Joe's experience of a tubal ectopic pregnancy as a partner

26 Jun 2022 | By Kerri

My partner’s ectopic pregnancy was in October 2021. We had just recently found my partner was pregnant and we were both absolutely over the moon. 

We had been up to visit her grandmother to share the good news, when we went to leave Tiffany was walking ahead of me towards the door, and I saw her legs go like jelly and she collapsed. I broke her fall as best as I could, but I was too far behind. She looked extremely pale and was holding her stomach. I rang an ambulance and was advised it could take up to 13 hours for it to arrive so I decided to pick her up and put her in the car. She was not looking in a good way and was drifting in and out of consciousness. I can’t even remember the drive to the hospital as I was in machine mode and my focus was just getting there. 

The Triage Nurse saw her right away and asked me to check her in at reception. As I was in the queue Tiffany was wheeled out and the nurse advised me her blood pressure was extremely low and that she was taking her to resus. 

Due to Covid, I could not go with her initially but given the circumstances another nurse came to me and let me go in to see her as they did tests to establish what was going on. I was then escorted to a private waiting area where I waited around for around fifteen minutes, but it felt like forever. A lovely doctor came and explained she had an ectopic pregnancy; the baby had been developing in the Fallopian tube and it had ruptured. I had heard of ectopic pregnancies before but did not understand too much; the lack of awareness is shocking. I was advised she was quite poorly and needed emergency surgery and I could go and see her before she went to theatre. When I saw Tiff she grabbed my hand and would not let go. I explained I needed to go and provided as much reassurance as I could. 

I drove home and informed family of what had happened and waited anxiously for a call to advise she was out of theatre. Tiff lost her left Fallopian tube and had needed blood transfusions due to blood loss. Four days later, she came home and spent several weeks recovering and resting physically and emotionally. 

For me as the partner, I kept a brave face and just wanted to be there for her. It took me a while to process it and I didn’t discuss it much with anyone, but thankfully I did speak to a professional and felt so much better after it. 

We are both very grateful for the full support of the NHS, family, and friends old and new, everyone was great and we are both very hopeful for the future. 

I now speak about this and try and raise awareness regarding ectopic pregnancies as it can be life threatening and the lack of awareness is terrible.

If you would like to share your experience of ectopic pregnancy, you can email kerri@ectopic.org.uk

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