My name is Jacqueline and this is my story.
It has been so difficult for me to write this story, despite the fact that all ectopic pregnancies are different, some may be more difficult, hard, complicated, dangerous, but they are all sad and leave us with an emptiness that nothing else and no one can fill. We try to be strong and keep going but there is a scar that will always be there to remind us that our little angel was here with us. There is not a single moment that a mother or even a father stops thinking about that little angel.
I’m a 41-year-old mother, happily married for 21 years, I have two beautiful daughters, 18 and 13 years old. My pregnancies were very good, I had two miscarriages before each of my daughters. The doctors did tests and showed that both pregnancies that I lost were boys. After my last daughter, my husband and I decided not to have any more children, so I had tubal ligation surgery (a surgery to close the Fallopian tubes).
After that I had a normal life, my period was regular, every 28 days. I know my body, and after 13 years my period was late for the first time. Around that same time, I was very sick with a horrible cold, I thought the medication that I was taking had delayed my period. I didn’t pay much attention to it because I was experiencing some pain which I put down to my period coming.
One Friday night I was talking to my eldest daughter, telling her that I had horrible pain, but that I didn’t have my period and she told me “Mommy buy a pregnancy test”. I told her “It was only a miracle I would get pregnant, I have surgery”. But after speaking with her I asked my husband to take me to the pharmacy to buy a home pregnancy test after dinner. I called my daughter while I was taking the pregnancy test, but I didn’t see those “two lines”. I told her “See, it is negative”. As I finished talking to her, I got up and happened to look again – I saw two pink lines! It couldn’t be, I was pregnant!! I called a co-worker and told her about the two lines, and she couldn’t believe it. I asked her to help me find a doctor, I was in disbelief.
The following Monday, I started looking for a doctor, it was so difficult because I am 41 years old, and they said it could be a high-risk pregnancy. I ended up telling the last two secretaries that I needed a routine appointment. They gave me an appointment for the next day (Tuesday). I know that if I waited any longer it was going to be deadly, and I wouldn’t be here to tell you about it.
I went to the appointment, explained that I was pregnant, had left sided pain and that I previously had tubal ligation surgery. They repeated a pregnancy test, which came back positive. I asked them for ultrasound because I need to know if my baby is where it should be, I had a feeling something was wrong. At first, they told me no because I wasn’t bleeding. But I kept insisting on an ultrasound.
I went to have the ultrasound done that Wednesday, and I was there for around 45-50 minutes in pain. They didn’t tell me anything during the scan and asked me to wait in the room because they needed to contact my doctor. It turned out that it was around seven weeks pregnant, but it was an ectopic pregnancy. That was the hardest thing in my life that I have heard, knowing that I couldn’t save the pregnancy. They sent me to the emergency hospital for surgery to remove both my tubes and my baby.
There I learned that God does perform miracles even though I don’t have my baby with me physically, but he was with me. If I hadn’t listened to my daughter, I wouldn’t be here and something worse could have happened. I would have waited until my next period to see a doctor.
I still don’t know how I fell pregnant after my surgery and the doctor couldn’t explain it to me. So far, I am still working through my sadness and I know that at some point I will have my answer. Right now, what I want is for women to know that if your body gives you signs that something is wrong, pay attention to it, seek help and don’t leave it for later! Listen to your body!
Thank you to Jacqueline for sharing her experience. If you would like to share your experience of ectopic pregnancy, please visit our guide for more information. Please remember our support services are available at any time.