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wtf
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Chell 1990
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:21 am
wtf
On 27th January 2018@ 2.30pm, I found out I was pregnant on the injection. Whilst at work after doing two pregnancy tests I started bleeding a liitle. The next day I was still bleeding so rang 111 and was advised to ring doctors first thing for a scan. I rang doctors at 8am and they booked me in at nearest hospital for a scan at 1.20. The scan didn't take place until one forty and when it did they couldn't find anything. At 2.30pm I was being prepped for surgery for a suspected ectopic pregnancy and was being taken down to theatre at 2.55. I woke at 6 to be told not only was etopuc removed but tube as well. It's been two weeks tomorrow and I don't k ow how to move on, how to change my emotions, how to cope. My partner is more than supportive but it doesn't make it better. He , rightly so, says it will take time, I just want the tears and emotional pain to stop. He is in the army and currently on a course, so I spend the weekdays on my own. I start back at work Wednesday and I'm so worried of people asking me questions and not being able to do my shift and lose my job. I want the baby I lost back but terrified of getting pg again. This third I lost, two misscarriages before and now this, I don't have children. How do I move on from this? What can I do so I can stop crying at my partner and making him worry when he so far away? How do I move on? My brain still drip feeding me information and I don't know how to turn it off or control
Re: wtf
Hi Chell,
I'm new to this too. I don't have words of counsel, but wanted to let you know I'm feeling the exact same way.
I was 12 weeks pregnant on January 17th. My husband took me to my sonogram that day, we were so excited, this was our first pregnancy. We saw our baby on the screen, so healthy and "dancing" around and healthy heartbeat. We cried the best tears of joy. But then it all changed after that, and my whole world broke apart. The longest 24 hours of my life came and went.
Today was my first day back at work, I mentally prepared all last week and told myself I could do this. I got settled in, and spoke with my boss and all was going well, and then I just broke. I had to leave. Now I'm looking for a counselor/therapist online, because I'm clearly not as well as I thought I was going to be.
You know that bell curve of grief? Well I must be at the very bottom of that curve, where it describes emotional outbursts. Had a fight with my husband last night. I was honest that I had lost faith, and was thinking dark thoughts. This scared him and we argued, yelled and cried all night.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this too. It's so different from other loss. And I try to have moments of being grateful for what I have, count my blessings and pray for others who are in pain, but I have selfish moments. I just wanted my baby.
I know I didn't offer any advice, sorry for that. Keep telling yourself that this wasn't your fault. Don't beat yourself up. And just keeping telling your partner you love him, especially when you have no other words.
Take care,
Jade
I'm new to this too. I don't have words of counsel, but wanted to let you know I'm feeling the exact same way.
I was 12 weeks pregnant on January 17th. My husband took me to my sonogram that day, we were so excited, this was our first pregnancy. We saw our baby on the screen, so healthy and "dancing" around and healthy heartbeat. We cried the best tears of joy. But then it all changed after that, and my whole world broke apart. The longest 24 hours of my life came and went.
Today was my first day back at work, I mentally prepared all last week and told myself I could do this. I got settled in, and spoke with my boss and all was going well, and then I just broke. I had to leave. Now I'm looking for a counselor/therapist online, because I'm clearly not as well as I thought I was going to be.
You know that bell curve of grief? Well I must be at the very bottom of that curve, where it describes emotional outbursts. Had a fight with my husband last night. I was honest that I had lost faith, and was thinking dark thoughts. This scared him and we argued, yelled and cried all night.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this too. It's so different from other loss. And I try to have moments of being grateful for what I have, count my blessings and pray for others who are in pain, but I have selfish moments. I just wanted my baby.
I know I didn't offer any advice, sorry for that. Keep telling yourself that this wasn't your fault. Don't beat yourself up. And just keeping telling your partner you love him, especially when you have no other words.
Take care,
Jade
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EPT Host 20
- Posts: 3176
- Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm
Re: wtf
Dear Chell 1990,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it's treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
You are still in the early weeks of recovery and are physically and emotionally needing to heal.
You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body's signals and pain and feeling tired are your body's signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.
With regards to returning to work, in general, after six weeks you should be able to return to most jobs from a physical point of view, but many women need to take more time off to help them deal with the psychological (emotional) impact of the loss of their baby and the frightening experience they felt being diagnosed with and treated for an ectopic pregnancy.
You will need space to process what has happened and it can feel isolating. With us here at the Trust, we have been through similar experiences and I can understand how lonely it feels. You have friends here and please do continue to lean on us for as long as you need.
Sending much love,
Karen x
**********************************************************************************************
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
**********************************************************************************************
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it's treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
You are still in the early weeks of recovery and are physically and emotionally needing to heal.
You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body's signals and pain and feeling tired are your body's signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.
With regards to returning to work, in general, after six weeks you should be able to return to most jobs from a physical point of view, but many women need to take more time off to help them deal with the psychological (emotional) impact of the loss of their baby and the frightening experience they felt being diagnosed with and treated for an ectopic pregnancy.
You will need space to process what has happened and it can feel isolating. With us here at the Trust, we have been through similar experiences and I can understand how lonely it feels. You have friends here and please do continue to lean on us for as long as you need.
Sending much love,
Karen x
**********************************************************************************************
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
**********************************************************************************************
