I am an ordinary 31 year old woman. I’ve never been told I have any reproductive issues and have gone about my life naively thinking I would have a football team of children.
My world came tumbling down late in 2022 when I suffered an early miscarriage in October. After the callous and cold treatment that I received, I was broken. After extensive research, and finding support through online groups, I got up, dusted myself off and we fell pregnant again in November.
After our miscarriage, I was scared, terrified of losing this one. All was going well, I got to six weeks and stopped searching the toilet paper for signs of blood, stopped researching every symptom and over analysing my symptoms or my lack of symptoms. I relaxed and started to let myself dream of the possibilities.
On 8 of December I started bleeding bright red blood. I had no pain, just blood. My first thought was, I’m miscarrying again. Our scan was booked for later that day. My partner and I tried to stay calm, and reason that it could be normal.
We went into that scan room and, after a gruelling half an hour, and external and internal scans, we were taken into a side room and were told there was no evidence of a pregnancy, and that this was a pregnancy of unknown location. My heart broke again. I didn’t think I could survive another loss.
That night, I started experiencing severe cramping on the bathroom floor, no pain relief was helping, all I could do was bear down and groan in the most animalistic way. I passed what I thought at the time was my baby. My partner and I buried our baby, cried and grieved for our much longed for little bean.
I wish this was the end of the story, sadly it is not. What happened next was the longest and most painful three weeks of my life as we learned I was, in fact, experiencing an ectopic pregnancy.
We attended the hospital every 48 hours to check my hormone levels and for ultrasound scans. All to be told, there is no baby visible, but your hormone levels (hCG) are rising. The words ‘ectopic pregnancy’ were used repeatedly in conversations but no one confirmed this.
We traipsed up and down to the hospital, feeling more and more like worn-down soldiers in the trenches of war. Never getting an answer, being told, if your hormone levels have risen again then we will treat as an ectopic pregnancy, to then being told it was too risky and they needed more bloodwork. I was tired and broken, feeling I couldn’t grieve as my story hadn’t ended.
Eventually on 23 of December 2022, the doctors confirmed it was an ectopic pregnancy. I was treated with Methotrexate (medical management) and told we could not travel due to the risk of rupture. We spent Christmas just us; we couldn’t see family; we couldn’t see friends. I’m glad we had each other but it was a lonely and scary time in a period that’s supposed to be happy and light.
On New Years Eve, I awoke from sleep in extreme agony, extreme nausea with an incredible pain in my shoulder (shoulder tip pain). My partner rushed me to the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit, and after what felt like an agonising several hours, I was told the methotrexate was working.
My partner and I spent New Year’s Eve apart, whilst I was laying in hospital unsure if I would need surgery to remove my tube. Thankfully I didn’t, however I do not know the current extent of damage to my tube and will never know.
I had weekly bloodwork until on the 8 February, our nightmare finally ended, and my hormone levels had fallen below pregnancy levels.
My ectopic journey was scary, confusing, unclear and uncertain. The early pregnancy team were amazing, and I am forever thankful, but the information I received in terms of what was happening to my body was minimal. I have subsequently suffered a third miscarriage, and sadly my naïve dream of having a football team of children has been shattered.
Educating women on their bodies, and what an ectopic pregnancy can look like, in all its forms is so important. We still have hope that we can have our rainbow, but we should recognise that life isn’t a fairy tale. Ectopic Pregnancies do occur, and all women should be entitled to incredible support and care. I am 1 in 80.
Thank you to Amelia for sharing her experience. If you would like to share your experience of ectopic pregnancy, please visit our guide for more information.
Please remember our support services are available at any time.