Three ectopic pregnancies

I did not expect to be the 1 in 80 the first time, let alone three times. 

My first experience was in May 2022. I found out that I was pregnant, and before I even had the chance to tell my ex-partner, I began bleeding heavily. Despite the bleeding, my pregnancy tests were getting darker, so I knew something wasn’t right. After being referred to the early pregnancy assessment unit (EPAU), I found out that my hCG levels (hormones produced pregnancy) were not doubling, and that there was no evidence of an intrauterine pregnancy. After a week of 48-hour repeat blood tests, a scan showed my pregnancy in my right Fallopian tube, and I was offered surgery or methotrexate injections (medical management). I chose methotrexate with the hope of saving my Fallopian tube, and a future healthy pregnancy.  

The nurses at EPAU became my support system because my relationship at the time was not. The night after I had my first round of methotrexate, my ex-partner said, “What’s happened, it’s not as important as it would have been, had it been a planned pregnancy.”. From then on, I was on my own, and I could not have been more grateful for the nurses’ care and compassion. Unfortunately, my hCG levels did not come down after a week, so I needed to have a second round of methotrexate, which ultimately worked. 

The harrowing experience of my first ectopic pregnancy, mixed with difficult emotions, the end of a relationship, grief, and my deteriorating mental health left me fearful of a future pregnancy and no-one to turn to. 

In May 2024, after coming back from holiday I had a very strange feeling that I needed to take a pregnancy test. I was mid-cycle at that point as I had a period just before going on holiday, so I knew once again that something was very wrong when the test was positive.  

My partner and I had been trying for five months, and I had no idea how to tell him as I didn’t want to get his hopes up of a healthy pregnancy with his first child.  

I called the early pregnancy assessment unit and was seen very quickly for a scan and blood tests, which showed that my hCG was doubling, but nothing was seen on the scan. A week later, I had another scan which again showed that the pregnancy was in my right Fallopian tube, despite ovulating from my left ovary. Everything came flooding back from my first ectopic pregnancy and I can’t completely remember what was said other than the offer of methotrexate or surgery.  

I was desperate to go home so I told them that I needed to think about it and that I’d call them with my choice. My partner was so supportive, and we spoke about the options, fertility, and which would be better with the pregnancy being on my right side again. I phoned back the next morning and told them that I’d like to have surgery, and by that evening, I had the salpingectomy.  

After coming round from the anaesthetic, the surgeon told me that my Fallopian tube had begun to rupture, and I was already bleeding internally. I was grateful that I had chosen the surgery, but I couldn’t stop wondering what would have happened if I didn’t have the strange feeling that I needed to take a pregnancy test. I didn’t have pregnancy symptoms, bleeding, pain, or anything. Ultimately, I could have died. 

We were still hopeful of a healthy pregnancy and began trying again when it was safe to do so. 

That brings us to now, December 2024. I found out I was pregnant, and I guess it was intuition, but I knew it was another ectopic pregnancy as I was bleeding and had pain in my right side. I was given blood tests and a scan, and the radiographer tried to tell me that I was probably having a miscarriage, but I knew I wasn’t. I had more repeat blood tests and scans and they concluded that it was another ectopic pregnancy, and due to my history, I needed treatment quickly to preserve my remaining Fallopian tube. I have just begun methotrexate treatment, so we are hopeful that it works, and again that we will one day have a healthy pregnancy. For now though, I have been referred to bereavement counselling that is run through the early pregnancy assessment unit. 

There is no right way to feel or to grieve. Feeling sad is okay, but it is also okay to feel angry, terrified, frustrated, jealous, and hopeless. Grief is not a linear process, so there will be better days, and others that may consume us. Because of that, we must talk to people around us so that we can learn to live alongside the grief for our lost pregnancies. 

Thank you to Katie for sharing her experience. If you would like to share your experience of ectopic pregnancy, please visit our guide for more information.  

 

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