently had her test results come back for inherited sticky blood after losing 3 pregnancies, she is now hopefully going to be given injections in her next pregnancy and they hope she will go on to have a normal pregnancy.
There really is hope so don't give up. You are doing all you can having the tests done privately. Take the time you need to grieve and I promise it does get better.
I would highly recommended acupuncture and or reflexology. I think they have really helped me rebalance after my losses and I find the talking to someone a bit therapeutic. My acupuncture lady gave me some herbs after my last lass as they helped rebuild the womb and promote blood flow and she said my energy is better than it's been the whole time she knows me...anything that helps you relax is definitely a good thing.
Butterfly1 - I know. 12 weeks is ridiculous just to get results from some blood tests, I then have to get an appointment at the clinic so only knows how long that will take. Hope you are doing ok and getting ready to have your previous bundle in your arms soon. I'll be excitedly awaiting your news next month. Xx
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- Posts: 170
- Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 9:40 am
Re: Heart is broken...
This loss for me has been the hardest as the baby made it so far this time, the PUL and blighted ovum losses weren't as difficult as i never saw the baby with either of those, but this one is in a league of it's own! However i knew things we're going to go wrong with this one, something wasn't right even though it made it to over 10 weeks, i still held myself back from getting attached as i knew it would end, it was the Hospital who get your hopes up saying you've done it this time. X x
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- Posts: 424
- Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 10:11 pm
Re: Heart is broken...
I hope you get some answer when you go to the clinic. Let us know what they say today when you speak to them. It will all work out. I know it's so hard to think like that at the moment but it will, like you say, don't give up.
We have just been given the all clear to start trying again, it's so scary now though because I feel in allowing myself to open up to the fact that it could all go wrong again and I feel like I'm in a good place at the moment and with no definitive answers at the moment as to why we have had the losses I don't know how I feel about it all. My husband just says we will be fine next time. It's tough.
Xx
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Re: Heart is broken...
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- Posts: 424
- Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 10:11 pm
Re: Heart is broken...
I guess going privately you will get your results much quicker though and hopefully a better follow up and care plan. Have you managed to speak to them and get booked in? I know part of me wants something to be found so it can be fixed but then of course I don't want something to be wrong.
Take Care xx
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- Posts: 170
- Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 9:40 am
Re: Heart is broken...
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- Posts: 424
- Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 10:11 pm
Re: Heart is broken...
Its probably only one or two cycles in the scheme of things and you would have to wait at least one anyway but at least this way you are hopefully getting some answers. How is your husband doing?
I can't believe I have to wait 12 weeks for my results. Well 11 now as it was a week ago. It's so frustrating. Xx
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- Posts: 170
- Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 9:40 am
Re: Heart is broken...
He's been really supportive but both feeling fed up with this keep happening and the lack of support from our Hospital. He's very quiet and not sure what to make of it all really! Nor do I, there is no guidance from the NHS whatsoever! Hope your husband is doing ok.
So do you have to wait for these results to come back to get the all clear to try again so you know what you're dealing with if anything?
It's times like this I wish I lived nearer to you so we could have a good chat! My family are not the most supportive, never have been really, luckily my husband's family is! Difficult to talk to friends as noone i know has been through this so feel quite lonely with it all really. X x
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- Posts: 424
- Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 10:11 pm
Re: Heart is broken...
My husband is ok, he's always saying he just wants to know I'm ok so I imagine it's the same for your husband. They feel like they have to be strong for you don't they?!
Sorry to beat you don't have the support of your family, I'm lucky that my Mum and Sister are so supportive, however, they don't know what it's like and sometimes I just need to be alone and have a cry.
A friend of my mums has had 3 miscarriages and is going through the same process I am (she's the one who has been diagnosed with inherited sticky blood) so as sad as it is we've been able to speak to each other: all my other friends who have been through struggles are now pregnant and just don't ask me any more which upsets me.
It is a shame we don't live closer isn't it. It would be good to have a proper chat. This might sound silly but my husband brought me an adult colouring book and it's really helped me to switch off from things for a little bit (makes me feel like I'm 5 again) I just found keeping busy helps.
Xx