Hiya all,
First time poster- member since February.
I guess i'm writing this as, even though i'm surrounded by a loving family, i still find it difficult to speak about my ectopic to those closest.
It happened, rather traumatically in Feb and have since had 4/5 sessions with a therapist to digest it all.
With her i felt determined and a new lease of motivation and drive to put it all behind me.
Then today, i just fell apart. I blame the time of year and the reality of 'what should have been'... i could have had a 2month old new baby if it wasn't for the ectopic.
So i did what i do best, cried it out and hid so my other half wouldnt see my puffy red eyes and so i wouldnt have to explain that over 10months later i'm still reeling and bogged down by it all.
The scars havent faded. my belly button is hideous due to the overlay/flap of skin left behind due to stitches getting infected. i'm constantly reminded of what happened and what could have been.
2023 is a year i will not look back on with relative kindness or gratitude. infact i cannot wait to get out of it.
But thats the sting, even though i (symbolically) can put it behind me and welcome in a new year, i have the 'anniversaries' of the events fast approaching. And what i'm dreading is that they will pass by and no one except for me will think about it, or recognise it.
I'm thinking of speaking to my therapist again, i was discharged a month ago, i was feeling so ready for it, and im not sure why, but its clouding me again. I feel a weight on me pushing down.
I want to blame the weather and the painful feelings such a time as Christmas can dig up...
And now i'm not even sure what i'm asking for-- i guess maybe some validation in my feelings, that i'm not alone in this.
Merry Christmas all, and love and prosperity for 2024-- may we all begin to heal the holes in our hearts.
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Welcoming a New Year
-
Ectopicrecovery
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Tue Nov 28, 2023 8:31 pm
Re: Welcoming a New Year
I'm a few months behind you just could have written this. You're not alone. Feel like I'm constantly pretending I'm ok because that's what everyone expects but inside I'm falling to pieces and the yearning for a baby just gets worse with each day that passes. Solidarity 
-
EPT Host 20
- Posts: 3176
- Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm
Re: Welcoming a New Year
Dear Ktcakes and ectopicrecovery,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy losses,
Thank you both for reaching out, we hear from many women with similar feelings and theses always resonate with me. I didn't cope very well emotionally following my ectopic pregnancy either, I struggled for 2years before contacting the Trust. Anniversaries and due dates, this time of year meeting up with friends and family with children or being with someone who is pregnant, can be stark reminders of what could have been. It can be a really overwhelming time and it's important to protect your heart in any way possible.
I too reached out to the Trust, I found comfort in reading others posts and I didn't feel so alone in how I was feeling. I was also advised to try counselling, which I did. Following this, I understood that although I would never forget my pregnancy or baby, I learnt to accept what had happened and crucially understand that it wasn't my fault.I
Ktcakes, It sounds like reaching out to your therapist might be a very good idea. It's not a step backwards, it's giving you the support you need at this very difficult time.
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition,'ectopicrecovery', you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
Experiencing ectopic pregnancy can be very isolating. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.
Sending much love,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
The EPT is awarded the PIF TICK as a Trusted Information Creator, the UK-wide quality mark for healthcare information
*************************************************************************
If the information provided here or through the EPT website has helped you, you can donate towards our support services, volunteer, or fundraise to raise awareness.
Further information is available on our website.
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back support line: 020 7733 2653. We are able to provide support in multiple languages including British Sign Language.
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list.
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
*************************************************************************
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy losses,
Thank you both for reaching out, we hear from many women with similar feelings and theses always resonate with me. I didn't cope very well emotionally following my ectopic pregnancy either, I struggled for 2years before contacting the Trust. Anniversaries and due dates, this time of year meeting up with friends and family with children or being with someone who is pregnant, can be stark reminders of what could have been. It can be a really overwhelming time and it's important to protect your heart in any way possible.
I too reached out to the Trust, I found comfort in reading others posts and I didn't feel so alone in how I was feeling. I was also advised to try counselling, which I did. Following this, I understood that although I would never forget my pregnancy or baby, I learnt to accept what had happened and crucially understand that it wasn't my fault.I
Ktcakes, It sounds like reaching out to your therapist might be a very good idea. It's not a step backwards, it's giving you the support you need at this very difficult time.
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition,'ectopicrecovery', you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
Experiencing ectopic pregnancy can be very isolating. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.
Sending much love,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
The EPT is awarded the PIF TICK as a Trusted Information Creator, the UK-wide quality mark for healthcare information
*************************************************************************
If the information provided here or through the EPT website has helped you, you can donate towards our support services, volunteer, or fundraise to raise awareness.
Further information is available on our website.
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back support line: 020 7733 2653. We are able to provide support in multiple languages including British Sign Language.
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list.
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
*************************************************************************
