Where is my baby?

[31012024]

I was 7 weeks pregnant went to hospital with abdominal pain, vomiting and back pain was sent home with ‘viral gastroenteritis’ no word of ectopic.

I was then called 3 times 4 hours later when I was discharged to attend an emergency outpatient appointment which shown a ruptured ectopic. I was on the theatre table within 5 hours.

The care was below standard we were not allowed open visiting and was discharged with paracetamol, ibroufen and peppermint water. Following and emergency surgery. I spoke to the doctor who agreed with codiene. This doctor did not come into the curtain just popped her head into the curtain said about codiene and gave us a ‘sweet dreams box’. We do not know what has happened to the remains of our pregnancy and baby. We just feel like it’s in the bin. No one has discussed with myself nor my partner Chris regarding what happens after it goes to the lab. There is no follow up on the discharge summary.

I am absolutely shocked that England does not have a law regarding pregnancy remains and that there is no legislation. It is down to hospital policy. In this case I am under the impression that this hospital does not have a policy for pregnancy remains. Instead my baby gets put with other pregnancy tissues. I was not given a choice in how my baby is deposed of. Hence why I have escalated to the human tissue authorities and been assigned a case manager. Although our baby was removed due to life saving treatment I feel that medical professionals don’t understand that we have also suffered a loss. I feel that our pregnancy is now classed as a termination and feel like it’s ‘clinical waste’. It was 7 weeks old with a heart. If you went to the vets and a puppy died in a womb the owner would have a choice. There is no law regarding choice for pregnancy remains and it’s all down to ‘hospitals policies’. We live in the 21st century and I cannot believe that there is no law for women/ parents like ourselves. Our case was ectopic not classed as a termination. We wanted our baby at home with us or buried with my partners mother. I still don’t know now where my baby is.

Sorry if this has cause any upset in reading this. I do not want anyone else to go through the same.

I am a nurse by profession and i feel that this has to changed so no one else goes through the same.

[31012024]

I was 7 weeks pregnant went to hospital with abdominal pain, vomiting and back pain was sent home with ‘viral gastroenteritis’ no word of ectopic.

I was then called 3 times 4 hours later when I was discharged to attend an emergency outpatient appointment which shown a ruptured ectopic. I was on the theatre table within 5 hours.

The care was below standard we were not allowed open visiting and was discharged with paracetamol, ibroufen and peppermint water. Following and emergency surgery. I spoke to the doctor who agreed with codiene. This doctor did not come into the curtain just popped her head into the curtain said about codiene and gave us a ‘sweet dreams box’. We do not know what has happened to the remains of our pregnancy and baby. We just feel like it’s in the bin. No one has discussed with myself nor my partner Chris regarding what happens after it goes to the lab. There is no follow up on the discharge summary.

I am absolutely shocked that England does not have a law regarding pregnancy remains and that there is no legislation. It is down to hospital policy. In this case I am under the impression that this hospital does not have a policy for pregnancy remains. Instead my baby gets put with other pregnancy tissues. I was not given a choice in how my baby is deposed of. Hence why I have escalated to the human tissue authorities and been assigned a case manager. Although our baby was removed due to life saving treatment I feel that medical professionals don’t understand that we have also suffered a loss. I feel that our pregnancy is now classed as a termination and feel like it’s ‘clinical waste’. It was 7 weeks old with a heart. If you went to the vets and a puppy died in a womb the owner would have a choice. There is no law regarding choice for pregnancy remains and it’s all down to ‘hospitals policies’. We live in the 21st century and I cannot believe that there is no law for women/ parents like ourselves. Our case was ectopic not classed as a termination. We wanted our baby at home with us or buried with my partners mother. I still don’t know now where my baby is.

Sorry if this has cause any upset in reading this. I do not want anyone else to go through the same.

I am a nurse by profession and i feel that this has to changed so no one else goes through the same.

[LTQKVS]

Im sorry for your loss and what you’re going through.
I’m not sure what area you are but I am in East Yorkshire and I was given a form just before I went down to theatre giving me three options of what I wanted for the remains. It will be three weeks on Monday and pathology have only just finished and I’m waiting for a report - just wondering if you called the ward whether you could request for the remains as pathology take a while to do what they need to do with them? I have also requested my notes from ultrasound and surgery and nurse has said she will read through pathology report with me so I can get some idea of what was actually there. It sounds like yours was live so a bit different to me but you should still be able to make a request?

Have you contacted PALS they have made contact with gynaecology on my behalf for answers that I feel I need.

Good luck to you x