A story of multiple heart breaking pregnancy losses

09 Feb 2025 | By Kerri

I would like to share my recent experience of ectopic pregnancy because reading about someone else’s experience online allowed me to be confident that this was what I had and get treatment. I also hope it might make me feel better… 

I was already expecting the worst, and I think that might have saved me. I’d been through hyperemesis, late-term stillbirth, two chemical pregnancies, a blighted ovum, a missed miscarriage, a miscarriage due to chromosomal abnormality, and failed IVF. This pregnancy was the result of the second IVF with donors – the first set of donors having produced no viable embryos. 

Whenever there was a small chance of something going wrong, I suspected it would happen to me, and I’d consequently read up on ectopic pregnancies. I hadn’t realised that IVF was a risk factor for ectopic pregnancy, though. When I got a low hCG result (a hormone produced in pregnancy) on the day of my period, together with spotting, I said, “This is ectopic.”. The doctor did a scan, but it was very early, and he put my worries down to paranoia. I watched my hCG levels go up, then plateau, then drop. I’d seen that happen to a woman in a Reddit group who had an ectopic pregnancy, but we thought it was more likely a chemical pregnancy. 

The bleeding got heavier just a few days later, and I thought it was my cycle resetting, so I travelled to a family event (having missed a lot due to previous pregnancy losses, I didn’t want to miss this one). The bleeding never stopped, and my stomach was uncomfortable – though not in a way that would normally have bothered me. No shoulder pain. Finally, I accepted that I would have to go to hospital if we were ever going to be able to relax. 

There, they were worried because my hCG had risen even more, but finally, they said it was probably a normal miscarriage. I was a bit concerned, as the consultant seemed to have mixed up my dates. Some staff seemed very concerned about the risk, and others not at all. The scan was very quick and happened in the last five minutes of an unexpected all-day, all-night hospital stay, during which I was fasting in case I needed surgery. It took me six hours just to be admitted from the waiting room. 

I wasn’t able to have a follow-up scan, as there weren’t resources at the early pregnancy unit, so I was facing a potential second 24-hour experience of another hospital visit with an uncertain result – perhaps they might not even admit me for a scan at all this time. Not wanting that, I flew back home on the ticket we’d already booked, slightly scared I’d die on the journey, but also wondering if it was nothing at all. I was able to have a scan with the original doctor the next morning. My hCG was still climbing slowly, I was still bleeding, and my stomach hurt – more on one side, maybe, but all over – yet nothing appeared again on the scan. I was eight weeks by this time, and I knew that by then, many ectopic pregnancies had already caused a ruptured Fallopian tube. 

The doctor took it seriously and came through for me. In the next two days, I was sent to a private sonographer who specialised in finding these things, and he located it immediately in my right Fallopian tube. Apparently, they can grow very suddenly and fast. I was referred to the hospital immediately and offered medical treatment or surgery, which they preferred. They said the medical treatment would only decrease the chance that I would need surgery, so I opted for the latter and was so glad I did. They removed the whole Fallopian tube that night and told me afterward that it was just about ready to burst. After a month of discomfort, stress, and bleeding, I was happy enough to see the back of it – though it was just dawning on me that this was probably a viable embryo, just in the wrong place. 

The only good thing is that, given previous difficult experiences, I was confident enough to advocate for myself – both with the doctors and my partner. He was used to miscarriages and hadn’t realised how serious the risk was or that he needed to stay with me, but I was not embarrassed to ask, as I might have been once, worrying about making too much fuss. I was dead set on avoiding the trauma of another emergency admission after the stillbirth. It took so long to get this sorted out, and I had to be on top of it right to the end. 

I would like to say to anyone who thinks they might have an ectopic pregnancy – tell those around you to look out for you, check it out, and keep on checking until you know for sure. 

If I could say one thing....

Don’t hesitate, check, and keep on checking until you’re sure.

 

Thank you to our writer for sharing her experience. If you would like to share your experience of ectopic pregnancy, please visit our guide for more information.              

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