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My personal journey

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Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2024 1:35 am

My personal journey

Post by SD19 »

I had my IUD removed 4th December, I ended up calling 111 on the 9th Dec as I was in a lot of pain and on off bleed. On the 19th December I filled an online consultation form for my own GP who are meant to reply within 5 days of the form being submitted, as the pains were getting worse. On 24th December I had this sharp intense stabbing pain and started to bleed. After calling 111 they advised me to go to A&E. When I was first triaged at A&E they asked me several time if I was pregnant, and I replied with no as I didn’t see how I could be. I consented for them to do a pregnancy test which come back positive. I was then taken up to the women’s health department, this is when they informed me about my pregnancy and that I may be having a miscarriage. They didn’t do any scans. I was sent home bleeding, in pain and shock that I was even pregnant. They gave me an appointment for 29th December at the early pregnancy unit. I am usually quiet good with pain and because it was not as bad as it was on 24th December I just waited for my appointment, even thought I knew I was not well, my husband and family wanted to take me back in as I could not get up off the sofa. On 29th December as I was making my way to my appointment I received a call from my GP as they had reviewed my form and wanted to see me, this was 10 days after I have filled in my form, I declined the appointment as I was already going for my appointment at the hospital. While at my appointment I had two scan, one ultrasound and one internal scan. This confirmed that I was pregnant. However I had a lot of free fluid and was informed that my pregnancy was ectopic and I needed to be admitted for emergency surgery as it had ruptured. Within one and a half hours I was in surgery. They had to removed my left tube due to the damage. I am usually a strong confident girl and this has left me broken. I keep getting really angry with my children. They are only 7 and 3. If they do the smallest thing wrong I’m now shouting at them and I have never shouted at them before. I cry at stupid things. I feel like I’m sleeping but I’m tired all the time and I have a constant twitch in my one eye. I don’t feel like I can go to my GP. I just feel so let down by them. I know there would of been nothing the doctors could of done for my baby but I feel they could of prevent me going through all this trauma if they had seen me earlier. I’m looking for help and support on how do I move forward. As a family we have gone though so much already this year and I want to try and get back to myself for my children and husband.

EPT Host 22
Posts: 668
Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2015 10:26 am

Re: My personal journey

Post by EPT Host 22 »

Hi SD19,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm so very sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. It can be a very confusing time and brings up so many emotions which we may not have expected. You have suffered physical and emotional trauma, and right now, it is so important to look after yourself. There is no standard recovery process, as each of us is unique. However, as you've read, these boards are full of men and women who understand the challenges of ectopic pregnancies.

I can relate to the feeling of not being heard and having an ectopic pregnancy diagnosed at the last minute. In my first ectopic pregnancy, I was certain there was no way I could be pregnant, and I, too, had already ruptured by the time I had surgery.

It's important to remember that there is nothing you did to cause or could have done to stop an ectopic pregnancy. Right now, the most important thing to do is to look after yourself. There is no set recovery or set timeframe for recovery. As every woman is unique, we all process it in different ways. Some days are better, and some days are harder. Over time, the initial feelings may fade, but we don't forget. It's important to take the next steps in your own time. Your well-being is the most important thing right now.

I found that journaling was a way for me to get my thoughts onto paper, helping me to make sense of my emotions and to share them with friends and family. The Trust also believes that talking therapies can be of great help. You may want to speak to your GP for a referral and a look into counselling or to contact your local Mind centres. We can also arrange for you to speak to someone on our helpline at the number below. Many find it of comfort to speak to someone who has been through same thing and we can support you alongside the counseling. You will also find more information for support on our website:

If you feel your care hasn't been as you expected, you may be aware that you can raise any concerns via the Patient Advice and Liaison Service or PALS. You can find your local PALS here and it may be an avenue that can help: ... n-service/

No matter what, we are here for you whenever you need us. Please know you are not alone and take all the time you need to look after yourself and recover. We are here for you whenever you want to talk.

With good wishes,


The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
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