I found out I was pregnant on 13 February 2024; we were absolutely over the moon as we had been trying to conceive for 17 months. It was our first baby together, and I was trying to process the feelings of being pregnant, we were so excited for the future ahead.
On 16 February I started experiencing some left sided abdominal pain. It was quite intense and was making me feel dizzy and nauseous, so I went to bed hoping the pain would go away. I was very tired, and I must have fallen asleep. I woke up at 6am the next morning and the pain was still on my left hand side of my abdomen. I decided to get in the shower and that’s when I noticed some brown vaginal spotting.
My partner and I drove to the nearest emergency department where we were seen quickly and sent over to the early pregnancy unit. We were seen by a doctor there and I was examined, the doctor said it was most likely a threatened miscarriage. They suggested that I return to the ward 48 hours later, 19 February, to have my pregnancy hormone bloodwork repeated. If the hormone had increased, then I was to come back on 20 February for an ultrasound scan.
I returned to the ward on 19 February, and I had my blood test taken. The pregnancy hormone had doubled. I had somehow convinced myself that everything was okay because my pregnancy hormone had doubled, and the pain and bleeding had stopped.
The morning of 20 February the left sided abdominal pain returned, and the bleeding started again. I knew this wasn’t normal and I was worried. We went to the ward, were given an appointment card for an ultrasound and then walked down to the scan department. We sat anxiously in the waiting room until we were called through. I lay down, feeling very nervous.
After a few minutes we could both see that the sonographer was struggling to find the pregnancy. My heart sank and my partner said he could feel the mood of the room had changed. The sonographer called her colleague into the room to get a second opinion. Unfortunately, they both confirmed to us that it was an ectopic pregnancy in my left Fallopian tube.
I got wheeled back to the ward in a wheelchair and I could see the nurse who came to collect me looked worried. I was taken into an assessment bay where I saw another doctor. She said that because my pregnancy hormone was above a certain threshold, I could not have medication to treat the ectopic pregnancy and that I would need to have surgery.
The doctor also told me that they may have to remove my left Fallopian tube. My whole world felt like it fell apart. I felt feelings of despair, anger, sadness, anxiety, fear and I just could not believe this was happening to me. I was so scared to have surgery as I have never had surgery before. I literally felt fearful for my life.
I was put on the emergency surgery list as the doctor said there was a high risk of my Fallopian tube rupturing which is life threatening. I could not believe what I was hearing.
My partner was so supportive throughout the whole ordeal. I could tell he was shocked. He kept saying we will get through this, but I could tell he was scared. I was taken to theatre at 8pm and unfortunately, they did have to remove my left Fallopian tube. The whole situation had just escalated so quickly. It went from you’re having a baby to; sorry you’ve lost your baby, and you must have surgery to save your life.
Since the surgery I have had conflicting feelings of feeling detached from the pregnancy. It all happened so fast, and the pregnancy was gone. I didn’t really have any time to process that I was pregnant. I feel angry, upset and robbed of my unborn baby. I felt relieved that my life was no longer in danger, but I felt guilty for feeling that way. I feel sad that we will never know the gender of the baby. He or she would have been due on 19 October 2024.
I keep crying and replaying everything in my head. I don’t know anyone that has experienced an ectopic pregnancy. I want to raise awareness. I want to let others know that have experienced ectopic pregnancy, that it’s okay to feel conflicted and lost. Any type of baby loss is just so very cruel.
If you have a good support network around you and you talk about the way you feel, you will get through this. I have found comfort from The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust’s website and Tommy’s website. I also commemorated our baby on the The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust website using the treasured tulips. I hope my story can bring comfort to others and knowing you’re not alone.
Written for Baby Gerraty – Holding
20.02.2024
Thank you to Ella and Matt for sharing their experience. If you would like to share your experience of ectopic pregnancy, please visit our guide for more information.
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