It took me a long time to process everything that happened on the day I found out I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. Even now, I struggle to understand how I went from preparing for my first child, to experiencing such pain and loss. I found out I was pregnant in October 2024.
My husband and I wanted to wait until my first appointment to tell our families and loved ones the happy news. I tried to schedule my first routine check-in, but many offices wouldn’t schedule anything before 9-10 weeks. I was finally able to schedule an appointment at 7 weeks, which looking back was very fortunate given everything that occurred.
I was eating healthier, continuing my exercise routine, listening to podcasts and following all the recommendations for a first trimester pregnancy.
The morning of my first appointment came, and we had our questions and notes prepared. After arriving and waiting for my name to be called, I remember how surreal everything felt. I was about to be a parent, sitting with other soon-to-be parents. I was called back, and the technician told me to use the restroom and to leave a urine sample.
I was so nervous, I dropped the first cup and had to grab a new one. In the patient room, there was a large television displaying images from the ultrasound.
When the technician started, I looked for our baby on the television screen. The technician asked for my phone number so she could send us the images later.
It was a transvaginal ultrasound, and as soon as it started, I knew something was wrong. The technician asked if I had any pain in the left side of my abdomen. At first, I didn’t think so, but I noticed a small, sharp pain, that grew in intensity. I told the technician, but she said it was normal to feel some discomfort. I didn’t want to seem like I couldn’t handle a little discomfort, so I let things continue.
I saw the baby, at least I thought I did, on the television screen. The technician didn’t say a word, and the pain only increased.
There was a blue line on the bottom of the screen, and I wondered if this was supposed to be the heartbeat, or in my case, the absence of one. The technician left, and I couldn’t move.
My husband helped me to dress and walked me to another patient room as I was so dizzy from the pain. I curled over on the bed, fearful of moving.
The doctor came in and told us it was a ruptured ectopic pregnancy on the left Fallopian tube, and I was bleeding internally and would need to be rushed to the emergency room for surgery.
What happened for the remainder of the day felt like a nightmare. Paramedics were called but were taking too long. They tried to get me to make it to our car so we could drive ourselves to the hospital, but I fainted as soon as I tried to walk again.
I woke up on the cold floor of the doctor’s office. The paramedics finally arrived and took me to the hospital. I had so much internal bleeding that I needed a blood transfusion, about 1.5 liters. I was shaking so much from the cold, each time I shook I felt a new wave of pain in my abdomen.
I was rushed into surgery, and I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be or if I would survive. I also thought before going under that I may not be able to have children.
At the time, I was sure I would never want to try again anyways. They removed my left Fallopian tube with a salpingectomy, and I learned I could still fall pregnant with the right Fallopian tube and ovaries intact.
They found there had been previous scar tissue on the left Fallopian tube, but I still don’t understand when or how this could have happened. I keep wanting answers, to solve the puzzle of why this occurred. I’ve been trying to make peace with myself that this was what the doctor’s called a “fluke”, but it’s hard to accept that I will never know why the ectopic pregnancy happened.
I’ve spent the months afterwards mentally and physically recovering, and my husband and I still want to start a family. It’s been a very difficult time, and I wish I could end this story on a happier note. I feel very thankful for the doctor that saved my life, and I could not have gone through this without the support from my husband and loved ones.
But the journey has been hard, and many times I want to stop trying to conceive and settle on a new path for my life.
by Katie Jones-Weinert (she/her)
If I could say one thing… Trust that you did nothing wrong. I struggle to not blame myself for losing the pregnancy, it’s hard to believe this was something that I couldn’t have prevented.
Thank you to our contributor for sharing her experience. If you would like to share your experience of ectopic pregnancy, please visit our guide for more information.
Please remember our support services are available at any time.