Coping afterwards

[Janthana83]

Hi there - joined this group as never used anything like this before. I was 7 weeks pregnant, this was going to be our second child (my first is 7 years old and was a healthy, normal pregnancy). We were so excited and told close family and friends (felt that I jinx the whole thing now). Last Saturday I was heavy bleeding and on Sunday had an emergency scan which confirmed I miscarried. We were devastated and was asked to come back on Tuesday to carry out further blood tests. On Tuesday my blood results showed an increase in levels which was abnormal for a miscarriage and wanted to do another internal scan. The doctor found a live ectopic pregnancy in my right follopian tube and was rushed to Stoke Mandeville to go into theatre. I’m now back at home, in a lot of pain and trying to come to terms over the events of this week. My right Fallopian tube was removed but still have my right ovary. They also found my left ovary and tube “sticky” which will make conception more difficult but still possible. Trying to stay positive and my husband, family and friends have been amazing. Just wish I never saw the last scan and saw the baby’s heart beat. The baby I will never get to meet and said hello and goodbye the same day. I’m also scared if we do try again having another ectopic and losing my last working Fallopian tube. So much is going through my head - should I speak to my GP next time before me and my husband consider trying when the time comes? All comments welcome xx

[Bríd]

Hi there, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's am extremely tough time and hard to get your head around. I too suffered an ectopic in December and had my right tube removed with my pregnancy. It's a very hard thing to have to get your head around. For me, I think I went in to survival mode for the first week or so thinking that what had happened could have been so much worse....my 3year old girl could have been left without a mother and my husband without a wife if it hadn't been detected when it was. I think these was my thoughts as everyone kept telling me how lucky I was so I started to believe that's what I was, lucky. Fast forward to 3weeks later and it hit me hard. I felt far from 'lucky Yes I was lucky to be alive but I was far from lucky that I had lost our second baby in 2years (I previously had an early miscarriage in 2015) 2 friends and my sister in law all announced their healthy pregnancies within weeks of my surgery which made the healing process much harder and still does. People think I am obsessed with the idea of getting pregnant again but the truth is it terrifies me. I don't think I'll ever be able to get excited when and if I get a positive pregnancy test again. My husband and I are currently going through fertility tests as it had taken us 2years to conceive the baby we lost and now I'm down a part of my reproductive system aswell Some days are extremely hard and some days are ok. Take plenty of time to heal both mentally and physically. Talk talk talk! Be it here of with somebody u trust. Don't be afraid to express your feelings. There were times (still are) when i feel like I'm going crazy but talking helps. These forums are great because you can relate to people's feelings on so many levels. Please look after yourself and feel free to message me at any time xx