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Heartbroken
Heartbroken
I was due on on Saturday and didn't come on. Started to get my hopes up that maybe I was pregnant and then came on yesterday. Absolutely devastated. It just seems so unfair that people around me keep getting pregnant easily. I know it takes time and we only started trying again a few months ago but it just gets to me every month when I come on. Every detail of my ectopic comes back to me and I end up in floods of uncontrollable tears. I feel completely ridiculous. I have endo as well so periods are super painful, even when emotionally I manage to keep it together I end up crying because of the pain. Now I have pain in my left side which just panics me and completely freaks me out. I feel so silly for feeling like this. I just don't know what to do. I'm fine all the time until I come on and then I just have 3-4 days where I just feel anxious and panicky and sad. Then it stops and I feel completely normal again. I just don't even know
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EPT Host 20
- Posts: 3176
- Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm
Re: Heartbroken
Dear Flower_28,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
The feelings you describe are very understandable. You have had so much to process in a very small timeframe - the ordeal of diagnosis, treatment, losing a pregnancy and concerns about the future. Any one of these is hard to contend with and putting it all together is immense. After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women find that they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and symptoms can include anxiety and not being able to focus on everyday things like work. There are a number of avenues that you could look into to get the help that you need.
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
Experiencing some pain after an ectopic pregnancy is normal as your body has been through a great deal. If you had surgery, the pain may be due to adhesions (scar tissue that binds two parts of the body together) which form and take some time to settle. Your body may be preparing to ovulate and many women experience ovulation pain when they did not before their ectopic pregnancy - including myself. You also may have a heightened perception because of the sad loss that you have had to go through.
If the pain persists, I suggest keeping a pain diary noting when the pain appears, the intensity on a scale of 0-10 and anything that helps the pain eg resting, hot water bottle, paracetamol etc. Visiting your doctors with this information helps them to assess how best to manage your symptoms.
There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn't our fault.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
**********************************************************************************************
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
**********************************************************************************************
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
The feelings you describe are very understandable. You have had so much to process in a very small timeframe - the ordeal of diagnosis, treatment, losing a pregnancy and concerns about the future. Any one of these is hard to contend with and putting it all together is immense. After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women find that they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and symptoms can include anxiety and not being able to focus on everyday things like work. There are a number of avenues that you could look into to get the help that you need.
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
Experiencing some pain after an ectopic pregnancy is normal as your body has been through a great deal. If you had surgery, the pain may be due to adhesions (scar tissue that binds two parts of the body together) which form and take some time to settle. Your body may be preparing to ovulate and many women experience ovulation pain when they did not before their ectopic pregnancy - including myself. You also may have a heightened perception because of the sad loss that you have had to go through.
If the pain persists, I suggest keeping a pain diary noting when the pain appears, the intensity on a scale of 0-10 and anything that helps the pain eg resting, hot water bottle, paracetamol etc. Visiting your doctors with this information helps them to assess how best to manage your symptoms.
There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn't our fault.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
**********************************************************************************************
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
**********************************************************************************************
