I have learned a lot reading the posts on Facebook of how ectopic pregnancies are treated now. Some things are the same and some are very different (Methotrexate was not something used to treat after an ectopic when I went through mine). Bottom line is they are heart wrenching to go through.
Mine happened 38 years ago.
I had a miscarriage 2 years prior to the ectopic, then tried for 5 years to get pregnant again. I had tubal surgery as both tubes were closed then finally got pregnant. At 9 weeks I had sudden onset of excruciating pain, went to the emergency room where they gave me Demerol then sent me home, and 2 days later had a sonogram where my doctor said the sac looked flattened and my baby was probably dead but to “see how it goes”.
Two weeks later (week 11) I had a sonogram and my doctor said the baby was dead and she would do a D&C (dilation and curettage procedure) the next day. The sudden onset of pain happened again at 2am the next morning. Fortunately, my husband wasn’t a sound sleeper so he woke up when I collapsed on the bedroom floor. He took me to the emergency room and my blood pressure was 65/40. They gave me some fluids and said ‘your doctor doesn’t come in until 7 am, she’ll take care of you then’. There was no mention of ectopic pregnancy or anything else. I went for the D&C when she got there but after leaving the operating room my blood pressure went dangerously low again and they took me straight back in.
My baby was near the end of my tube but it had flipped up and was sitting on top of my uterus. When I awoke in recovery, my doctor came to see me and still did not say anything about an ectopic just saying “we’ll talk about it later”. I grabbed her arm and said “no we’ll talk about it now”. I needed to know what had happened. She told me that it was ectopic and when I got the sonograms it clearly showed that it was.
I’d like to say I had support but I did not. From reading posts about ectopic pregnancies on social media now, it doesn’t seem that things have gotten better for some people in that respect.
Obviously from me posting this I still have feelings about what happened. I did move on but my point is there was no post-op care and virtually no support. I wish I had sought out some help, but I didn’t. Writing this just now brings me back to that time but writing it all down has been helpful. So, if anyone gets this far in my post and is suffering from this painful loss, reach out and talk to someone. Don’t let it fester as I did. I wish you all health and happiness. Thanks for letting me share.
Thank you to Patricia for sharing her experience with us. If you would like to share your experience of ectopic pregnancy, please visit our guide for more information.
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