I fell pregnant with our second child in December 2022, I found out a couple of days before my eldest daughter’s 2nd birthday. We were excited to give her a sibling, but I couldn’t shake this internal fear and worry that something just wasn’t right. I had barely any symptoms and my pregnancy test lines were faint, I’d had symptoms with my first pregnancy quite early and had felt rough, but this time I had nothing. I was reassured that every pregnancy is different and that sometimes you can have no symptoms at all – which I know can be true.
We enjoyed the festive period up until New Years eve when I had some unusual bleeding and mild cramping. I just knew that something was wrong, but I thought I was having a miscarriage. I went to the walk-in centre on New Year’s Day, and they advised there was nothing they could do other than for me to contact the early pregnancy unit (EPU) or go to the hospital emergency department if the bleeding and pain got particularly bad. I didn’t want to sit in hospital for 8 hours, so we went for lunch with friends, which had been planned for a while, to try and take our minds off the situation and get out of the house.
On the way to our friends, I left a message with the community midwives, I didn’t think anyone would be able to call me back with it being a bank holiday, but I received a call later that day. She referred me to the EPU and said that everything could be fine, and bleeding can be normal – I personally had never had any bleeding in my first pregnancy, so I just knew that this didn’t feel normal. The EPU phoned me and got me in for a scan the following day, this showed exactly what I knew was coming but even though I already thought the worst, it didn’t make it any easier to hear. She said that what she saw wasn’t normal for my gestation, there was free fluid in my womb, and that I might have already had the miscarriage. My left Fallopian tube was obstructed and couldn’t be seen.
I was sent home then called later that day to come back to have some blood tests, they wanted to do them every other day to check my hCG (a hormone produced during pregnancy) was coming down. I was still waiting for the heavy bleeding to start, and it never did, it remained like spotting. This was just another thing which I didn’t think could be right if I’d already started to miscarry. My blood showed after three draws that they were still rising but only slightly. I was called at 9pm that night and told that they wanted me in. I was terrified and alone with just my 2 year old sleeping in bed as my partner was at work. He came home and we went to the hospital, I stayed overnight and had a second scan first thing.
The scan revealed an ectopic pregnancy in my left Fallopian tube, the sonographer was shocked that I was so ‘stable’ and not in any pain. She showed me the screen (I asked) and I could see the large circle in my Fallopian tube. I went back to the ward and the doctor came to speak to me, he said my levels were likely too high for methotrexate and that surgery was my best option. He advised that at this stage if I chose methotrexate, the probability was that and it wouldn’t work I would then end up with surgery anyway. I opted for surgery and was taken down about an hour later.
I was back on the ward that afternoon and felt numb. I was relieved to be okay, but also sad and confused. It had all happened so quickly, I just wanted to go home to my daughter and partner and have a huge cuddle.
We decided that we wanted to try again as soon as we could. The fear of another ectopic pregnancy was still very much there, but we wanted a second child and to give our daughter a sibling so much, so we looked at the facts we had been given and that the chances were low of it happening a second time.
I fell pregnant in June 2023, and we had our second baby girl in March 2024. The surgeon who delivered her by c-section was the same person who performed my ectopic surgery, so it felt very surreal! She is a little dream and has completed our family, our eldest is absolutely besotted with her and we feel so very lucky. We will never forget the baby we lost, and we will always be so grateful to The EPT and the hospital for the support and help they gave us through such a traumatic time. I signed up to fundraise the EPT1000 not long after I had the ectopic pregnancy, but I don’t think I was in the right mindset at the time, so I paused it. I am now 6 months postpartum so going to look to start exercising again.
I hope sharing this can give hope to those going through the same and to advocate for yourself if you think something isn’t right as I really do believe we know our bodies so well and know when something feels wrong.
Thank you to Rachael for sharing her experience. If you would like to share your experience of ectopic pregnancy, please visit our guide for more information.
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