I am a 35 and my husband and I have been married for four years, with both of us having siblings who have had multiple children. We had been trying to conceive for a while, but with no positive tests, we assumed our ages might be a factor. We both approached our doctor, underwent tests, and received positive outcomes – there were no identifiable issues preventing us from conceiving. We have been referred for fertility intervention and are still waiting.
My November period was late by two days, but since my October period had been late by four days, I didn’t think much of it. However, I noticed occasional nausea and decided to take a home pregnancy test after spotting for a week. We saw a bright red line – and in that moment, we felt every emotion possible: anxiety, happiness, fear, excitement.
Four days later, I had to take my husband to the accident and emergency department at the hospital due to an illness. While we were there, I thought, ‘Let me get checked out too’, since my spotting hadn’t stopped and had turned brown in colour. I had no idea what to expect, as this was my first pregnancy. My blood, urine, and blood pressure checks were all fine. My hCG levels (a hormone produced during pregnancy) were very high, and I was booked for my first ultrasound scan for the following Tuesday.
By then, I would have been 5 weeks and 6 days pregnant. I had no pain, just minor cramping, a few pregnancy symptoms, and persistent spotting. I underwent two transvaginal scans, but neither the sonographer nor the doctor could confirm with certainty that there was a baby in the sac. When they finally saw something, it was just outside my left ovary.
That was the moment devastation hit. There was no turning back. The doctors discussed treatment options – either medical management (methotrexate) or laparoscopic (keyhole) surgery to diagnose and treat the condition.
I bawled. Oh, how I bawled. I accepted the surgery, and because I required a bloodless experience, I felt truly cared for as the doctors did everything I needed. I lost my left Fallopian tube but was able to keep my ovaries. My poor husband said he was terrified I wouldn’t make it out alive.
We are in anguish, knowing there was nothing we could have done to change the outcome. I am honestly a little upset that some people who don’t even want to get pregnant can conceive so easily, while we struggled – only for our pregnancy to be taken away. Among my family and friends, babies are being born, pregnancies are being announced, baby showers are being planned. And I am opting out of them.
As far as I understand, having an ectopic pregnancy reduces reproductive function, and I am terrified of experiencing another. There is no way to prevent it from happening again. I just wish there was. I really wanted to have my little one to love. Now, I may never get that chance.
Thank you to Shadae for sharing her experience. If you would like to share your experience of ectopic pregnancy, please visit our guide for more information.
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