I had no idea I was pregnant. It was the height of the Covid lockdown; my husband, our one-year-old son, and I had been out for our hour-long walk and all seemed fine. My husband took my son upstairs for his nap, so I decided to go sunbathe in the garden. Suddenly, I felt the most excruciating pain that knocked me for six. I knew straight away that something was wrong.
I stumbled into the house and got my husband to call 111. A rapid responder came to the house. He suspected appendicitis and asked if I could get myself to the hospital as it would be a long wait for an ambulance. My husband literally had to drop me at the entrance and leave me there. I was terrified and in pain.
In the accident and emergency department, I had a wonderful doctor who asked if I might be pregnant. I said that I doubted it as I had a coil and thought I was having a period. She did a urine test and found I was indeed pregnant. I was in total shock and then the grief hit, knowing what the issue likely was. Despite Covid restrictions, she gave me a massive hug and was so kind, as she could see what a mess, I was in.
An internal scan later confirmed that I had an ectopic pregnancy that had ruptured my Fallopian tube and that I needed emergency surgery.
I was taken to surgery straight away after a tearful call to my devastated husband, who was so upset not to be able to be with me.
When I woke afterwards, I was told they had removed my tube, but saved the ovary.
It was devastating for me as I was 39 and thought it meant the chances of another baby were very slim – plus the whole experience had been so traumatic, especially as I was alone throughout.
I ended up seeking counselling, and this really helped me to cope with my grief and trauma.
Miraculously, I found out four months later that I was pregnant. Nearly 12 months to the day of my ectopic experience, I gave birth to my identical twin boys, who along with their big brother, are the lights of my life. I feel so very fortunate to have had not one, but two rainbow babies, and it showed me that even in the darkest of times, there is hope. I will never ever forget the baby I lost though, and I hope there is never another situation like mine, where others must go through that experience alone.