Coping at Christmas after ectopic pregnancy - The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust

29 Nov 2024 | By Kerri

Christmas and New Year often centre around coming together with family and friends, which can include a focus on young children. Social media may be filled with festive images—Father Christmas visits, tree decorations, and family gatherings—that might serve as heart-breaking reminders of what could have been.

If you’ve experienced ectopic pregnancy loss, this season might bring a mix of emotions, from sadness and reflection to gratitude and hope. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s valid. At The EPT, we gently remind you: You are not alone.

What to do if you experience symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy over the Christmas period

If you experience symptoms of ectopic pregnancy or complications following treatment, you must not wait for a reply and seek medical attention from health care professionals as soon as possible.

Contact NHS 111, your GP, or go to A&E. Don’t wait for symptoms to worsen; your health is the priority.

Questions About Physical Recovery

Physical recovery from an ectopic pregnancy varies from person to person. Whether you’ve had surgery, medical management, or expectant management, give yourself permission to rest. If you’re unsure about your symptoms or have questions about your recovery, we have some information here.

Be kind to yourself

Your feelings may change throughout the festive period and it is important to remember that this is perfectly normal. There is no rulebook to navigating Christmas and emotions can change from one moment to the next.

Grief and processing the impacts of ectopic pregnancy doesn’t look the same for everyone; what may work for one person may not for the next.

Being kind to yourself can involve:

Reducing demands on your time.
Taking breaks from social media.
Saying “no” to events that feel overwhelming.
Creating new traditions that bring comfort.

There’s no rulebook for getting through this time. Do what feels right for you, and remember to lean on those who support and care for you.

Remembrance

Whether you choose to create new traditions or bypass Christmas festivities altogether, we have some thoughts about how you can commemorate your pregnancy on our website.

In addition to this, some of The EPT team and our supporters have shared what has helped them cope over Christmas in previous years:

Dedicating an EPT Treasured Tulip and seeing our little one’s date written was a source of comfort. -Kerri

Having a balance of time alone but also time with family. – Anon

Allowing myself to feel sad without guilt was important for me. – Lois

I try to do things that make me happy: Decorating for Christmas; baking Christmas candy; a Christmas party with friends. And a call to my counsellor always helps. -Gita

Understanding that it’s okay to feel sad, don’t try to cover your emotions. – Anon

I take a little time to think of my lost ones and try and picture them and include them in my head during my preparations to make them feel they are there. – Jill

Every year since, I take a moment to myself just to process things and to have a cry. – Anon

You never forget, you just remember when you need to, and always be kind to yourself. – Helen

I often mark it in some way, lighting a candle and putting special decorations on the tree or around the house. – Joanne

Taking breaks and time to myself, and walks with my partner. – Anon

When we put our EPT angel decorations up, we always talk about our ectopic pregnancy loss and miscarriage. – Munira

Saying no to events we were dreading and putting ourselves first instead! – Charlotte

We have a potted plant I bought when we had the ectopic pregnancy and I put little fairy lights on them every year as my token to the baby that would have been. – Sophie

An ectopic pregnancy may affect parts of your life that you didn't expect. Be kind to yourself this festive season.

You are not alone

Having a safe space to turn to when things begin to start feeling overwhelming can be a powerful support. Whether your support group includes a friend, family member, your partner, or The EPT’s community, we encourage you to draw upon what you need when things are challenging.

Below we have detailed information about where you can find support over the festive period.

Our call-back support line and email services are available until Friday 20 December, 2pm. Between 21 December – 5 January, messages will be answered as soon as possible. The EPT’s normal service will resume from Monday 6 January.

Support networks and information over the holidays can be found on our Facebook groups and online discussion forums:

Facebook Closed Group: Anyone on Facebook is able to find the group to request access, but only those in the group are able to see who is in it and view posts.

EPT Online Forums: Our Facebook group is not designed to replace our online forums which can provide you with greater privacy and anonymity as well as access to information and support. Our forums put you in direct contact with others who have been affected by ectopic pregnancy.

Mind has information about mental health to help you or someone you love that is struggling with baby loss.

If you are having thoughts of self-harm or suicide, you should seek help immediately from your doctor/GP, A&E or by calling the Samaritans helpline at any time day or night.

Final Thoughts

Christmas may not feel like the season of joy, and that’s okay. Whether you focus on your physical recovery, choose to celebrate, take time to reflect, or simply aim to get through it, remember: you are doing your best. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up, and know that you are not alone.

From all of us at The EPT, we wish you a season filled with kindness and moments of peace.

Wishing you a peaceful Christmas, from The EPT Team

Support for you over the Christmas period after ectopic pregnancy