The theme #NotJustAStatistic means so much to me, and I’m honoured to contribute in writing, openly, without anonymity. My name is Katarzyna, and I live in Poland. My two ectopic pregnancies broke my heart, but they also led me to healing and hope, and I want to offer that comfort to others.
What I Wish More People Knew About Ectopic Pregnancy…
I wish more people knew that an ectopic pregnancy is never your fault. After my first loss in 2013, I carried heavy guilt, questioning what I’d done wrong. No one told me it was okay to grieve, and that silence hurt deeply. This loss isn’t just a statistic – it’s a real pain, a dream lost, needing time and kindness to heal. I also wish people understood that partners grieve too. My husband held his sorrow quietly while everyone focused on me. We need to make space for them, to share this journey with care and understanding.
How Has Ectopic Pregnancy Shaped Your Life?
My ectopic pregnancies in 2013 and 2021 changed me in ways I never imagined. The first came three years after my son’s joyful birth. The loss left me shattered, with no support offered, no kind words, no guidance either from medical staff or family. I felt I had to move on, deal with it on my own, though my heart was breaking.
In 2021, during the second ectopic pregnancy, I nearly lost my life and needed emergency surgery as well as a blood transfusion. In the hospital, I knew I couldn’t face that loneliness again. I reached out to The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust, and their warm, quick response felt like a lifeline.
Their virtual meeting, led by the wonderful Munira, changed everything. For the first time, I sat with women who truly understood. We shared our stories, and that connection lifted me. Later, I joined monthly meetings with a Polish loss group, guided by caring psychologists. They showed me that grief has no set timeline and taught me to honour my needs, like saying no to events with babies or pregnant women, without feeling ashamed.
We wrote letters to our babies and learnt how important it is to acknowledge them, be it with framed little hats and their names and dates underneath, a candle lit at the cemetery, or a painting. I also saw my husband’s quiet pain, and we learned to support each other, each in our own way.
My friends were a blessing, caring for our son so my husband could be there for me. Some days still feel heavy, but I’m stronger now. I’ve learned to ask for help, respect my boundaries, talk about my grief instead of hiding it and pretending it never happened. Sharing my story has given others hope, which feels like a gift.
To anyone reading this: you’re not alone. Your pain matters, and healing is possible. You are more than a statistic, and with time and love, you’ll find your path to healing.
Thank you to Katarzyna for sharing her experience and words with us for Ectopic Pregnancy Awareness Day. If you would like to share your experience of ectopic pregnancy, please visit our guide for more information.
Please remember our support services are available at any time.