For me this whole experience has made
Me feel numb. I can’t seem to process it in a “healthy” way.
It doesn’t seem real. All I keep thinking about is the fact that I could see the heartbeat on the scan and that my hcg levels doubled (sometimes more than doubled). Having been through miscarriages before this is a new experience. The first miscarriage and the second crushed me completely. The third and so on just became like the norm. I think I’ve just come to expect that when I see those two pink lines on the test - surgery is inevitable. For some reason I don’t misscarry like a “normal” person every miscarriage has required a D&C except this one - this one stole one of my tubes aswell. That part is devastating and the fact that I only had a few hours to process the fact they were going to take it was surreal.
I know I had to have the surgery and the words “life threatening” were used because having a “live ectopic” is extremely dangerous. And evidently “it” was so big it meant I couldn’t use the medication route.
I feel like I should be processing this differently. It’s not like I want to be a mess (I’ve been there before), I’m just worried I’m headed for a breakdown or something. Like it’s all going to hit me and destroy me. I have no idea how to process it all. It just doesn’t feel real at all. I know I have the scars but doesn’t feel real I feel like I’ve blocked or I’m blocking it out. I’m 8 weeks post surgery.
Thank you for letting me vent.
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Numb
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Re: Numb
Dear penguin,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy loss and previous losses. Experiencing one loss is difficult, dealing with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes goes out to you.
When we experience ectopic , we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it's treatments, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
For some, an ectopic pregnancy can be a very traumatic experience and it can take up to 3 months to even begin to process traumas such as these, so do not rush through your feelings of feel like you should be feeling better by now.
It is early days on your journey and you may just need time, however if you are feeling low or your down days start to outweigh the good, we at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. You can continue to lean on us in these forums but we also operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling.
We have information on our website about finding counselling services and we have more information here: http://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
If you do decide to consider trying to conceive again and wished too, you could also speak to your GP or medical team about referral for fertility review given that you have sadly experienced multiple losses.
For now, be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve and heal both physically and emotionally.
We will be here for you for as long as you need.
Sending much love,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
The EPT is awarded the PIF TICK as a Trusted Information Creator, the UK-wide quality mark for healthcare information
*************************************************************************
If the information provided here or through the EPT website has helped you, you can donate towards our support services, volunteer, or fundraise to raise awareness.
Further information is available on our website.
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back support line: 020 7733 2653. We are able to provide support in multiple languages including British Sign Language.
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list.
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
*************************************************************************
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy loss and previous losses. Experiencing one loss is difficult, dealing with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes goes out to you.
When we experience ectopic , we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it's treatments, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
For some, an ectopic pregnancy can be a very traumatic experience and it can take up to 3 months to even begin to process traumas such as these, so do not rush through your feelings of feel like you should be feeling better by now.
It is early days on your journey and you may just need time, however if you are feeling low or your down days start to outweigh the good, we at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. You can continue to lean on us in these forums but we also operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling.
We have information on our website about finding counselling services and we have more information here: http://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
If you do decide to consider trying to conceive again and wished too, you could also speak to your GP or medical team about referral for fertility review given that you have sadly experienced multiple losses.
For now, be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve and heal both physically and emotionally.
We will be here for you for as long as you need.
Sending much love,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
The EPT is awarded the PIF TICK as a Trusted Information Creator, the UK-wide quality mark for healthcare information
*************************************************************************
If the information provided here or through the EPT website has helped you, you can donate towards our support services, volunteer, or fundraise to raise awareness.
Further information is available on our website.
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back support line: 020 7733 2653. We are able to provide support in multiple languages including British Sign Language.
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list.
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
*************************************************************************
