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My story...

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sd-1
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue May 24, 2022 3:32 pm

My story...

Post by sd-1 »

Hi everyone!

I wanted to share my story to shed light on my story.. I was bleeding in March of this year. I believe it was my usual period cycle. it lasted for about 4-5 days. 4 days later i was bleeding again. This time round it was much heavier and it was paired with really bad cramps on my right ovary. The pain lasted for 1 hour. I felt like i was going to have a black out. I thought again this was a sign linked to my period cycle.

4 days past, at this point I've been bleeding for a total of 9 days. This for me was not normal and nausea and severe fatigue kicked in. I needed to ring the doctors. I was examined with pressure being put on my belly and ovary area. the ovary pain started rushing back when pressed. I thought this could be related to a history of fibroids/cysts or even ovarian cancer. i was asked by the doctor if i was pregnant. I giggled. i hadn't missed a period & i was bleeding heavily why would i be pregnant? i was advised to take a pregnancy test. I was really anxious at this point. Me and my Husband always said children are a blessing and we started planning this year. I didn't quite think i'd conceive while bleeding too? I took the pregnancy test and i was in fact pregnant. I was then booked in for an early pregnancy scan. I had so many questions though. what was the gestational age? why was i bleeding? what was the black outs about then? Is the baby ok? I was only advised to go to A&E immediately if any symptoms worsened.

I went back home and told my Husband we were in fact pregnant. We were both happy but also worried because of the circumstances. Unfortunately hours later i was rushed to A&E and was tested for my HCG levels. They said they needed to keep a close eye over the days and check it was rising. They said it was and that was normal. At this point me and my Husband were trying to be positive. The blackouts were due to tiredness and i had nothing to worry about. Scan day came. me and my husband were really excited because my HCG levels were ok but we were also aware that something could be wrong. I was advised to have a transvaginal scan since i was bleeding which i complied to. A few minutes later we were told to take a seat in a separate room. we were told by a nurse that they couldn't locate the baby and there were one of 2 reasons why. 1-miscarriage,2-pregnancy of unknown location (ectopic). we were both numb. We didn't know how to react. I thought that was the end of it. i was then advised about a laparoscopy as our baby could be in my fallopian tubes. Before i knew it i was signing baby disposal forms and consent forms for surgery.

24 hours later i had my surgery and was told that our precious little one was in fact a right tubal ectopic pregnancy. we also had our questions answered. I was bleeding because our baby travelled from the fallopian tube to the abdomen and was growing-hence the HCG levels rising. I was also told our baby was 8 weeks. I do wish i was given more information on ectopic pregnancy. I wish i was told the after math of the emotional and physical changes that would occur. Honestly, we are so devastated as to what could have been. The process happened so quickly.

Fast forward 3 weeks post op,emotions are what i could describe like an ocean. Some days the waves are calm. Other days they are roaring. I feel empty. I feel like i wasn't given the chance of even understanding of what an ectopic pregnancy was or what the aftermath could be like. Physical and emotional changes have happened. I feel like i want to be there for my husband but equally i feel like he just wants to make sure I'm ok. Is it because I'm pouring my heart out? i feel some sense of guilt to be honest. I don't know if i'll ever get back to who i used to be. I am trying to keep positive and do want children in the future but what if this does happen again? I just can't help but worry.

I hope whoever has gone through this or is going through this knows they are not alone. I never thought something like this could happen to me either but I'm sat here pouring my heart out for anyone to find comfort or relate to my story..

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: My story...

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear sd-1,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss.
When we experience ectopic pregnancy as are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it's treatment, reduction in fertility and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
Sadly there is nothing we can do to prevent ectopic pregnancy, from the bottom of my heart I wish to reassure you that there is no good to feel guilty. You are not to blame.
Generally speaking, you should take it very easy for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time so please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and as you have mentioned, some days will be better than others. One day you may be okay and the next you may be in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body signals. Pain and feeling tired are your body signals to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy diet drinking lots of water and resting.

It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We experience a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget our babies, but we can learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process that might be weeks or months ahead. In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes. Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.
Making the decision to begin trying to conceive is an emotional rollercoaster compounded by our sad loss. Again, you are not alone. We here emotional support whenever you need us. There is a specific Preparing for your Next Pregnancy board you can look at too whenever feel ready.

Above all be kind to yourself, and feel free to lean on us for as long as you need,
Sending much love,
Karen x

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