Emma's letter to their Baby

14 Oct 2021 | By Kerri
Personal Experience. A part of The EPT's Words of Wellbeing

Dear Our Baby, 
Gosh even just writing that has me tearing up.  
I don’t know where to begin with this letter. I am so sad that I’m having to write this letter and I will not be able to say these things to you as I cradle you in my arms.  
You were wanted so badly, your dad and I tried so desperately to have you with us. We found out about you on Father’s Day, you were the best present I could give your dad but also your two papa’s who were overjoyed to hear about you too.  
We were all so excited, so full of love and we had big plans for our lives with you in it. I’m so sorry that those won’t come to fruition.  
The day we knew you couldn’t survive broke our hearts. Life felt so unfair. How can we be in 2021 with so many medical advances and an ectopic pregnancy cannot be saved? What gave me comfort and still does, is that you continued to grow despite the odds. My hormones continued to soar so I know you would have survived and you would have been the perfect baby… if you had just been in the right place. 

My baby, not a day goes past that I don’t think of you, or what you would have been. I wonder how different our lives would be if you had been able to grow and thrive. I wish we had a different outcome. I love you with all of my heart. You will never be a taboo subject or a dirty secret. I will be your voice and I will speak of you.  
I hope that you are being looked after in Heaven. I hope that you are with me and I hope that you can see how much you are loved and missed.  
I love you with all of my being and I will never stop. I will continue to think about you every day. My arms ache for you. I love you, my beautiful baby.  
All my love, always  
Mummy x

Thank you to Emma for sharing her letter with us. If you would like to share your experience of ectopic pregnancy, please visit our guide for more information.

If you would like to share your own letter or creativity inspired by your experience, you can find more information on our Words of Wellbeing page.

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