In 2023 I had my first pregnancy; I was estimated to be around five weeks pregnant. Unfortunately, we later found out it was an ectopic pregnancy. When we saw the positive, my partner and I were ecstatic as we hadn’t been trying for very long and were so excited to become a family. The day after our test, I started bleeding. I felt like my world stopped spinning. I would put off going to the toilet just so I didn’t have to look. I spoke to my doctor a couple of days later, as it was a weekend, and she got me an appointment with our local early pregnancy unit.
I went for a scan and some blood tests; they could see a in my womb, so it seemed positive. I had a blood test 48 hours later and that showed my hCG levels (a hormone produced during pregnancy) going up but not at the rate it was expected to. For a week I was having blood tests every 48 hours as I stopped bleeding, wasn’t in pain and they couldn’t rule out a healthy pregnancy. I would pray every time my phone rang with the results that they’d increased enough. After ten days of having a positive test, a consultant delivered the heart breaking news that this wasn’t a healthy pregnancy but that my body wasn’t miscarrying. I felt so alone and doubted my body.
I was advised by the doctors to have medical management (methotrexate) as I was fit and healthy and not in any pain other than the odd abdominal cramp. We went ahead with the advice. I cried all the way home as I had lost my baby. I soon needed to have repeat blood tests and a scan as I was starting to show signs of pain.
On the scan they could see the pregnancy in my left Fallopian tube, the consultant then said to me that I need emergency surgery as it could rupture at any point. I was moved onto a ward with heavily pregnant women as it was the only place I could go, and I waited 13 hours for surgery (there was only one emergency surgery operating at the time). I woke up and I said, ‘did I lose my Fallopian tube’ and the recovery nurse looked sorrowful and said ‘unfortunately, yes’. I wept even though I was told prior to surgery it shouldn’t affect my chances of conceiving in the future.
I don’t think I really registered what was going on as my head was in a fog and I felt so numb after being through the stress and worry. It was when I was at home recovering that it really hit me. I think it’s hard on partners too as they are seeing you in pain, upset and are being supportive, and they have also lost a baby. I am so thankful that I have a supportive partner and family.
We didn’t even know what an ectopic pregnancy was, and my partner even asked, ‘if you’re having surgery, can you put it in the right place?’, but unfortunately you can’t. I wish there was more awareness and understanding of the symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy out there. It’s coming up to a year since my positive test and sadly I have gone on to have two miscarriages. I am now starting counselling to help me cope with the loss and grief. Since having an ectopic pregnancy, I have found out people that I know have also been through an ectopic pregnancy and we talk about our experiences and losses. I find it helpful knowing that I’m not alone.
I am hopeful for our future.
Thank you to Emily for sharing her experience. If you would like to share your experience of ectopic pregnancy, please visit our guide for more information.
Please remember our support services are available at any time.