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My experience

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Purple91-
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Jul 10, 2022 5:57 pm

My experience

Post by Purple91- »

Me and my partner have been trying for a baby for around a year, so when I tested positive on a pregnancy test I was over the moon. I tried to remain neutral as I had had a miscarriage in 2018 but I was very happy. A few days later I stared to experience brown spotting which lead to fresh blood. By this time I was very worried. When I was admitted into hospital I was trying to be hopeful but I had assumed I had had a miscarriage. I was then told they think its an ectopic pregnancy this is when the nightmare begain. I was very nieve in thinking something like this couldn't happen to me but there i was about to go into surgery it all happened so fast. Sometimes I sit here and just cry thinking about it, its so much to take it. I just hope that I can process it and move past it. Now it has made me very scared to conceive again and the question that is forever in my mind 'why me, what did I do to deserve this?'

I just want to send everyone love that has been through this! 💜

Zonikta
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2022 12:12 pm

Re: My experience

Post by Zonikta »

Hi we are just going through the same thing. I tried and tried to get pregnant for years to have 2nd baby, and now 2 weeks ago an ectopic pregnancy . I lost the left tube in the process.
Its so shocking and overwhelming isn't it. I'm finding it so difficult to talk about with people. I have so many feelings and thier complicated.
It is such alot to process isn't it. I've felt so angry and anxious since.
I think you can't help but feel a bit alone as you try and get over it.
You did nothing to deserve it. It isn't your fault. Its unfair it really is.


I promised myself today that I would try and find some ways to sart dealing with whats happened to move through it.
I don't know how yet but hopefully something will come together.
You are not alone, I send you a big virtual hug. X

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: My experience

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear Purple and Zonikta,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancies and losses.
Generally speaking, should take it very easy for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time so please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others. One day you may be okay and the next you may be in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body signals. Pain and feeling tired are your body signals to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy diet drinking lots of water and resting.

It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We experience a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget but we can learn to accept what happened and understand that It wasn't our fault. It is a slow process that might be weeks or months ahead. In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes. Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.
The chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that's 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.
While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.

Making the decision to begin trying to conceive is an emotional rollercoaster compounded by our sad loss. Again, you are not alone. We here emotional support whenever you need us. There is a specific Preparing for your Next Pregnancy board you can look at too whenever feel ready.

Above all be kind to yourselves and allow time to grieve and to heal both physically and emotionally,

Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x


The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
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Purple91-
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Jul 10, 2022 5:57 pm

Re: My experience

Post by Purple91- »

Zonikta - yes it is very overwhelming. Im am still finding it hard to process all what has happened but I believe it will get better with time. Its a very horrible experience that we have gone through.

I hope you have found a way to start dealing with it. Personally I find writing my emotions and thoughts out on paper help me. We will get through this! Sending you healing and positive energy hun. Rest and take all the time you need xx


Karen - Thank you for your kind words and all the information you have provided i really appreciate it.

I am in no rush to try again at the moment but when I am I will be sure to check out the board for advice and guidance. Xx

Hope0403
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2022 8:34 pm

Re: My experience

Post by Hope0403 »

Hi,

I’m so sorry for your loss.

It’s such an awful experience to go through and I’m trying to come to terms with my ectopic pregnancy from March.

I find some days are easier than others, and I’ve noticed I’m still trying to avoid being around babies where possible. I was told it may help to have an item to use to remember the ‘little soul that came to visit and be part of my journey’, so me and my husband actually each got rings with what would have been our babies birthstone. Not sure if that will help anyone else who has suffered this terrible experience too!

Sending you all lots of hugs x

R Foster
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2022 9:25 pm

Re: My experience

Post by R Foster »

Hello ladies. I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a ruptured right sided ectopic 6 weeks ago after being sent home from hospital 5 days previous with horrific pain and being told it was trapped wind.

I had huge blood loss which required a transfusion and lost my right tube. It’s taken a long time to recover physically and I think I focused on the physical recovery more so I could do more with my 6 year old. However the emotional side has now kicked in. I can’t look at pregnant ladies or be around any babies and cry most days.

Sending you both lots of love xxx

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