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Remains

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buckley27
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Mar 10, 2024 8:57 am

Remains

Post by buckley27 »

On 13-09-2023 I had my operation to remove my tube and baby, after the operation I had to fill a form in about what I wanted to do with the remains and at the time I didn't want to know about it I was in so much shock so I said for them to be cremated as a group and they would be scattered at the crematorium. I really regret that decision now I wish I had took the ashes home with me I feel like I've not got any closure and like I've neglected my angel baby.

Enfys
Posts: 30
Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2024 8:17 pm

Re: Remains

Post by Enfys »

I am so sorry for your loss and that you are left feeling this way. I can empathise having had surgery this week to remove my tube and pregnancy that the decision and filling forms as you’re being rushed to theatre is all really traumatic and difficult.
Please know you have not let your Angel down. They are still in your heart and you can honour them and remember them in a way that feels right to you.
Sending hugs 🤗

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3193
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: Remains

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear buckly,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy loss. I cannot agree with Enfys more, at the time of surgery, you can have so much to think about in an emergency situation. You really aren't given the time to consider all of your options. From the bottom of my heart, you have done nothing wrong and not let your baby down at all.
If you wanted more information, you could ask the hospital chaplains where the ashes usually get scattered which may give you a space to visit if you wished.
There are many ways in which we can honour our loved ones and our shop also has items like teddy's or candles. You could plant something in a garden, I have a bracelet with a stone for the month I experienced my ectopic pregnancy.
Experiencing ectopic pregnancy can be a completely overwhelming time. You cannot be blamed for decisions made in emergency circumstances, so please be kind to yourself.
We will be here for you for as long as you need,
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
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