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My Story

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AbbiR
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Jun 28, 2022 10:03 pm

My Story

Post by AbbiR »

Hi Everyone,

It's my first time posting here, I've been getting some counselling and I thought it might help me, and maybe someone else to share my story. Maybe you'll feel less alone.?..I'm sorry that it's such a long one!!!

Our journey to parenthood started in 2019 when I got my first positive pregnancy test. We had our 12 week scan booked for the end of August and couldn't wait. We went into our scan and were told that the baby looked a lot smaller than it should be and there was no heart beat. It was measuring about 6 weeks at this time. We had to go back a week later to confirm there was no growth and I was then booked in for an ERPC.
We started trying again straight away and were over the moon to be expecting again in January 2020. This pregnancy wasn't without a few hic-cups- I had group b strep, some bleeding in the third trimester and it was in the middle of a pandemic but we welcomed a healthy baby girl in September 2020.

In August 2021 decided we wanted to try for a sibling, and because of the miscarriage previously thought it might be sensible to try a little earlier. We got pregnant straight away and I felt pregnant. I got very impatient and was taking tests quite early. I finally got a positive and about half an hour later I started to bleed. I contacted my midwife and she said to wait a couple of weeks and if I was still getting a positive test then she would get me an early scan. My bleeding got a lot heavier, I had bad cramps and was sure I had miscarried.
We were due to go on holiday about 10 days later so off we went on our first family holiday. I continued to get a little bit of spotting on and off but thought it was normal as I bled for quite a while after my ERPC. I didn't have any cramping or anything. When we got back to the UK I thought I would take another pregnancy test to make sure it was negative and my levels were back to normal however it was a blazing positive, and much darker than I had before we went.
I contacted the midwife again and was booked in for an early scan. During the scan they couldn't see any evidence of a pregnancy and said it looked like everything had come away. However because they couldn't see any signs that this had happened they would treat it as a pregnancy of unknown location. They took my blood to test my levels and said to have them repeated in 48 hours. This was repeated and my levels stayed the same. They were taken again and had then increased slightly. They then told me that sometimes the body takes a while to go back to normal after a miscarriage so they would see me again in a week for another set of blood tests. However a few days later I started to get some cramping, and having started to google I was worried about the chance of an ectopic- It was never mentioned to me by any medical professional up to this point. I phoned the early pregnancy unit and they agreed I should come in for another scan. During this scan they thoroughly checked everything, and found I had a pregnancy growing in my left tube. Because of the pain I was having they were worried it might of started to rupture. I was in for surgery that evening and they had to remove my left tube because it had started to rupture.

We were told we could try again after I had 3 periods. We waited that time and I got pregnant again, this time I had a chemical pregnancy, with a very early loss. The next month we tried again and again I was incredibly lucky to get pregnant again, getting a positive test in March 2022. We entered this positive with such apprehension, however my tests were getting darker and I took that as a good initial sign.
I had a little bit of brown spotting, nothing like my first ectopic and it only lasted a day or two. I was a little concerned as I then didn't think the tests were getting as dark as they should...Strangely we were going on holiday again, this time to Tenerife (To celebrate my mother in laws 60th birthday) while we were on holiday I was getting pregnancy symptoms, taking more tests, and they were getting darker and was also booked in for a 6 week scan when we returned because of my previous ectopic. The dates worked out pretty well in that 6 weeks was the day after we flew home...Perfect we thought.
It was 2 days before we were due to fly back and I wasn't feeling great, a little sick, some light stomach cramps, but I'm a nervous flyer, and often get a bit anxious. Plus felt sick pretty much 24/7 when I was pregnant with my daughter so didn't think anything of it and just had a chilled day in the room doing some reading.
The next day was the day we were due to fly and I woke up at about 6am and was having some stomach cramps again. This time they were really sore. I thought I might need the toilet but couldn't go even thought I felt like I needed to. The others went to breakfast while I stayed in the room. I thought I would get myself ready slowly as we had a few hours until we had to leave the hotel for the airport. When I was in the shower I suddenly felt really unwell. My stomach was very sore, I thought I might be sick and I also thought I was going to faint. I managed to get myself out of the shower and lay on the bed in a towel. I was getting hot and cold sweats and also felt like I couldn't keep my eyes open properly. I messaged my husband but he was busy feeding our daughter breakfast so I phoned him and explained I really didn't feel well, that I thought something was wrong and I really needed him to come back.
He asked if he should call an ambulance and I said no that seems too much but maybe ask if there is a hotel doctor. He called in at reception and they called out a doctor who came to our room and she thought it was likely a stomach bug, but because I was pregnant they would transfer me to the hospital for a once over.
Meanwhile the pain I was in was getting worse and worse and I didn't feel like I could move. When the ambulance arrived they asked if I could get up to sit in the wheelchair and I couldn't get myself up, my stomach felt like it was going to rip open. My husband was allowed to come to the hospital with me and my mother in law looked after our daughter at the hotel.
When we got to the hospital my husband was directed one way to sort out the insurance and pay for the ambulance- So brutal, I have so much more appreciation for the NHS since this!
I was left alone in a room for what felt like so long. Every now again again someone would come in and I was having to use google translate to communicate which added to the stress. They gave me some fluid, took blood and when I sat up I felt so dizzy they insisted I lay completely flat the whole time. Then nothing again, my pain got so bad that I was shouting out, and I remember asking for help from someone walking past the room. I felt helpless and so scared. They finally gave me some pain relief but honestly it barely took the edge off. I've never been in so much pain- And I've had a burst appendix and given birth with no pain relief. A couple of hours later and I was finally in for an internal scan. I told them I had a previous ectopic and I guess this was the area they wanted to check first.
I could see by the face of the women scanning me that something was very wrong, but with her little English she wouldn't tell me anything. It was also incredibly painful having the Internal scan so I was thankful it was quick.
Then it got a bit crazy. I was seen by someone else who told me that I had another ectopic pregnancy, outside of my uterus and it was causing internal bleeding and I needed emergency surgery as quickly as possible. I asked to see my husband and he was allowed to come in while they got me undressed as quickly as possible. I remember telling him how scared I was, that I didn't want to die and to please tell our daughter how much I loved her. And then I was rushed into another room for another very quick internal scan in which they raised my hips up. I screamed out from the pain as I thought my chest was going to explode, and my stomach split. I was in theatre so quickly, my concept of time was a little off but possibly 15 minutes after that first scan.

I didn't realise that I actually had a small stump of my left tube left from my first ectopic pregnancy. This time the baby was attached to the stump and also the outside of my uterus. I had a lot of internal bleeding, and blood clots in my abdomen that had irritated other organs so I was very sore. Because of the amount of blood that I lost I needed to have 3 blood transfusions and stay in hospital for 5 days before I was allowed home. The day after the surgery I was hauled out of bed by 1 Spanish nurse and made to sit by the window, when I was trying to tell her I felt dizzy (using google translate again!) I passed out. They then told me I shouldn't leave the bed as I had significant blood loss- Like it was my decision to sit by the bloody window!

It's been a crazy journey, I have a lot trauma surrounding what happened, as does my husband who thought he was going to loose me. It scares me that if I got on that plane home I would most likely be dead.

Despite all of that I still don't feel done. I would love another baby more than anything, and would really like to try again. However we're currently waiting to speak to a gyno, and hopefully the midwife/early pregnancy unit to see if I'm able to have any extra testing/scans. As far as I know it's just standard to be offered a 6 week scan, which was booked for the day after this happened.
I also feel very let down by the care that I had during my first ectopic pregnancy, I now know that I was entitled to better care. That they should have checked my tubes during the first scan if they thought it was a pregnancy of unknown location. If that had happened the rest of my story might of been different.

I'm sorry for the essay, thank you for making it to the end of my story.
I'm sorry you're here reading because you've also lost a baby through an ectopic pregnancy. It's crap!

EPT Host 22
Posts: 659
Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2015 10:26 am

Re: My Story

Post by EPT Host 22 »

Hi AbbiR,

My heart goes out to you for all that you have experienced and been through. I am so sorry that all of this has happened. Thank you for sharing your story, I know how difficult it can be. I'm so sorry for your ectopic pregnancies and losses. They are both physical and emotional traumas, and these boards are filled with women and men who are united by this experience. My own stories sound very similar with pain, long waits, referrals to-and-fro and confusion at hospitals. Recovery is a wavy path, and I'm glad that you have found the EPT and can speak about your experience.

While many health care professionals provide excellent levels of care, sadly we do sometimes come across instances where the care is not as we would expect. I'm sorry that you have had to go through this. In terms of your circumstances, you may be aware that you can raise any concerns about your care via the Patient Advice and Liaison Service or PALS. You can find your local PALS here and it may be an avenue that can help:
https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/hospita ... n-service/

There is no standard route for recovery. Some days are good, some not so good. With time things start to feel more normal, even if we don't ever forget. We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions can help the healing process. In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling. The charity, Mind, may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/.

These boards were a great comfort following my ectopic pregnancies and we are here for you for as long as you need.

With good wishes,


Michele

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

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