My partner and I were trying for about three months when I got my first positive pregnancy test on 3rd February 2025. I can’t describe how excited we were to see that test and start thinking about the future.
Around six days later, I experienced some spotting which really worried me. It was almost impossible to get an appointment, but I was told it could be normal. I had some worries, but I remained hopeful.
At just over six weeks, I finally had an appointment. After my first internal scan, I was told the pregnancy was of “Unknown Location” but not to worry – I could be earlier than I thought. My period was regular, and I’d been tracking ovulation, so I felt confused. I kept trying to make sense of it, just to reassure myself.
Over the next 11 days, I was back at the Early Pregnancy Unit nearly every other day for blood tests and scans. Each visit brought different consultants, new explanations, but no real answers. My HCG (pregnancy hormone) levels were rising, yet nothing could be seen on scans.
It became a relentless cycle of waiting and worrying. Nearly 3 weeks had passed, and I was no closer to knowing what was happening with our baby – or my body. It was exhausting, frustrating, and confusing.
Eventually, a consultant recommended an MVA (Manual Vacuum Aspiration) procedure to collect a sample. I was shocked. The idea of such an invasive procedure without understanding what was happening felt wrong. I knew it would be traumatic for me and voiced my concerns, but I was told it was my only option.
The procedure was worse than I could have imagined – extremely painful, both physically and emotionally. I was only given paracetamol and ibuprofen, which made it feel barbaric. I couldn’t understand how something so beautiful turned so dark.
Four days later, I returned to find my HCG (pregnancy hormone) levels were still rising. I was devastated. Eventually, by process of elimination, a consultant concluded it must be an ectopic pregnancy.
Surgery was the next step. I wasn’t against it, but I felt so vulnerable. I was terrified of losing my left Fallopian tube – a part of my body and fertility. I felt like I had no control.
After surgery, I was told I’d had an abdominal ectopic pregnancy attached to my bowel. I’d lost two litres of blood, needed a transfusion, and woke with a catheter, a drain, and only one Fallopian tube remaining. And, most painfully, without our baby.
My hospital stay was a blur. I felt vulnerable, anxious, and confused. No one fully explained what had happened. I was discharged with no aftercare or follow-up and no clear understanding of how or why this had happened. It made me feel like my experience – and our baby – didn’t matter. I just felt so angry with my body for not doing what it was “supposed to.”
What made it harder was the lack of compassion from professionals. At every step, the information felt minimal, rushed, or unclear. I was left to fill in the gaps, which only deepened my confusion and isolation.
Six weeks after the MVA (Manual Vacuum Aspiration), I started pushing for answers. That search became part of my grieving. The lack of answers clouded my ability to process the loss – to grieve not just our baby, but the trauma my body endured.
Eventually, I got some answers. The MVA (Manual Vacuum Aspiration) had been unnecessary. My body was trying to expel a tubal ectopic pregnancy, leaving fragments throughout my pelvis. More information, more emotions to process. It felt like a setback.
Three months post-surgery, I still have some discomfort. I experienced painful ovulation from my left side during my third cycle, and my periods have been heavy but are getting lighter. The emotional impact has been tougher than the physical, but you do need to take care of yourself as you remain physically fragile for a while. I returned to work after 2 weeks but needed help with things for 4 weeks.
Emotionally it has been a rollercoaster of grief, numbness, anger, confusion for us both. We went from dreaming of a baby to surviving a nightmare. But through it all, I still believe it will happen. I don’t know when I’ll be ready, but I trust that when the time comes, things will be different.
My advice to anyone going through something similar is this: trust your gut. Ask for second opinions. Push for answers. Utilise platforms like this. Read others’ stories. Even though you feel alone, you aren’t. This is such a confusing, scary time, and no one knows your body better than you.
If I could say one thing: What happened changed everything – and although we’re still grieving, I’m holding onto hope. One day, I believe we’ll get the outcome we deserved.
Thank you to our contributor for sharing her experience. If you would like to share your experience of ectopic pregnancy, please visit our guide for more information.
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