By registering on our forum, you can view and contribute to more topics on ectopic pregnancy. Your details are confidential and we do not send unsolicited emails. For your confidentiality, you can choose your own forum name to protect your anonymity if you so wish. If you register, there is no obligation to post; you can simply take comfort from the words of others. It is entirely up to you whether you post a message or read others' experiences or do both.

Guilt after ectopic pregnancy

This is a welcoming place for you to ask your questions and share your knowledge and experiences of ectopic pregnancy.
To keep this as a safe space, before being able to post freely, an administrator will need to activate your account and authorise your first post.
Post Reply
SLiz22
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2022 6:28 pm

Guilt after ectopic pregnancy

Post by SLiz22 »

Hello, I am new to this but feel I really need some advice from someone who has been in my shoes.

Last month I had an ectopic pregnancy and lost my left tube. I think I am recovering ok physically but mentally I am really struggling. As well as the obvious feelings of sadness and shock I am struggling with the uncertainty and the lack of information about why this has happened and what it means for the future.

In my search for answers, I have obviously discovered that smoking is a risk factor. I was not actively trying to get pregnant, although I was pleased when I found out I was, and so was smoking when I conceived. In the absence of any other explanation I am utterly convinced that this is what caused the ectopic pregnancy, the loss of my baby and the loss of my tube. The guilt and regret is overwhelming and the fear that I have done irreversible damage and may never have a healthy pregnancy in the future is unbearable.

Rationally, I know I won’t be the first or the last woman to smoke and that many have gone on to have healthy babies. But at times the guilt is so bad I feel I have no right to be sad or accept any sympathy because I have brought this on myself. I know that smoking is not healthy but took the risk for myself never knowing that I was risking future babies in this way.

I guess I am wondering if anyone else has had an ectopic pregnancy and been a smoker, how you dealt with the extra layer of guilt and whether you went on to have healthy pregnancies in the future? Thank you and apologies for the long post!

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: Guilt after ectopic pregnancy

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear SLiz,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
You are right in that smoking does increase your risk of ectopic pregnancy however you have absolutely no idea that it was the cause.
The majority of women who have experienced ectopic pregnancy have no risk factors at all and so most women never know a cause.
From the bottom of my heart, there is absolutely nothing you could have done to prevent this from happening, please be kind to yourself.

Sending you much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
**************************************************************************
During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
***************************************************************************

Prova
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed May 25, 2022 10:30 pm

Re: Guilt after ectopic pregnancy

Post by Prova »

Hello,

I don't know of It helps, but I have never ever smoked.
I had a ectopic and Lost my left tube too.

I don't think you could have prevent what happened, even if you didn't smoke, so please be gentle with yourself. I feel so much guilt too, but It does not make any sense.

Post Reply