Commemoration and Remembrance

As ectopic pregnancy occurs in early pregnancy, often prior to 12 weeks, there can be so little tangible to remember our losses by. Some people choose to create their own unique ways to commemorate their pregnancies, losses, and what could have been

Remembrance and Marking Loss through Ectopic Pregnancy

Significant dates, milestones, and anniversaries can also be challenging and finding something meaningful to turn to on those difficult days can be of some comfort. 

Marking loss and important dates might not be for everyone. Whether or not to choose to do something is personal, just as each individual’s experiences, grief, and reactions are unique. Above all, do what feels right for you and know that we are here to support you.

Here are some ways that you may wish to consider to commemorate your pregnancy, your baby, or your experience. These have been generously shared by supporters who have also been through an ectopic pregnancy loss.

Dedicate a Forget Me Not in our virtual Meadow of Remembrance

Losing a pregnancy, at any stage, can leave a lasting impact in our hearts. Many carry the hopes of what could have been and love with us always. To honour our experiences and to provide a space of remembrance, we invite you to dedicate a virtual Forget Me Not – a small but meaningful way to commemorate a pregnancy loss. Click the meadow below or follow this link to make a dedication.

For completed meadows please visit our Forget Me Not page.

Thank you very much for my handwritten note and for the mini challenge. This challenge was something my daughter and I could do the same weekend, even though we live in different cities.
- Seeds of Reflection Participant who planted forget-me-not seeds

Dedicate a virtual tulip to commemorate your pregnancy

You can choose a virtual tulip to “plant” in the EPT’s Treasured Tulips gardens on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can see and visit your Tulip wherever and whenever you wish and can dedicate a Tulip for yourself or for someone else.

Keeping treasured possessions

  • Creating a box or special place to keep any ultrasound pictures that you may have. Some may wish to add a photo of their positive pregnancy test or their hospital wristband or other items associated with their experience

Turning to nature

  • Planting a tree, plant, flower, or shrub in your garden or in a pot
  • Creating a garden or plant pots area, adding flowers or plants on meaningful dates.
  • Releasing flowers into the sea
  • Naming a star
  • Dedicating a tree in memory 
  • Finding a special walk
  • Placing a painted stone in a meaningful place 
  • Lighting a special candle
  • Some people request their pregnancy remains and make their own arrangements for private burial or cremation. Speak to your hospital team (as local procedures may vary), if this is something that feels right for you

Supporting and connecting with others

Comfort through creativity

  • Creating a memento or keepsake 
  • Wearing a special charm, charm bracelet, necklace, or ring with a meaningful stone like a birthstone or engraved with a significant date or phrase. This may include the date you found out about your pregnancy, or what would have been your due date or perhaps the name you had chosen for your baby 
  • Writing about your experience, or a poem, or a song, or a letter to your baby – this might be in a journal just for you or you could share with as many people as you feel comfortable with
  • Creating a piece of art 
  • Designing a tattoo
  • Creating a meaningful ceremony to reflect on and acknowledge your baby and/or your loss. You could include guests if you wish, or not, as you prefer
  • Creating a ritual or special activity that you could to turn to on anniversaries or important dates or whenever you feel you need – this could be visiting a special place or doing something meaningful for you.

Help us support others by donating to The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

If every person using our website and services donates just £3, it would cover our charity's costs for the entire year and fund future work. We can be there for all affected by ectopic pregnancy, from the moment they hear the devastating news. Thank you for any donation, to help someone at their most challenging time.

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