How to Help Someone Who Has Experienced an Ectopic Pregnancy

We often hear from family, friends, and colleagues of people who are going through or recovering from their experience of an ectopic pregnancy. Many want to know how best they can support their loved ones.

How to help someone who has experienced an ectopic pregnancy
There can often be a combination of physical and emotional needs for the person who has experienced the ectopic pregnancy and their partner and possibly wider family.

Thank you for all the work you and EPT do. Only yesterday, I passed on your details to a friend of mine whose daughter-in-law recently had an ectopic pregnancy.

Practical support
Practical support can include signposting your loved one to this website or reading sections to them if you are able to. There are often many questions that arise with a suspected or diagnosed ectopic pregnancy. Finding information and support to help answer those questions can provide some idea of what to expect in the weeks and months ahead and may alleviate some worries.

My fiancé ran me a bath, washed my hair then left me to have a cry. He came back to dry me off, put me in my PJs then snuggled up in bed whilst I cried some more in his arms.

- Jean

Emotional support
Emotional support can include being open to listen and talk. Simply asking “How can I help?” can prompt the person to tell you what they might want or need. If finding the words to talk is hard, you could write a card or note. Even letting your loved one know that you have taken the thought and effort to visit this website/contact us could in itself be such a comfort.

Being with my family and talking to the EPT helpline when wanting advice on trying again.

- Kerri

Wants and needs can be individual to each person and couple and they can change over time. Our supporters have shared some ways in which they have provided and received help during one of the most challenging times in their lives. We hope that some of these ideas might assist you or provide inspiration for your own ways of helping your loved ones.

A nurse sat by me and chatted at night when I found it hard to sleep.

- Candace

My parents were my rock.

- Manni

My fiancé held me, washed me, and cooked for me. We also had a cremation and have a memorial plaque giving us a place to visit our angel.

- Hayley

My partner gave me a little teddy sprayed with his aftershave to help me sleep at night.

- Sabrina

My best friend came round at 8 pm with a hot water bottle to go around my neck. My husband got every pillow in the house and made a pillow fort for me to sleep in while he slept on the sofa.

- Kimberley

As well as my family showing me support and kindness, a fellow patient made sure I ate my meals and insisted the medics gave me pain relief when I was in so much pain I couldn’t eat.

- Julie

One particular doctor was really supportive and got me an ambulance on a Friday night to another hospital so I could be scanned. On the following Tuesday when she saw me waiting for hCG results as an outpatient she “barged” into the clinic, looked at the results, moved me to a private room, called the consultant, and shouted it was urgent. I was operated on as my hCG levels were 8000+. The next day, in her own time, she visited with pictures of the tube and explained everything.

- Kerri

I was rushed into the hospital on Christmas Eve. When I came out of the hospital the whole family had put Christmas on hold.

- Libby

My husband and a blessing from the priest.

- Priscilla

My husband saved my life by actually forcing me to go to hospital.

- Lydia

My partner deserted me but the EPT website and friends and family were a great support.

- Becky

My mum sat with me every day while my husband was at work and did crosswords with me. It really helped not to be alone and to have distractions while I came to terms with my ectopic.

- Alex

Looking after your own needs
Self-care is just as important in order to be able to support others. Be mindful of and take time for your own well-being, too. When dealing with trauma, we can sometimes feel quite helpless – but, by wanting to support your loved one and contacting us to help you do that, you are already doing so much.

Walking the dog; People at work sending a beautiful card and coming out to the car park on my first day back at work to hold my hand; Reminding me to breathe when I became terrified or when someone asked me how I was.

- Frances