Moving on….

[Kazb1986]

Hi,

My partner and I suffered an ectopic pregnancy on our first IUI attempt at a clinic around 3 years ago. Obviously a pretty traumatic time for us both. I think I was in denial at the time!

We have tried via the clinic another 3 times (well 2 officially as they won’t progress if you ovulate on the side where the tube has been removed but have to pay for the pleasure). We are now being real about the situation and decided we can’t keep spending out trying! This is really sad but a sensible choice.

I recently enquired at the doctors about possible IUI via the NHS but they have said no and that we would still need to try 6 times overall before being considered. They didn’t acknowledge the letter from the clinic suggesting we should be considered after 4 attempts due to my history! It’s very frustrating and makes me angry and sad!

My partner has an 8year old son and I have been in his life since he was 2 but he has a father and sees him half the week. Whilst I am a step parent to him and love him, just feel I am missing out never getting to have that mother child bond.

I wondered if anyone else in a same sex relationship has been through anything similar? How do you/have you managed to cope and move forward? Any advice?

Thanks

[EPT Host 20]

Dear Kazb,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy loss and of the difficulty you are now facing.
I guess I was just wondering why your doctor won't refer you despite having a letter from your clinic saying to be referred after 4 tries. Is there another doctor in the surgery you could possibly speak to to ask, or perhaps contact the doctors via email/writing to ask why they have disregarded the advice of a fertility specialist.
I am so sorry there seems to be so many hoops you need to jump through.
We will be here for you for as long as you need,
Sending much love,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
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[Tron]

I know you asked for people with similar stories. Mine is not similar. I wish I had anecdotal advice or help of some kind, but I did want to just try to send some care your way. It sounds like there still may be some options left. Either way I'm hoping for the best for you.

[LLux]

Hi,
I had a cervical ectopic after my 2nd round of IVF (after 2 of IUI) and am waiting to find out if my uterus is damaged with scarring and whether it's safe to try again. Or not.
We have a daughter who my wife carried, but I want to carry a second so desperately. We've privately funded all treatment so far so I totally get the double insult of having this happen when you're paying through the nose for the privilege. It's a whole additional level for us that people who conceive naturally just don't have to consider.
Just sending some good vibes to you xx