Hi all, (apologies in advance for the essay)
So I thought I'd write this, in part to get it out from my head but also as when I was looking for advice after my news and at each stage I struggled to find anyone writing with a similar experience.
I found out I was pregnant at the start of December - roll on the worst December ever! I had taken the morning after pill and since I am not in a relationship I knew I was two weeks in...
Needless to say I freaked out, after a lot of back and forth and support from my best mate I decided to find out more about termination - I'm just not in a position to have a baby and think that when I have my first child finding out should be a happy occasion. I wasn't 100% sure but I wanted it to happen as early as possible if I was going to have a termination, so decided to go for the consultation.
At the consultation scan (22nd December!) The nurse said she couldn't see anything in the womb- she was unsure about something on the left side and referred me to the epu. I had to come back on Christmas Eve for further blood tests and while I was there I had an external scan during which the nurse told me she thought she saw a pregnancy in the womb that was going to miscarry - while this was a worry in thinking about the future I felt almost relieved that it was going to be over, I prepared myself for this potentially happening over Christmas, and they booked me for a further internal scan on 27th to confirm what was happening.
On the 27th it was confirmed that I had a live ectopic in the left tube and I was informed that I would need surgery immediately - this was the first I'd heard about surgery and I was massively in shock!! They were not able to operate until the morning so I was allowed to go home under the condition I call an ambulance immediately if I had any significant pain it was so frightening! Then came the worst part - I hadn't told my mum about being pregnant so I now had to tell her not only that I was pregnant, that I had gone for a termination and now needed emergency surgery - all whilst trying to manage the extreme shock at what was happening.
The surgery went well and thd surgeon assured me that while they had to remove the tube it should not have too significant an impact on my ability to get pregnant in the future.
During my recovery I have had such a mix of feelings... relief that its over, fear that I could have died, guilt over considering a termination and also bizzarely I almost feel thankful that I had as if I had decided to continue with the pregancy I wouldnt have known until the situation was even more serious- knowing me I wouldn't have done anything until the pain was serious and my life may have been in danger. I am also struggling with feeling the loss- a part of me feels I have no right to feel sad about the loss given I was probably going to have a termination. Mainly since all this I've been dealing with some significant anxiety - I've suffered with anxiety and depression in the past and since finding out I was pregnant the anxiety has been crazy I'm hoping I can start getting back on track.
Despite often different situations reading posts on here has helped so thanks all for sharing and I hope that by sharing my experience someone out there may feel less alone in this
Kerry
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Ectopic found when having a termination scan
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Re: Ectopic found when having a termination scan
Hi Kerry,
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm so very sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. It can be a very confusing time, and brings up so many emotions which we may not have expected. You have suffered a physical and emotional trauma, and right now, it is so important to look after yourself. There is no standard recovery process, as each of us is unique, however as you've read these boards are full of men and women who understand the challenges of ectopic pregnancies.
It's important to remember that there is nothing you did to cause or could have done to stop an ectopic pregnancy. On your fertility, the egg from tubeless side can be picked up by other Fallopian tube, and that means that fertility is not halved with having a Fallopian tube removed. Conservative estimates suggest that an egg produced on the tubeless side manages to descend the remaining tube around 15 to 20% of the time. This means that rather than your fertility being halved it has been affected by around 30% or, looking at it another way, it means we have around a 70% opportunity of conception with each menstrual (period) cycle. As well, when you decide to become pregnant, you will have the opportunity to receive early scans (around 6 weeks) through the EPU.
You may want to speak to your GP for referral and a look into counseling or to contact your local Mind centres. We can also arrange for you to speak to someone on our helpline at the number below. Many find it of comfort to speak to someone who has been through same thing and we can support you alongside the counseling. You will also find more information for support on our website: http://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/
Please know that these boards are here for you, any time, to share or to vent for as long as you need.
With good wishes,
Michele
**********************************************************************************************
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at http://www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
**********************************************************************************************
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm so very sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. It can be a very confusing time, and brings up so many emotions which we may not have expected. You have suffered a physical and emotional trauma, and right now, it is so important to look after yourself. There is no standard recovery process, as each of us is unique, however as you've read these boards are full of men and women who understand the challenges of ectopic pregnancies.
It's important to remember that there is nothing you did to cause or could have done to stop an ectopic pregnancy. On your fertility, the egg from tubeless side can be picked up by other Fallopian tube, and that means that fertility is not halved with having a Fallopian tube removed. Conservative estimates suggest that an egg produced on the tubeless side manages to descend the remaining tube around 15 to 20% of the time. This means that rather than your fertility being halved it has been affected by around 30% or, looking at it another way, it means we have around a 70% opportunity of conception with each menstrual (period) cycle. As well, when you decide to become pregnant, you will have the opportunity to receive early scans (around 6 weeks) through the EPU.
You may want to speak to your GP for referral and a look into counseling or to contact your local Mind centres. We can also arrange for you to speak to someone on our helpline at the number below. Many find it of comfort to speak to someone who has been through same thing and we can support you alongside the counseling. You will also find more information for support on our website: http://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/
Please know that these boards are here for you, any time, to share or to vent for as long as you need.
With good wishes,
Michele
**********************************************************************************************
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at http://www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
**********************************************************************************************
